Plot for everyone - now with extra BOOM!

[hands-of-blu.livejournal.com]

Hi, folks! We of the Team Fortress 2 canon (see this post in milli_wanted for links to the canon and its supplementary material) have a plot idea for those of y'all who might be interested.

Characters from both sides of the videogame Team Fortress 2- battin1000, crysomemore, and yours truly, hands_of_blu have been presenting themselves to Bar patrons as working for more or less respectable companies with the occasional violent edge. It would, we think, be interesting if people found out the hard way that this was nothing at all like the truth. "What 'hard way'?" I hear you cry. Well, I'm glad you asked!

One of the devices the Engineer character can build in the game is a teleporter. Normally, these are a self-contained closed loop: one entrance, one exit. Any given engineer can only have one of each available at a time, and an exit point can't receive teleports from any entrance point except one built by its own creator. They're a neat, simple, point to point system that can allow a team member to cross quite a lot of territory in a matter of seconds… and enemy Spies hate that kind of thing. They carry sabotage devices specifically to attack Engineer equipment. Normally, this results in damage followed by an explosion that destroys the device.

Normally.

In this particular case, a RED Spy would attempt to sap the BLU Engineer's teleporter exit and not quite succeed. For maximum chaos, something similar would happen at the same time with a BLU Spy sapping a RED teleporter exit. While the device would get repaired, something very subtle would go wrong, and neither exit would connect solely to the entrance point after that. Instead, an entry point would open up at Milliways, and it would look like a door of its own- a faintly blue one that would lead to the BLU Team's HQ, and a faintly red one that would lead to RED's.

Anyone who uses one of these doors will be greeted by gunfire, explosions and chaos- the usual background sounds of a TF 2 game. They will probably also be greeted by a frustrated Engineer demanding to know what in the Sam Hill they're DOING in their teleporter system. (We have a possible BLU Engineer applicant this month. No sign of a possible RED; that one would have to be NPC'ed.) Once Medic or Heavy (on BLU) or Scout (on RED) indicated that Milliways was involved somehow, the usual protocol would be engaged for dealing with civilians who wander onto the battlefield. Namely: "Here's a rocket launcher/shotgun/baseball bat/revolver/whatever, make yourself useful." Given that RED and BLU are fronts for giant intelligence agencies- not that we're ever told which intelligence agencies- this is essentially just 'I could tell you what we do, but then I'd have to kill you', only the target gets a little more of a fighting chance. They'll probably also get disguises, as the Spy character has a device that lets him pass himself off as a member of the opposing team- which, to his teammates, merely looks like a paper mask tied to his face. The disguise would be billed to the newcomer as a way of drawing less fire since they wouldn't be an obvious security risk, but really it's more of an excuse to watch people like Raph (for example) run around shouting "IF GOD HAD WANTED YOU TO LIVE HE WOULD NOT HAVE CREATED ME!" with paper masks tied to their faces.

Thanks to the weird nature of the teleport that brought them to the TF world, a character who got hurt badly enough to be within 5 hit points of death (just by way of example, the Scout and the Engineer have 125 hit points each, the Medic 150, the Pyro 175, the Soldier 200, the Heavy more than that) would be instantly teleported back to Milliways rather than dying on the spot or being sent to the team respawn rooms. They would be able to use the healing items in-game and would be subject to healing and 'buffing' by their team Medics up until that point, and if the BLU Medic got into the Bar while people were busy bleeding, he'd patch them up with the medigun- the ones who were on BLU, anyway. RED team members who got sent back to the Bar would need other treatment, possibly from another Bar patron who was crammed into a RED medic's role and still had hold of their medigun. They'd be physically fine afterwards. Psychologically, well, that's up to them.

ETA: As battin1000 pointed out, some folks might not be willing to go back through that door. If a mun wants to really torment their pup, the blinky teleporter will send them back to their team's respawn point instead of Milliways, at least until the mun gets tired of it and decides their pup is out of the game.

