aj_crawley (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
aj_crawley) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
ways_back_room2004-07-14 07:11 pm
aj_crawley) wrote in ways_back_room2004-07-14 07:11 pm
Summary Of The Son Of Threadzilla - Chapter II
Here be the continued summary of the 437-comment Son Of Threadzilla from the other night.
Chapter I of the summary can be found here:
Crowley vs. Kassandra
Crowley vs. Door
Door makes her way over to Crowley's table, and introduces the newly-found Ingress. Crowley coldly remarks upon the kid's runty appearance. Door tries to thank Crowley for the offer he had previously made, to wit: if Door got into trouble in London Below, she could call on him for help. Crowley, the bastard, points out that just because Door called didn't mean he'd have come. Door *lipwobbles*, picks up Ingress, and leaves.
Ingress: I hate you! You made Door cry!
Crowley: Oh dear. This is my 'concerned' face.
Crowley vs. Bartleby
Bartleby offers to fetch Crowley a drink, but Crowley points out that the Servete spell is more than adequate at doing Bartleby's job. Asked where he has been these past few days, Crowley replies that he's been flitting around the middle east - mostly Iraq. He drops some significant names, such as Fallujah and Abu Ghraib. Bartleby notices the little incident with Door described above, and starts to get angry with Crowley. He asks him whether he's Fallen further. Crowley, the bastard, posits that this is something of a case of the pot calling the kettle black, and then makes an exceedingly unsubtle dig at Bartleby's sexuality. Unsurprisingly, Bartleby runs for the hills.
Crowley vs. Tonks
There's a stilted 'So... how've you been?' moment, and Crowley mentions that he's been mixing business with pleasure in the middle east. Tonks shudders, copping on to the fact that Crowley Has Changed. Crowley chides her, a 'soldier-witch', for being squicked by atrocities, to which Tonks replies that, though she's trying to accept Crowley for what he is (ah, bless!), she has her limits. Crowley knows this, but tells Tonks that there is a whole world of difference between knowing and caring. Tonks goes to storm off, and Crowley wonders whether she's taking things a bit personally. In turn, Tonks wonders whether Crowley's taking things a bit to the extreme, to which she is told that so far, she's been handled with kid-skin gloves. Taking those gloves off, Crowley, the bastard, asks Tonks whether she feels responsible for Sirius' death, and whether Harry still cries about it at night. He also vaguely threatens Harry.
Tonks: *nearly crying* Screw you, Crowley. *turns and walks off*
Crowley: Any time, Nymphadora.
Crowley vs. Aziraphale - Long Version
Aziraphale storms over, asking Crowley wtf he's thinks he's doing - his job? Crowley replies that it's not work, it's pleasure. Aziraphale is upset, but Crowley pulls him onto the seat and, leaning in very, very close, asks the angel whether he finds this tempting. It all sounds rather explicitly sexual. Aziraphale denies it, but Door, having seen the temptation, leaps in in a whilrwind of nails, fists, and teeth. Tonks holds her back, but she can't stop her shrieking.
Door: Fuck your jobs! Doing your jobs back during the Apocalypse would have meant letting the world end, but you stopped it, and that turned out okay! Fuck ineffability, and your assigned roles, and what you're supposed to do! You love him!
Crowley, understandably, is Not Amused. Transforming into his true form, he grabs Door by the throat, telling her that the only reason she's not dead right now is because he promised Death he wouldn't make her work that night. Aziraphale, now also in true form, makes Crowley drop Door. Unfortunately, Crowley's poisonous claws have done their work again - Door's neck is scratched, just deep enough to draw blood. Showing a momentary crack in his Facade of Bastardliness, Crowley hurriedly drips some of his own blood on the cuts to negate the poison, then tells Tonks to feck off and heal her.
Tonks tells Crowley to wake the fuck up - is this who he wants to be? Crowley defends himself by saying that what he wants doesn't matter - according to Lucifer, his Boss, there are no choices, no Fourth Options. Tonks shuts up, but keeps her wand trained on Crowley. Meanwhile, Tom arrives and nearly goes Hulk at the sight of a crying Door, but is restrained by Tonks, Peter, et al.
