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[muji]

Anyone have a really good quote from their canons?

I always liked "I would appreciate it if one person on this boat would not assume I'm an evil, lecherous hump". It works for me.

AND IN OTHER NEWS:



By acherontia_styx!

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[ashen_key]

"No, I'll shoot the cook. My car's parked out the back anyway."

[muji]

\o/ What makes me happy is that even if I didn't know what characters you play, I still would've gotten that quote.

[innerbrat]

Paraphrased from memory:

"You met your Watcher yesterday."
"No I di.. OH MY GOD you mean that guy who set himself on fire?"
"As I said, directionless."
"He SET. Himself. On FIRE."
"Maybe he was cold."

[muji]

I LOVE THAT SCENE.

[mendanddefend_archive]

"Do not worry. I have prepared something for just such an emergency."
"You're prepared for a giant monster made entirely of nulls, stomping around Mainframe?"
"That is correct!"
"How do you plan for that?"
"Uh... lucky guess?"

[muji]

^_^;; *hearts on Reboot*

[newredshoes]

I mean, this one's just a classic.

Sam: About a week ago I accidentally slept with a prostitute.
Toby: Really?
Sam: Yes.
Toby: You accidentally slept with a prostitute.
Sam: Call girl.
Toby: Accidentally.
Sam: Yes.
Toby: I don't understand, did you trip over something?

[ashen_key]

Okay, that one actually made me snigger out loud.

[rt-5478.livejournal.com]

"Mell?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm sorry I dissembled."
"'Sokay. We found your pants eventually."

[muji]

...xD

[tinylegacies.livejournal.com]

Barney's really got the most quotable quotes in the series and I'll leave those for Tim.

But here's a couple of fun ones:

Marshall: [Looking at Computer] This is the 90s, why does it look like 1986?
Robin Scherbatsky: The 80s didn't come to Canada til like '93.

Ted Mosby: You're afraid of the seven dwarfs?
Robin Scherbatsky: Just Doc. He's creepy. I mean, he's got a medical degree. Why is he hanging around a bunch of coal miners?

[muji]

\o/ Cool beans. (Especially the Doc one; lady's got a point.)

[grumpyseer.livejournal.com]

"Jacob."
"Dominic."
"You look... undead."
"You look crippled."
"You smell like a crypt."
"You smell like muffins."
"I've been baking."
"I've been necromancing."

[muji]

*laughs* Okay, it's official -- I need to do this DE like, every first-day-of-my-work-week. That's awesome.

[timjr.livejournal.com]

"If by "like the Loch Ness Monster," you mean "totally exists and is awesome," then, yeah, it's like the Loch Ness Monster."

[muji]

Remind me to steal that line.

[bodldops.livejournal.com]

"There are worlds out there, where the sky is burning, where the sea's asleep, and the rivers dream. People made of smoke and cities made of song. Somewhere there's danger, somewhere there's injustice, and somewhere else the tea is getting cold. Come on Ace, we have work to do."

[muji]

Ohhhh, Doctor. <3

[alittle-priest.livejournal.com]

I've got a few.

Sebastien swallowed a ridiculous, hurtful pride feeling like a man watching his terrier stare down a room full of mastiffs. "Jack--"

"Shut up, Sebastien."

...I don't know WHY that line makes me giggle but it totally does.

Jack; "I suppose you would like it if I tried to make friends."
Sebastien: "I do not expect miracles outside of church."

and finally

"You mean we'll not just show up on his doorstep and crash our way in?"

"I have heard he has a death ray," Sebastien answered. "I shall prefer caution, just this once."

[muji]

My brain just immediately retorted with "It's a ray. That causes immediate death. How is that NOT a death ray?"

[canadabear.livejournal.com]

I would do this if I could brain right now. But I can't. :/

[muji]

*weeps for Steph!brain*

[slutbamwalla.livejournal.com]

Hmm, let's see.

"I've got a... thing. Well, four things. Well, four things... and a lizard."

"I'd call you a genius except I'm in the room."

"I can't believe it's really you." (scream in distance) "Okay, now I can!"

"That is enigmatic. That... that is textbook enigmatic."

[muji]

What's the third one from?

[wellthrownstone.livejournal.com]

And the Belgariad is MADE of awesome quotes.

Pick up one foot and put it in front of the other. I'll let you decide which foot. Don't try to pick them both up at the same time, though. -- The Voice of Prophecy

...no, really.