The plot would end when the mucked-up teleporters were destroyed or completely rewired, that is, when players request that the plot end. After all, no one has to go through those extra doors...

Comments, anyone?

Comments

[remindmeofthe.livejournal.com]

Oh, neat. I have a character I've not brought in yet who might be good for this. Assuming I can bring him in on time for it.

For that matter, I could probably put Alan in if timing for the other pup doesn't work out. This sounds like fun!

[vivien]

Eee hee hee! That sounds like wacky fun! And Bela can shoot a gun very well.

[agoodshinkickin.livejournal.com]

PICK ME!
PICK ME!
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!
(I think I can even find the old Turtle RPG to find out how many actual hit points Raph has.)

[minkhollow]

...Cata is intrigued by this idea and wishes to subscribe to your newsletter.
Once she's a little closer to in shape, anyway. Which she's working on.

[feminine-menace.livejournal.com]

I'm seriously tempted. YT would make a good backup Scout, although she's probably stick to her non-lethal weapons and maybe a baseball bat.

[timjr.livejournal.com]

...man I really need to pick up 'The Orange Box'.

[ceitfianna]

This sounds like lovely explosive fun.

[genarti]

Ahahahaha.

I'm mulling over whether any of mine would be suitable -- or, rather, whether I want them to go through that, since I have several who'd be good with it fighting-wise -- but ahahahaha awesome.

[scurlock]

Why do I want to put Doc into this XD.

[will_scarlett]

He and Will can tag team!!

[ashen_key]

...*cackles*

[battin1000.livejournal.com]

I am elated that people aren't ignoring me! On an actually related note, this should be fun.

[hands-of-blu.livejournal.com]

If you want to arrange any other team encounters in the Bar or out on the grounds before all of this starts, I'm good with that too. (For the record, when I play medics in the actual game, they tend to die a lot of baseball bats to the head.)

[battin1000.livejournal.com]

Just a quick question, though. How are we handling the whole issue of the average Scout having a life expectancy of like, two minutes? Because I feel that if I were, say, some random character from a Soap Opera or something, and I got shot at after walking through a door that wasn't there earlier, I wouldn't exactly want to go back. So while it's mentioned in the post, what if someone wants their character to stay in longer but gets injured to within 5 hitpoints of death? They go to their respective team's respawn, right? Just asking for some clarification.

Also, since Scout here's the only RED, does that mean he's going to have to lead the displaced Milliways patron's makeshift team? Because the idea of a Scout leading anything is kind of traumatic.

One more question and I'll shut up. What map does this go to? 2Fort? Dustbowl? Well? Capture the Flag or Control Point? (Just for curiosity's sake more than anything else)

That was by no means a quick question, and I'm sorry.

[hands-of-blu.livejournal.com]

No worries at all. Let me see if I can answer these:

1. Yeah, they'd blink back to the respawn point if the mun wanted to keep them in the game. They could probably get their classes changed at that point too, if they thought it would keep them alive longer (although God help anyone who tried to switch up to Heavy and really wasn't suited for it).

2. Scout could, if you wanted him to, but I was also going to ask if you'd like to NPC any of the better-suited-to-it REDs- an Engineer or a relatively stable Soldier or something would probably do, if you wanted to run one of them as the makeshift team leader and the Scout just delivers the basic orientation. If not, we'll think of something else.

3. I was thinking probably 2Fort and Capture the Flag, but that's because I know that particular combination better than anything else. One of the control point maps might be equally interesting...

[battin1000.livejournal.com]

Ah, thanks. While I think it really would be kind of (read: totally) awesome if Scout tried to lead a team, I think it'd work a bit better if I NPC'd an Engineer or Soldier. I'd probably go Soldier, seeing as I'm a bit too stupid to be an Engineer. And his brand of crazy is fun. GETTING BACK TO THE POINT NOW, CTF 2Fort would be good for me too. I'm actually sort of familiar with the layout. Sort of.

[hands-of-blu.livejournal.com]

There's a couple of newbie servers I frequent that're set to CTF 2Fort 24/7, if being able to access them is at all possible for you...?

