ways_back_room | OMFG Summary

Crowley is in the bar. Looking... tired.

Faith suggests 'like week-old dog shit' as an alternative description, and Crowley reacts accordingly. Faith threatens motherliness(!), and then they are Pragmatic together over the Barty Crouch Situation. Crowley is, apparently, a Breck Girl, and he then gives Faith a volume of Wilde, proving conclusively that he has great hair and great taste.

Sunny is... Sunny at Crowley. Crowley compliments her art (sort of), and paints her face like a lion (sort of), after which are discussed the 101 Fun Ways To Rule The Bar. Crowley despairs of Sunny's Americanised vocabulary, before the discussion moves on to 'Dora, and Crowley imparts an Important Life Lesson. The demon deputises Sunny, and it is decided that they wock.

Lilly demonstrates to Crowley the evolution of MilliSlang, and recounts the stirring epic of Robert Attila Frog.

Tonks is 'okay', and Crowley is comforting. In, you know, that crappy, awkward way he has. But he at least has some helpful ideas. More on Barty Crouch, and Crowley is terribly amused by the idea of Bernard being under house arrest. The end of this thread has Tonks bringing Crowley to visit Bernard, but we're going to pretend that didn't happen, lalalala continuity, because...

At some point in the proceedings, Crowley decides some fresh air is what is needed to perk him up, and, en route to the lake door, encounters old Long, Tall and Ugly by the fire. Because Crowley has no sense of self-preservation, he greets Roland with 'What up, sai?'. Amazingly, the demon survives, and, with M25-shaped logic, decides that he now owes himself a drink. Confounded by this chain of reasoning, Roland changes the subject, wondering how much creative license demons get. He is amused at Crowley's up-fuckery of the Apocalypse-that-wasn't, but less amused by the circumstances under which Crowley's Bentley spontaneously combusted at the time. There are other worlds than these. Crowley concurs, but Roland is unimpressed with his barfly philosophy. There is a bit of rumination along the lines of 'fucking Milliways', before Crowley continues on his way outside.

Out by the lake, Crowley and River fly, and Kaylee watches.

"Mó shù," she says.

Magic.

You should read this.

MEANWHILE (see my continuity genius?), Aziraphael comforts Tonks also, and badgers her to see a doctor about her health. Even more on Barty Crouch, the cad, before Tonks drags the angel off to visit Bernard.

AFTERWARDS, Crowley comes back inside from the lake, and also encounters Aziraphael. They insult each other idly, and Crowley is generally exhausted at Aziraphael. He makes an effort to thwart the angel's impending sappiness, but to no avail. Luckily for Crowley, this leads to an impromptu bed-time story recounting the escapades of Bird and Snake (which you should all also read, because. Bird and Snake!). Crowley happily announces that it was appallingly, disgustingly saccharine, and then the two of them head home.

FIN.

*SWIRLY QUESTION-MARK*

OMFG Summary

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