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ways_back_room2007-06-08 12:16 am
dear-of-heart.livejournal.com) wrote in ways_back_room2007-06-08 12:16 am
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We have an overabundance of characters with Destinies in Milliways, who have defeated evil sorcerer and gods (or their mother-in-laws), and in general are quite heroic.Well, Discworld (by Terry Pratchett) isn’t very kind to heroes. Thus, Becca and I have decided to issue a challenge!
How would Your Character(s) Commit Ankh-Morpork Suicide*?
-A drabble (or, well, something short)
-Based in Ankh-Morpork (Find a reason for the crossover as you will)
-Preferably humorous in nature!
-And remember, there’s a million ways to “commit suicide” in Ankh-Morpork. Be creative!
* “Murder was in fact, a fairly uncommon event in Ankh-Morpok, but there were a lot of suicides. Waliking in the night time alleyways of The Shades was suicide, asking for a short in a dwarf bar was suicide, you could commit suicide very easily if you weren't careful.” --Men at Arms
ETA: Your character doesn't HAVE to be a hero. It's just funny to see "invincible" heroes taken down by a group of dwarfs.
How would Your Character(s) Commit Ankh-Morpork Suicide*?
-A drabble (or, well, something short)
-Based in Ankh-Morpork (Find a reason for the crossover as you will)
-Preferably humorous in nature!
-And remember, there’s a million ways to “commit suicide” in Ankh-Morpork. Be creative!
* “Murder was in fact, a fairly uncommon event in Ankh-Morpok, but there were a lot of suicides. Waliking in the night time alleyways of The Shades was suicide, asking for a short in a dwarf bar was suicide, you could commit suicide very easily if you weren't careful.” --Men at Arms
ETA: Your character doesn't HAVE to be a hero. It's just funny to see "invincible" heroes taken down by a group of dwarfs.
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*knows nothing of canon either*
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It's kind of like Yuletide Treasure, in which you must write 1000+ in a canon you maybe know. Challenging fun times!
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Though I agree with TL - go pick up some Pratchett books. They are the highest form of win.
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Granted, limitations (time, energy, etc) are true for almost everything proposed on here, but. Yeah.
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I don't think it's that different from 'what would your daemon be?' challenges. *grins* Just, um. Longer. HI WORDS.
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Oh man... that would be funny.
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Just... after my exam tomorrow. :(
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Although the most obvious choice would be to just jump into the Ankh...
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Sometimes we find danger waiting ...
The Muppets weren't sure how they had arrived in the market -- but that sort of thing happened to them all the time. They were used to it.
"Kermie? Where are we? What is this place called?"
"Uh, just a second, Piggie, I'll ask one fo the merchants."
Kermit walked the short distance over to where C.M.O.T. Dibbler was plying his trade. "Excuse me, sir? What city is this, please?"
Dibbler looked down at the frog, wondered idly if he'd accidentally eaten some of his own sausages, then shrugged. "You're in the wondrous city of Ankh-Morpork, stranger." Kermit thanked him and walked back to Piggie while Dibbler was still trying to figure out if frogs would either eat, or be made into, sausages.
Smiling at the funny name of the city, Kermit cheerfully said to Miss Piggie, "Ankh-Morpork!"
Of course, what the volatile pig had heard was "Honk more pork!" She threw him into the River Ankh, which of course had not been composed of actual water for centuries. The poor frog sank like a stone, the end.
... and sometimes we bring our danger with us.
Re: Sometimes we find danger waiting ...
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Guppy considered this as he wandered home from the newly built hospital (previously a garden shed, located in Monkey street). Just behind him, an unlucky mugger fell down a manhole. The patients had been rather a good sort so far, he felt. Although he had had to deal with that curious sort of stitched fellow, who said he could repair people without it costing them an arm and a leg. Not their own anyway.
He turned towards the Whore pits, stopping only briefly to tell a rather chilly-looking young lady that he didn't need any sewing today, but thanks for asking. He considered giving her his coat but she seemed to dash off. But there was another in need of his services, it seemed. He approached the limping man and enquired whether he needed assistance.
"DR SANDHU?"
Guppy looked down at his lifeless body. The limping man was just stealing his wallet and eating some of the cat biscuits in his pocket.
"Oi!" he yelled, but found that he couldn't retrieve his items. Reality dawned.
"Oh." He looked up at the figure. "Is that it? I spent my entire life in education to be hit by a thief?"
"THERE IS NO JUSTICE." the figure replied. "NOT NORMALLY ANYWAY. IN YOUR CASE HOWEVER, I THINK SOMETHING COULD BE ARRANGED..."
Of course, some people are, quite simply, born to be dead. The partial invincibility that came with being a zombie was an enormously useful tool in his profession. Not only this, but some patients were so struck by his skills, that they only had to see him to really feel very much better.
The beginning.
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Also, the whole doctor thing? Really helpful with stitching your limbs back on. *snugs!*
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