"You killed him?" Garion asked in a shocked voice.
"Of course I didn't kill him. All I did was run him through the leg- just a little bit."
"How can you run somebody through just a little bit, Lelldorin?" Garion
demanded of his friend in exasperation.

and of course

"What was that?" Belgarath asked, coming back around the corner.
"Brill," Silk replied blandly, pulling his Murgo robe back on.
"Again?" Belgarath demanded with exasperation. "What was he doing this time?"
"Trying to fly, last time I saw him." Silk smirked.
The old man looked puzzled.
"He wasn't doing it very well," Silk added.
Belgarath shrugged. "Maybe it'll come to him in time."
"He doesn't really have all that much time." Silk glanced out over the edge.
From far below--terribly far below--there came a faint, muffled crash; then, after several seconds, another. "Does bouncing count?" Silk asked.
Belgarath made a wry face. "Not really."
"Then I'd say he didn't learn in time," Silk said blithely.
--Castle of Wizardry

[muji]

I think I lose for not having read this yet.

[wakeupnew]

"Oh look. My tax dollars at work, coming to arrest me."

"I will not carry a gun, Frank. When I got thrown into this war I had a clear understanding with the Pentagon: no guns. I'll carry your books, I'll carry a torch, I'll carry a tune, I'll carry on, carry over, carry forward, Cary Grant, cash and carry, carry me back to Old Virginia, I'll even 'hari-kari' if you show me how, but I will not carry a gun."

"How was the funvee?"

[paraphrased]
"What's she so mad about, anyway?"
"Dennis, you left her at the altar when she was pregnant."
"But that was ages ago!"
"Well, women ... remember that stuff."

I could quote from M*A*S*H alone ALL DAY and my unmentioned characters have good ones but no time. *FLEES*

[muji]

HOW WAS THE FUNVEE INDEED.

[calluna]

There was this one part of the ep "Mr. Monk and the Daredevil" that made me nearly die laughing. Monk was arguing with Harold Krenshaw outside of Dr. Kroger's office, and the following took place:

Monk: Go to hell, Harold.
Harold: You go to hell!
Monk: The only reason I would even consider going to hell would be to visit you.

[muji]

xD Monk ftw.

[buongiornodaisy.livejournal.com]

Man, way too many from "Lost." And...all my canons, really. Mebbe I'll post after I've had my daily dose of yerba mate and cawfee.

[muji]

Could never succeed at the mate thing. Blech.

[almosthonorable]

"You do one good deed for somebody, I imagine it's habit-forming."

[muji]

I HEART YOU, FUTURE RAGUEL I MEAN WHAT. >_>

[camwyn]

"The parents are very irritating. Can I take them out?"
"Ironhide, you know we don't harm humans! What is with you?"
"Well, I'm just saying we could. It's an option."

"Personally, I liked the university. They gave us money and facilities, we didn't have to produce anything! You've never been out of college! You don't know what it's like out there! I've worked in the private sector. They expect results."

"I am not breaking radio silence just 'cos you lot got spooked by a dead flying fucking cow."

"That was very good, Bish. Remind me to make you an honorary blind person."

Danii covered the Belgariad already; I don't have any of the dialogue from the A+ ending of Call of Cthulhu: Dark Corners of the Earth memorized; and as for Gordon's canon, well, right now the best quote I can think of for the canon he's been through so far?

"Welcome to the H.E.V. Mark IV Protective System for use in hazardous environment conditions. High-impact reactive armor, activated. Atmospheric contaminant sensors, activated. Automatic medical systems, engaged. Defensive weapon selection system, activated. Munition level monitoring, activated. Communications interface, online. Have a very safe day."

[muji]

The quote from Gordon's canon is now officially scrawled across my board at work. \o/

[buongiornodaisy.livejournal.com]

Okay, here's A quote that made me lol as I inhaled season 2 of "Lost" this weekend:

HURLEY: Hey, man, remember that radio we made? I'm thinking maybe I could get it to play some music. You know, for Libby.

SAYID: Well, it worked only once and then just for a minute. I've tried several times since and only gotten static.

HURLEY: Here's the thing -- even that would be good -- because then Libby would be like, "it's the thought that counts" -- and I'll score major points. Especially when she sees me holding it over my head.

SAYID: And why would you hold a static generating radio over your head?

HURLEY: They didn't have Say Anything in Baghdad? It's awesome. This dude, like, gets his boom box and he holds it over his head outside this chick's window and he plays some Peter Gabriel song for her and bam, the girl's, like, his. I mean, after her dad goes to jail. But then he gets her.