Aziraphale, for his part, is momentarily non-plussed by Crowley's lone good deed of the night. Crowley tries to defend his Utter Bastard label by saying that if he killed someone, he'd be kicked out of the only place in the universe that still serves Atlantean. Aziraphale sees right through this, and for a moment, it almost looks like things are defusing. He tells Crowley that what he is is not the same as who he is. However, when Crowley denies this, falling back on the old ineffability argument in the process, Aziraphale gets angry again. He uses the word 'sod'. *collective gasp from the audience*
Unfortunately, in that same sentence, Aziraphale utters what might very well be construed as blasphemy. Crowley panicks, and tries to shut the angel up, to stop him from Falling. Lucifer makes snide comments from the peanut gallery. Aziraphale announces his confidence that he won't Fall, because unlike Crowley, he trusts God. Crowley is Exceedingly Pissed Off that the angel would presume to know all about his Fall, and asks him why exactly he trusts God so much. Aziraphale, in an astoundingly bad turn of phrase, says that there's no way his God would let him Fall - not for something like this, anyway.
Crowley: >O! *PUNCHY-TIME!*
Aziraphale, being an angel, decides to turn the other cheek, and just gets up and tries to walk away. In a last-ditch attempt to get Aziraphale to fight, Crowley, the bastard, says that it had always been too easy to get the angel to neglect his duty.
Aziraphale: >O! *PUNCHY-TIME!*
Crowley, finally having gotten the angel to do his duty, is all ready for a fight, but Aziraphale regains control of himself. Crowley nearly tears his hair out in frustration. Destruction joins Lucifer in the peanut gallery. Both are told off by the newly-arrived Gabriel, who starts organising crowd safety. Aziraphale tells Crowley that they don't have to fight. Crowley says that yes they do, dammit, the Boss said so. Aziraphale makes the very valid point that Crowley's Boss is the Prince of Lies. But, according to Crowley, he hsa to trust him, because Lucifer is the only one Crowley will ever find who has anything even remotely resembling explanations.
In another fantastic example of Pot-Kettle-Black, Aziraphale shrieks that there are no explanations, and that Crowley's blind faith is very, very stupid.
Crowley: Look who's talking NOW, Mr. 'Don't Blame Your Actions On Ineffability'!
He also points out that an angel is in no position to lecture him on blind faith. Aziraphale states that at least he has faith in something trustworthy. The two also unashamedly quote X-Men. How does Crowley know he's on the right side? At least he's chosen a side. Aziraphale won't even do his goddamn duty. There is a horribly angsty moment when it is revealed that the angel is doing his duty. He's trying to Save Crowley. Crowley breaks.
Gabriel puts up a sound shield - any conversation between the two is now inaudible to other Milliway's patrons.
Aziraphale just wants to go back to how things were before. He places a hand on Crowley's shoulder. Crowley explains that Lucifer had told him that the Arrangement was against the rules. This Arrangement had been extant for 4000 years - what if the next day was one too many? Aziraphale absentmindedly (and amazingly unwisely) strokes Crowley's wing. Repeatedly. Crowley scoots away, and reveals his Terribly Machiavellian Plan. He intended to be such an utter bastard in order to drive people away. Via association with him, mortals would be in danger of being damned, and the angel might Fall. 'Cos, yanno. DEMON, and all.
Aziraphale, or so he says, is well capable of looking after himself. He doesn't need Crowley to do it for him. He strokes Crowley's wing again. Scooting away, Crowley warns that they still don't know where the line is. Aziraphale gives Crowley back his sunglasses, breaking him again. He also wonders whether it matters where the line is. Isn't what they have enough? A distracted Crowley (probably as a result of Aziraphale constantly stroking his goddamn wing) terrifically misphrases his next statement, and Gives The Game Away.
Aziraphale: Do you want more?
Crowley: *SIGNIFICANT SILENCE*
Aziraphale: *outraged flail* *storms out*
Crowley: *facepalm*
Crowley vs. Aziraphale - Short Version
Crowley is a bastard to everyone, and tries to goad Aziraphale into fighting with him. This is actually a plan engineered to set the angel against him so that he doesn't Fall. Aziraphale is stubbornly caring, and Crowley manages to let slip that he is actually in love with him. Aziraphale is furious, and storms out. Crowley's plan actually worked in the end. Oh, the irony.
