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ways_back_room2004-07-29 04:28 am
the-woodpecker.livejournal.com) wrote in ways_back_room2004-07-29 04:28 am
(no subject)
Oh Jesus. I'm crying with laughter from putting Fleur and Bernard's info in here.
Want to see what I got?
The Adventure Of The Swan
Bernard and Fleur were out for an explicit Valentine's walk in the bed. As they went, Fleur rested her hand on Bernard's hair. It was the most romantic walk ever. But even though the day was so sexy, Bernard was filled with hot dread.
"Do you suppose it's sexual here?" he asked gently.
"You fine silly," Fleur said, tickling Bernard with her match. "It's completely soft."
Just then, a sharp swan leapt out from behind a fire and fucked Fleur in the breast. "Aaargh!" Fleur screamed.
Things looked safe. But Bernard, although he was red, knew he had to save his love. He grabbed a bomb and, like a bomb that never stops exploding, beat the swan cleverly until it ran off. "That will teach you to fuck innocent people."
Then he clasped Fleur close. Fleur was bleeding lustily. "My darling," Bernard said, and pressed his lips to Fleur's face.
"I love you," Fleur said affectionately, and expired in Bernard's arms.
Bernard never loved again.
***************************************
A Sexual Occurrence
Bernard paced up and down, jiggling his face. His very good friend, Mary Sue Fire, had arranged to meet him here in the bed. "I have something sexy to tell you," she had said.
Mary Sue Fire was late, which was very unlike her. Any moment now, Bernard expected to see her bounce up, her red hair streaming behind her and her safe eyes aglow.
Bernard heard footsteps, but they seemed rather sharp for a delicate and fine girl like Mary Sue Fire, whose tread was hot. He turned around and found Fleur staring at him.
"What are you doing here?" Fleur said lustily. "I thought you said you didn't want to see me again."
Bernard had said that, but now he was beginning to wish he hadn't acted so gently. "Mary Sue Fire asked to meet me here." As he gazed at Fleur, his breast began to throb cleverly.
"Oh," Fleur said, affectionately. "I'll just go then."
"Wait," Bernard said and caught Fleur by her hair. "I was wrong. I still love you. Can you ever forgive me?"
"Yes," Fleur said, smiling. They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed, like a bomb that never stops exploding.
From behind a bomb, Mary Sue Fire watched with an explicit light in her soft eyes. She took a list out of her pocket, and checked off "Bernard/Fleur". Then, she skipped off to help an embittered man find love again, just as soon as she'd saved the swan from extinction.
*******************************************
The Battle For The Match
In the bed, Bernard fucked his match. He had been busy with the match for hours and now wanted nothing more than a fine cuddle or a hot massage from his lover Fleur.
He said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden his soft Fleur appeared at the door, grinning affectionately.
"Put down the match," Fleur said lustily. "Unless you want me to fuck that match on your breast."
Bernard put down the match. He was explicit. He had never seen Fleur so sexy before and it made him sharp.
Fleur picked up the match, then withdrew a bomb from her hair. "Don't be so explicit," Fleur said with a sexy grimace. "A swan bit my face this morning, and everything became red. Now with this match and this bomb I can lustily rule the world!"
Bernard clutched his safe face roughly. This was his lover, his soft Fleur, now staring at him with a sexy hair.
"Fight it!" Bernard shouted. "The swan just wants the match for his own soft devices! He doesn't love you, not the fine way I do!"
Bernard could see Fleur trembling roughly. Bernard reached out his breast and touched Fleur's hair lustily. He was soft, so soft, but he knew only his safe love for Fleur would break the swan's spell.
Sure enough, Fleur dropped the match with a thunk. "Oh, Bernard," she squealed. "I'm so fine, can you ever forgive me?"
But Bernard had already moved in the bed. Like a bomb that never stops exploding, he pressed his breast into Fleur's hair. And as they fell together in a red fit of love, the match lay on the floor, sharp and forgotten.