SAYID: I think I get the idea.

[dynastessa]

*snicker* I remember that scene!

[naelwyn.livejournal.com]

When he was committing a robbery, Mulch often gave voices to the objects he was about to steal. This, he knew, would sound a little crazy to the rest of the world, but he spent a lot of time on his own and he needed someone to talk to.

Come on, Mister Handsome Dwarf, said one of the charges in a breathy falsetto. I'm waiting. I don't like it here, you know. Please rescue me.

Very well, Madame, said Mulch silently, taking the bag from inside his shirt. I'll take you, but we're not going very far.

Me, too, said the other charge. I want to go, too.

Don't worry, ladies. Where you're going, there's plenty of room for the both of you.

-

Did he really need billions of dollars?

Of course he needed it. Aurum Est Potestas. Gold Is Power.

Really? Will you take you chance to be a hero? To make a difference.

Because he could not groan aloud, Artemis rolled his eyes and gritted his teeth. Well, if was going to be a hero, he would be a well-paid one. He quickly deducted a ten-percent finder's fee from the 2.8 billon, then sent the rest to Amnesty International. He made the transaction irreversible, in case he weakened later on.

-

"Safety catches off," ordered Trouble.

He imagined his men rolling their eyes. Like they hadn't had their safeties off for the last half an hour. Still, you had to go by the book, in case of a tribunal late on. There was a time when Retrieval blasted first and answered questions never. But not anymore. Now there was always some do-gooder civilian banging on about civil rights. Even for humans if you can believe it.



:D

[naelwyn.livejournal.com]

Angeline: "Arty."

Artemis: "How are you, Mother?"

Angeline: "I'm fine, Arty, but you sound like you're doing a job interview, as usual. Always so formal. Couldn't you call me Mom or even Angeline? Would that be so terrible?"

Artemis: "I don't know, Mother. Mom sounds so infantile. I am fourteen now, remember?"

Angeline: "How could I forget? Not many teenage boys ask for a ticket to a genetics' symposium for their birthday."

-

Holly: "Listen, I can't stay on long. I had to bolt on a pirate booster to this thing just to get a signal. This call is costing me a fortune. I need a favor."

Artemis: "No one ever calls me just to say hello."

-

Artemis: "No, mademoiselle, I would not like to see the children's menu. I have no doubt that the children's menu itself tastes better than the meals on it. I would like to order à la carte. Or don't you serve fish to minors?"

-

Holly: "Seven and a half hours to save the world. Isn't there a law that says we get at least twenty-four?"

-

Foaly: "I'm right there with you, darlin'. Unless you step on a landmine, in which case I'm way back in the Operations Room."

-

Foaly: "No. This is not the commander. This is Foaly, the Centaur. Is this the kidnapping lowlife human?"

-

Commander Root: "Being in command means making tough decisions. Not being in command means shutting up and doing what you're told."

-

Commander Root: "Captain Short's life is in danger, so push the button before I climb that tower and push it with your face!"


Er, otay, that was a lot. But what can I say? I love Artemis's canon. And I have a thing for collecting quotes.

[varadia]

"You should not walk with a concussion. It is bad for you."

(I may have paraphrased that. Alas that my canon is not at work with me.)

[muji]

<3.

[sdelmonte]

Knox: "Lieutenant, is there a six-foot bat in Gotham City? And, if so, is he on the police payroll? And, if so, what's he pulling down, after taxes?"

Gibbs: "Curse you for breathin' ya slack-jawed idiot. Mother's love. Jack. You should know better than to wake a man when he's sleepin'. Its bad luck."

Dean O'Dell: (To editor of student paper) "I'm afraid I'm gonna need you to step down as editor of the Free Press."
"It's a student paper! You can't."
"I'm a devious old man, Nish. You'd be surprised what I can do. You're done there, as of this moment."

Kirk...so many choices, but this one is my favorite example of why I like him, from "A Taste of Armageddon":
(Alien leader) "You realize what you've done!"
"Yes, I do. I've given you back the horrors of war. Vendikar will now assume that you have violated the treaty and are preparing to wage real war with real weapons. They'll want to do the same... only the next attack they launch will do more than count up numbers on a computer. They'll destroy your cities, devastate your planet. You, of course, will want to retaliate; if I were you, I'd start making bombs. Yes, councilman, you have a real war on your hands. You can either wage it with real weapons, or you might consider an alternative – put a stop to it! Make peace."
"There can be no peace! Don't you see – we've admitted it to ourselves! We're a killer species! It's the same with you - your General Order 24!"
"All right - it's instinctive. But the instinct can be fought. We're human beings, with the blood of a million savage years on our hands. But we can stop it! We can admit we're killers, but we're not going to kill today. That's all it takes. Knowing that you're not going to kill... today."

[muji]

Knox always knows the right questions to ask. <3.

[kali921.livejournal.com]

Lockjaw: "Never had...anything to say, Ben." That's the only time Lockjaw has ever spoken aloud in canon, and that comment was to Ben Grimm - it was preceded by one more comment to Pietro Maximoff in the same issue. This was all later retconned as a prank played on Pietro. It's clear that Lockjaw perfectly understands speech (of many kinds), but his speaking ability was explained away as someone throwing their voice.

She-Hulk: Oh, god, too many great lines to possibly pick! But one of my faces is from the cover of the Fourth Wall-demolishing Sensational She-Hulk #1: "If you don't read my book this time, I'm gonna come to your house and RIP UP ALL YOUR X-MEN." (http://www.milehighcomics.com/cgi-bin/backissue.cgi?action=fullsize&issue=73746012988%201)

Hawkgirl: Again, lots of great lines, but I actually like a line she had in the recent issue of JLA, after she delivers a right hook to Roy Harper during a sparring match and he starts screaming like a little girl: "Quit whining. We're supposed to be sparring. Spar." And then she proceeds to kick the crap out of Roy. (http://community.livejournal.com/scans_daily/5716124.html?nc=48) *dusts hands*

Oh, and the always great "I'll get my mace." Said with a wicked, anticipatory grin.

[miss-yt.livejournal.com]

Mass Effect - Commander Shepard (paragonsoldier) and Tali'Zorah nar Rayya (stargypsy)

Gianna Parasini: "You've obviously never been in the corporate world, Commander. You can't just bludgeon your way through."
Commander Shepard: "I can bludgeon pretty hard."

Kaidan Alenko, to Commander Shepard: "Yeah, I read those books, where the hero goes into space to prove himself to the woman he loves. Or, uh, you know, for justice."

Commander Shepard: "I've been telling myself that we're doing the right thing. I don't believe me yet..."

Tali'Zorah nar Rayya: (sarcastically) "The appeal of winter wears thin quickly."

Snow Crash - YT (feminine_menace). I'm going to confine myself to character quotes. Unfortunately I don't have the book with me right now, but when I find it and can read through it I'm going to add more!

YT: "YT here, young, fast and female. Now where the fuck's Enzo?"

Hiro: "So what is it? A drug, a virus or a religion?
Juanita: (shrugs) "What's the difference?"

[kali921.livejournal.com]

"Where the fuck's Enzo?" is one of my favorite lines in Snowcrash. Along with the descriptive line about the deep gorges in Alaska being carved by a "geological act of cunnilingus."

Every time I think that I might be on my way to being a decent writer, I pick up a Neal Stephenson book, leaf through the pages, and realize that I'll never be able to touch remotely his level of greatness. Then I feel like giving up. But I sure enjoy the ride!!

[eirenikos]

"I was taught the usual things a gentleman should know - magic, weapons, poisons, riding, dancing."
--Merlin, The Courts of Chaos

"Grandson," he said levelly, a ruddy light entering his eyes, "even dead, none of my spawn may address me so. I come for thee now in a less than friendly fashion. I come for thee now, and this journey shall I hale thee amid fires."

"No need to take it personally..." I began.
--Oberon and Merlin, Knight of Shadows


I shook out my cloak and brushed myself off. I traveled for perhaps half an hour then, leaving the place far behind me, before I halted and took my breakfast in a hot, bleak valley smelling faintly of sulfur.

As I was finishing, I heard a crashing noise. A horned and tusked purple thing went racing along the ridge to my right pursued by a hairless orange-skinned creature with long claws and a forked tail. Both were wailing in different keys.

I nodded. It was just one damned thing after another.
--Merlin, Trumps of Doom


EDIT ... and this exchange between Corwin and Dara from The Guns of Avalon.

"I am going to tell you something Benedict should have told you long ago," I said. "Never trust a relative. It is far worse than trusting strangers. With a stranger there is a possibility that you might be safe."

"You really mean that, don't you?"

"Yes."

"Yourself included?"

I smiled.

"Of course it does not apply to me. I am the soul of honor, kindness, mercy, and goodness. Trust me in all things."