Crowley & Lady Luck
Lady Luck: I won a bet with Lucifer, and the prize was a seduction with no consequences. Here, you can have it. *is mysterious*
Crowley: ...wtf? O_o
Chapter I of the summary can be found here:
Crowley vs. Kassandra
Crowley vs. Door
Door makes her way over to Crowley's table, and introduces the newly-found Ingress. Crowley coldly remarks upon the kid's runty appearance. Door tries to thank Crowley for the offer he had previously made, to wit: if Door got into trouble in London Below, she could call on him for help. Crowley, the bastard, points out that just because Door called didn't mean he'd have come. Door *lipwobbles*, picks up Ingress, and leaves.
Ingress: I hate you! You made Door cry!
Crowley: Oh dear. This is my 'concerned' face.
Crowley vs. Bartleby
Bartleby offers to fetch Crowley a drink, but Crowley points out that the Servete spell is more than adequate at doing Bartleby's job. Asked where he has been these past few days, Crowley replies that he's been flitting around the middle east - mostly Iraq. He drops some significant names, such as Fallujah and Abu Ghraib. Bartleby notices the little incident with Door described above, and starts to get angry with Crowley. He asks him whether he's Fallen further. Crowley, the bastard, posits that this is something of a case of the pot calling the kettle black, and then makes an exceedingly unsubtle dig at Bartleby's sexuality. Unsurprisingly, Bartleby runs for the hills.
Crowley vs. Tonks
There's a stilted 'So... how've you been?' moment, and Crowley mentions that he's been mixing business with pleasure in the middle east. Tonks shudders, copping on to the fact that Crowley Has Changed. Crowley chides her, a 'soldier-witch', for being squicked by atrocities, to which Tonks replies that, though she's trying to accept Crowley for what he is (ah, bless!), she has her limits. Crowley knows this, but tells Tonks that there is a whole world of difference between knowing and caring. Tonks goes to storm off, and Crowley wonders whether she's taking things a bit personally. In turn, Tonks wonders whether Crowley's taking things a bit to the extreme, to which she is told that so far, she's been handled with kid-skin gloves. Taking those gloves off, Crowley, the bastard, asks Tonks whether she feels responsible for Sirius' death, and whether Harry still cries about it at night. He also vaguely threatens Harry.
Tonks: *nearly crying* Screw you, Crowley. *turns and walks off*
Crowley: Any time, Nymphadora.
Crowley vs. Aziraphale - Long Version
Aziraphale storms over, asking Crowley wtf he's thinks he's doing - his job? Crowley replies that it's not work, it's pleasure. Aziraphale is upset, but Crowley pulls him onto the seat and, leaning in very, very close, asks the angel whether he finds this tempting. It all sounds rather explicitly sexual. Aziraphale denies it, but Door, having seen the temptation, leaps in in a whilrwind of nails, fists, and teeth. Tonks holds her back, but she can't stop her shrieking.
Door: Fuck your jobs! Doing your jobs back during the Apocalypse would have meant letting the world end, but you stopped it, and that turned out okay! Fuck ineffability, and your assigned roles, and what you're supposed to do! You love him!
Crowley, understandably, is Not Amused. Transforming into his true form, he grabs Door by the throat, telling her that the only reason she's not dead right now is because he promised Death he wouldn't make her work that night. Aziraphale, now also in true form, makes Crowley drop Door. Unfortunately, Crowley's poisonous claws have done their work again - Door's neck is scratched, just deep enough to draw blood. Showing a momentary crack in his Facade of Bastardliness, Crowley hurriedly drips some of his own blood on the cuts to negate the poison, then tells Tonks to feck off and heal her.
Tonks tells Crowley to wake the fuck up - is this who he wants to be? Crowley defends himself by saying that what he wants doesn't matter - according to Lucifer, his Boss, there are no choices, no Fourth Options. Tonks shuts up, but keeps her wand trained on Crowley. Meanwhile, Tom arrives and nearly goes Hulk at the sight of a crying Door, but is restrained by Tonks, Peter, et al.