[battin1000.livejournal.com]

Sadly, Team Fortress 2 likes to cause my computer to crash in the most spectacular manner possible. The other computer that I can use does run it, but it's slow as anything and laaaaaaaaaags. So I can explore maps by myself for a few minutes, rather than actually playing. And I can find maps of the maps. So layout shouldn't be too much of a problem.

[hands-of-blu.livejournal.com]

and in a game like this, lag means death. Gotcha. Okay,t hat's cool.

(I played Granary the other day for the first time. Almost told my teammates to keep yelling for medics because I got so lost that I needed to navigate by the screaming.)

[battin1000.livejournal.com]

My only opponent is the cow. Fighting a wooden cutout of a cow is not a heck of a lot of fun. Fortunately I'm easily amused, so exploring maps is something that's fun for me. I guess that's why I play Scout more than anything else, because he can get to more areas (can't rocket or sticky jump worth crap) and moves fastest out of any of the classes. Laugh if you must. I'm kind of pathetic.

[hands-of-blu.livejournal.com]

I tried rocket jumping the other day. I seem to have an amazing talent for blowing my own feet off at the knees. I'll be staying over here, behind the meat shield classes- or possibly playing Engineer and sitting happily behind my sentry waiting for an opportunity to bash someone's head in with the wrench.

Yes, yes, I know, camping, whatever. I've tried playing pyro and soldier. I have a life expectancy of less than two minutes with either one.

[battin1000.livejournal.com]

I tend to forget that Pyros can't double jump. So much pain and broken ankles. I'd hate to see what other actual players would do to me.

And why are all the other classes so slow?

[hands-of-blu.livejournal.com]

That's seriously why I gave up on Soldier after less than fifteen minutes. So. Bloody. Slow. It just wasn't even funny. I mean, I only play Scout when there isn't someone else better suited to it on the team already, but given how fast Medics are compared to other classes, the Soldier was a hell of a drop.

Lord knows what it'll be like if I ever try to play a Heavy.

[battin1000.livejournal.com]

I tried playing a Heavy once.

SO.

VERY.

SLOW.

I gave up. And maybe I was just imagining this, but I think I kept bumping his shoulders on door frames. I mean, he does have wider shoulders than ANY OTHER CLASS (especially Scout), so it would make sense if that did happen, but again, I could be imagining it. Happens with Gordon Freeman too, now that I think about it.

[hands-of-blu.livejournal.com]

Given that I periodically find myself getting stuck at the top of the stairs leading to the haystack room and the respawn when I play the Medic, and it seems to be fixed by scooting right a little bit, it's possible the Heavy really does have the doorframe problem...

[hands-of-blu.livejournal.com]

Oh, and an addendum based on experience the other night:

The train noises on Well? Are not just for effect. I got splattered. That was embarrassing.

[battin1000.livejournal.com]

OH HO HO. So you've met the train, my greatest foe!

Actually, I've never been hit by the train. I've watched one of my good, actually FPS-savvy friend get hit by the train, but the lageriffic frame-rate kind of detracted from the awesomeness.

[hands-of-blu.livejournal.com]

I have absolutely no idea why I thought it was just an atmospheric. I just remember looking up a second too late, going "Ohgod," and seeing a brand new ka-splat image in the little 'here is how this person died' oval.

Mark of a newbie-friendly server: only one person laughed, and the person I'd been following (I was healing them on the way to the CP) apologized.

[battin1000.livejournal.com]

Ouch.

Funnily enough, I haven't actually been able to find newbie servers. Or any servers. I just open a map, start playing, fall off of something, get frustrated at the amount of lag, and quit. Most of my Team Fortress 2 gameplay experience is waiting for the lag to stop. It's sad, really.

[hands-of-blu.livejournal.com]

I've done pretty well, most of the servers I've found've had decent ping times, but from what I hear from other people that may be a sign I'm simply very, very lucky in my internet coverage.