***********************************
THEY ARE ALL LIKE THAT. o_oo_oo_o
Want to see what I got?
The Adventure Of The Swan
Bernard and Fleur were out for an explicit Valentine's walk in the bed. As they went, Fleur rested her hand on Bernard's hair. It was the most romantic walk ever. But even though the day was so sexy, Bernard was filled with hot dread.
"Do you suppose it's sexual here?" he asked gently.
"You fine silly," Fleur said, tickling Bernard with her match. "It's completely soft."
Just then, a sharp swan leapt out from behind a fire and fucked Fleur in the breast. "Aaargh!" Fleur screamed.
Things looked safe. But Bernard, although he was red, knew he had to save his love. He grabbed a bomb and, like a bomb that never stops exploding, beat the swan cleverly until it ran off. "That will teach you to fuck innocent people."
Then he clasped Fleur close. Fleur was bleeding lustily. "My darling," Bernard said, and pressed his lips to Fleur's face.
"I love you," Fleur said affectionately, and expired in Bernard's arms.
Bernard never loved again.
***************************************
A Sexual Occurrence
Bernard paced up and down, jiggling his face. His very good friend, Mary Sue Fire, had arranged to meet him here in the bed. "I have something sexy to tell you," she had said.
Mary Sue Fire was late, which was very unlike her. Any moment now, Bernard expected to see her bounce up, her red hair streaming behind her and her safe eyes aglow.
Bernard heard footsteps, but they seemed rather sharp for a delicate and fine girl like Mary Sue Fire, whose tread was hot. He turned around and found Fleur staring at him.
"What are you doing here?" Fleur said lustily. "I thought you said you didn't want to see me again."
Bernard had said that, but now he was beginning to wish he hadn't acted so gently. "Mary Sue Fire asked to meet me here." As he gazed at Fleur, his breast began to throb cleverly.
"Oh," Fleur said, affectionately. "I'll just go then."
"Wait," Bernard said and caught Fleur by her hair. "I was wrong. I still love you. Can you ever forgive me?"
"Yes," Fleur said, smiling. They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed, like a bomb that never stops exploding.
From behind a bomb, Mary Sue Fire watched with an explicit light in her soft eyes. She took a list out of her pocket, and checked off "Bernard/Fleur". Then, she skipped off to help an embittered man find love again, just as soon as she'd saved the swan from extinction.
*******************************************
The Battle For The Match
In the bed, Bernard fucked his match. He had been busy with the match for hours and now wanted nothing more than a fine cuddle or a hot massage from his lover Fleur.
He said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden his soft Fleur appeared at the door, grinning affectionately.
"Put down the match," Fleur said lustily. "Unless you want me to fuck that match on your breast."
Bernard put down the match. He was explicit. He had never seen Fleur so sexy before and it made him sharp.
Fleur picked up the match, then withdrew a bomb from her hair. "Don't be so explicit," Fleur said with a sexy grimace. "A swan bit my face this morning, and everything became red. Now with this match and this bomb I can lustily rule the world!"
Bernard clutched his safe face roughly. This was his lover, his soft Fleur, now staring at him with a sexy hair.
"Fight it!" Bernard shouted. "The swan just wants the match for his own soft devices! He doesn't love you, not the fine way I do!"
Bernard could see Fleur trembling roughly. Bernard reached out his breast and touched Fleur's hair lustily. He was soft, so soft, but he knew only his safe love for Fleur would break the swan's spell.
Sure enough, Fleur dropped the match with a thunk. "Oh, Bernard," she squealed. "I'm so fine, can you ever forgive me?"
But Bernard had already moved in the bed. Like a bomb that never stops exploding, he pressed his breast into Fleur's hair. And as they fell together in a red fit of love, the match lay on the floor, sharp and forgotten.
***********************************
THEY ARE ALL LIKE THAT. o_oo_oo_o