Aziraphale, for his part, is momentarily non-plussed by Crowley's lone good deed of the night. Crowley tries to defend his Utter Bastard label by saying that if he killed someone, he'd be kicked out of the only place in the universe that still serves Atlantean. Aziraphale sees right through this, and for a moment, it almost looks like things are defusing. He tells Crowley that what he is is not the same as who he is. However, when Crowley denies this, falling back on the old ineffability argument in the process, Aziraphale gets angry again. He uses the word 'sod'. *collective gasp from the audience*
Unfortunately, in that same sentence, Aziraphale utters what might very well be construed as blasphemy. Crowley panicks, and tries to shut the angel up, to stop him from Falling. Lucifer makes snide comments from the peanut gallery. Aziraphale announces his confidence that he won't Fall, because unlike Crowley, he trusts God. Crowley is Exceedingly Pissed Off that the angel would presume to know all about his Fall, and asks him why exactly he trusts God so much. Aziraphale, in an astoundingly bad turn of phrase, says that there's no way his God would let him Fall - not for something like this, anyway.
Crowley: >O! *PUNCHY-TIME!*
Aziraphale, being an angel, decides to turn the other cheek, and just gets up and tries to walk away. In a last-ditch attempt to get Aziraphale to fight, Crowley, the bastard, says that it had always been too easy to get the angel to neglect his duty.
Aziraphale: >O! *PUNCHY-TIME!*
Crowley, finally having gotten the angel to do his duty, is all ready for a fight, but Aziraphale regains control of himself. Crowley nearly tears his hair out in frustration. Destruction joins Lucifer in the peanut gallery. Both are told off by the newly-arrived Gabriel, who starts organising crowd safety. Aziraphale tells Crowley that they don't have to fight. Crowley says that yes they do, dammit, the Boss said so. Aziraphale makes the very valid point that Crowley's Boss is the Prince of Lies. But, according to Crowley, he hsa to trust him, because Lucifer is the only one Crowley will ever find who has anything even remotely resembling explanations.
In another fantastic example of Pot-Kettle-Black, Aziraphale shrieks that there are no explanations, and that Crowley's blind faith is very, very stupid.
Crowley: Look who's talking NOW, Mr. 'Don't Blame Your Actions On Ineffability'!
He also points out that an angel is in no position to lecture him on blind faith. Aziraphale states that at least he has faith in something trustworthy. The two also unashamedly quote X-Men. How does Crowley know he's on the right side? At least he's chosen a side. Aziraphale won't even do his goddamn duty. There is a horribly angsty moment when it is revealed that the angel is doing his duty. He's trying to Save Crowley. Crowley breaks.
Gabriel puts up a sound shield - any conversation between the two is now inaudible to other Milliway's patrons.
Aziraphale just wants to go back to how things were before. He places a hand on Crowley's shoulder. Crowley explains that Lucifer had told him that the Arrangement was against the rules. This Arrangement had been extant for 4000 years - what if the next day was one too many? Aziraphale absentmindedly (and amazingly unwisely) strokes Crowley's wing. Repeatedly. Crowley scoots away, and reveals his Terribly Machiavellian Plan. He intended to be such an utter bastard in order to drive people away. Via association with him, mortals would be in danger of being damned, and the angel might Fall. 'Cos, yanno. DEMON, and all.
Aziraphale, or so he says, is well capable of looking after himself. He doesn't need Crowley to do it for him. He strokes Crowley's wing again. Scooting away, Crowley warns that they still don't know where the line is. Aziraphale gives Crowley back his sunglasses, breaking him again. He also wonders whether it matters where the line is. Isn't what they have enough? A distracted Crowley (probably as a result of Aziraphale constantly stroking his goddamn wing) terrifically misphrases his next statement, and Gives The Game Away.
Aziraphale: Do you want more?
Crowley: *SIGNIFICANT SILENCE*
Aziraphale: *outraged flail* *storms out*
Crowley: *facepalm*
Crowley vs. Aziraphale - Short Version
Crowley is a bastard to everyone, and tries to goad Aziraphale into fighting with him. This is actually a plan engineered to set the angel against him so that he doesn't Fall. Aziraphale is stubbornly caring, and Crowley manages to let slip that he is actually in love with him. Aziraphale is furious, and storms out. Crowley's plan actually worked in the end. Oh, the irony.
Crowley & Lady Luck
Lady Luck: I won a bet with Lucifer, and the prize was a seduction with no consequences. Here, you can have it. *is mysterious*
Crowley: ...wtf? O_o
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
'Milliways: It all sounds rather explicitly sexual.'
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject