Burma-Meme!

[a1enzo]

My very strange friend Steve offered me the following food for thought:

THERE'S A HOLE

IN THE SKY

THROUGH WHICH

THINGS CAN

FLY

APERTURE SCIENCE

Got a canonical company, organization, or pretty much anything else that you feel could benefit from a little advertisement? Write a Burma-Shave-style billboard-jingle! Remember, it should be a short-and-snappy rhyming poem spanning five signs, plus one stating the subject of the ad.

One subthread per canon, please, for tidiness; put the canon's name in the subject line. If you have a really good one for a canon not your own, feel free as long as it won't offend anyone.

The entire Burma-Shave jingle archive can be found here.

Comments

Half-Life universe

[vance_prime]

NO MAINTENANCE
WILL BE REQUIRED
WHEN WE
DROP YOU IN
THE FIRE
APERTURE SCIENCE

Re: Half-Life universe

[blueshifted.livejournal.com]

Speedy thing in / Speedy thing out / enough to make you / twist and / shout / Aperture Science

Re: Half-Life universe

[vance_prime]

DON'T YOU FRET
YOUR PRETTY HEAD
WE'LL STILL
DO SCIENCE
WHEN YOU'RE DEAD
APERTURE SCIENCE

Re: Half-Life universe

[vance_prime]

PUSH THE ROCK
INTO THE BEAM
THERE'S NO ONE HERE
TO HEAR YOU
SCREAM
BLACK MESA

Re: Half-Life universe

[minkhollow]

FIRST WE WILL SEND
YOU IN
TO BAKE
AND AFTER THAT
THERE WILL BE CAKE
APERTURE SCIENCE

Re: Half-Life universe

[alt-hulk.livejournal.com]

DR. BREEN
WAS NOT
CONCERNED
SAID IT WAS BETTER
THEN WE LEARNED
CITY 17

Re: Half-Life universe

[alt-hulk.livejournal.com]

U SUDN'T COME HERE
SAID THE SIGN
BUT OUR
CHURCH IS GOOD
AND THERE'S A MINE!
RAVENHOLM

Buffyverse

[stillbecoming]

WE ARE
THE MOST
INCOMPETENT
OF ALL THE
US GOVERNMENT
THE INIATIVE

Heroes

[morelikeasponge.livejournal.com]

THIS COMPANY'S
A WACKY CAPER
WE WORK
WITH MUTANTS
NOT WITH PAPER
PRIMATECH

Terminator verse

[veryscaryrobot.livejournal.com]

WE'RE WORKING
FOR A GREATER
PRIZE
WE WANT
HUMANITY'S DEMISE
SKYNET

Lost

[imthegoodguy.livejournal.com]

DO YOU WANT
TO SAVE THE WORLD?
WE HAVE A JOB
ON AN ISLAND
JUST FOR YOU
THE DHARMA INITIATIVE

Re: Lost

[imthegoodguy.livejournal.com]

YOU ARE SPECIAL
WE KNOW IT
WE WANT TO
HIRE YOU SO
YOU CAN SHOW IT
MITTELOS BIOSCIENCE

Super Mario Bros

[superplumber.livejournal.com]

WE'RE VERY GOOD
AT CLEANING PIPES
IT'S JUST TOO BAD
WE MIGRATED FROM
THE PLANET EARTH
MARIO BROTHERS PLUMBING

Re: Super Mario Bros

[a1enzo]

WE'VE BEEN
CLEANING PIPES
SINCE BIRTH
IT'S JUST TOO BAD
WE LEFT THE EARTH
MARIO BROTHERS PLUMBING

Of course, your version above is the direct translation from the original Italian, which totally rhymes. ;-)

Enderverse

[mandercommander.livejournal.com]

WHEN BUGGERS ATTACK
THE EARTH SOMEDAY
YOU WON'T BEAT
THEM WITH
ANTI-FORMIC SPRAY
THE INTERNATIONAL FLEET

Hartmanverse (Danny Phantom/Fairly OddParents)

[fryertuck]

OFF FROM "TASTY"
BY ONE LETTER
(WITH THE KIDS
A JOKE
SELLS BETTER)
NASTY BURGER

ReBoot

[a1enzo]

FILES TRANSFERRED
NO TIME FLAT
JUST LOOK
FOR THE
BACKWARDS HAT
ENZO'S OVERWRITE DELIVERY SERVICE

Maybe it's too early in the morning...

Re: ReBoot

[a1enzo]

COME ALONE
OR BRING A DATE
YOU'LL FIND
OUR SHAKES ARE
WORTH THE WAIT
AL'S WAIT & EAT

Re: ReBoot

[mendanddefend_archive]

JOIN WITH US
AND HEAR THE WORD
ALTHOUGH
OUR GOALS ARE
SOMEWHAT BLURRED
DAEMON

Coulton-verse

[re_mybrains]

WE PRIDE OURSELVES
ON HOW WE TRAIN
OUR CODERS HAVE
THE FINEST
BRAINS
[Final sign has been removed to be used as a crude bludgeoning device]

V for Vendetta

[evryinchbut1.livejournal.com]

STRENGTH THROUGH UNITY
UNITY THROUGH FAITH
THE FEARS
OF THE PAST
ARE JUST A WRAITH
NORSEFIRE

Greek Pantheon

[2020sight]

Hand-painted:

JUST 'CAUSE SOME
END UP LIKE PHAETON
WE KEEP ROLLIN'
DON'T BE
HATIN'
OLYMPUS

"Maybe that was in poor taste, huh?"

Re: Greek Pantheon

[2020sight]

DON'T BE FOOLED:
HE GETS SOME NECTAR --
PROMETHEUS
IS NO
POINTDEXTER

*runs*

The Dark is Rising

[blue_eyed_lord]

DON'T THINK THAT YOU
CAN TURN US BACK--
BEFORE THE FLOOD
NO HOPE REMAINS FOR YOUR
CIRCLE AND YOUR TRACK.
THE DARK IS RISING.

Re: The Dark is Rising

[sign-seeker.livejournal.com]

SILVER FLOWERS
AT MIDSUMMER
BLASTED OUT
OF TIME'S
A BUMMER
THE DARK IS RISING

The hour at which I wrote that totally does not show. Nope.

Hellboy 'verse

[a1enzo]

GHOULS AND GHOSTIES?
LISTEN, JACK
THEY BUMP
IN THE NIGHT
WE'LL BUMP THEM BACK
BUREAU FOR PARANORMAL RESEARCH AND DEFENSE

Re: Hellboy 'verse

[a1enzo]

FOUND SOMETHING
THAT JUST CAN'T BE?
THAT'S ALL RIGHT
NEITHER
ARE WE
BUREAU FOR PARANORMAL RESEARCH AND DEFENSE