ways_back_room | Daily Entertainment.

Ray: 'Skill set includes Jedi training, Library of Congress and Dewey Decimal System librarian training, ability to knit three different accurate versions of the Elder Sign using size 0 to size 6 needles, defleshing and mounting of skeletal animal specimens, PADI dive certification, Atomic Energy Commission licensing, accreditation in medieval tech-level alchemy, full conversational fluency in the Sumerian language, five hours of logged microgravity experience, and skill at making Turkish coffee. Academic degrees to follow.'

Steph, help me make decisions. I am a-flutter with girliness.

So I just shot out of the house in order to get to class on time, only to discover that said class has been cancelled. Shooting out of the house meant no time to straighten my freshly-washed hair, which means that I now look like a poodle. I have curls at ninety degrees to my head, I am not kidding.

On way to class, I spotted Guy I Fancy in a cafe. Have not seen Guy I Fancy since getting hair cut to be all sleek and short, and rather wanted to show off said sleek-and-short haircut. Since class has now been cancelled, do I go and talk to him anyway and just pretend that the poodle look is in this season, or do I ignore what would normally be a golden opportunity and set up drinks for another, more poodle-free, time?

*fistbumps on the poodle-ness*

Gordon Freeman: "Dammit, I can still do science! I realize you're probably hiring me for the combat skills but I'm still a scientist!"

Adrian Shephard: "If it has a trigger, I can use it, and if it bleeds, I can kill it. And if it doesn't bleed, it'll just take me a little longer. Also, I have substantial experience working with beehives and with small family farming."

Ironhide: "Kaiba-5 was going to blow up anyway."

Bumblebee: *all the interesting bits are in languages I don't actually know, except for the part where he notes that he has seen literally all the porn on the Internet*

BLU Medic: "The terms of my contract forbid me to put down anything traceable on my resume. However, we can arrange for a skill demonstration at your leisure, pending security clearance of course."

Ellen Park: "Three years of clerical training towards Protestant chaplaincy. Quite a lot of on-the-job training in how to not die. About fifteen minutes of combat flight time at the helm of a flying saucer."

Edited 2010-02-23 14:13 (UTC)

When it comes to resumes, most of my pups would be honest in any case.

Kirk's resume would simply list his achievements, as well as his postings over the years. He might downplay his time as an instructor at the Academy, though.

Knox has only had two jobs, his long-time gig as a reporter and his current one as a columnist. He didn't serve as a reporter in the Bar long enough for it to make it onto any resume.

Cyborg's job is super-hero and he's just 18. Really, I think his resume needs fleshing out. And his lack of a college education would hold him back. (Maybe I should send him to college?)

Gibbs...he could add pirate to his resume. That does come with a lot of job skills. It would be very Pythonesque to then send it out that way. And go on interviews. "Mister Gibbs, I see you've been a pirate for the last ten years. Why do you want to change positions?" "The benefits are lousy." Even if you don't have to wear a suit.

Which leaves Charlie. He had a career as a TV news reporter with many stops, plus time as a professional poker player. Plus all those years as a super-hero. That would make for a strange resume. If we were being partially honest, he could call himself a freelance security analyst or some such nonsense, but it's neither the theme of the DE or Charlie's way. He would be up-front about what he did, or not mention it at all.

Ben Grimm's is easy:
There are three things I love doing; piloting, clobbering and cooking. If you want me for something else, you got the wrong guy.

BRB, laughing FOREVER at that icon.

I am this close [] to making an EP with him sporting that mustache. I can already think of a couple of reasons for it as well, lost bet, charity, too much time in the Negative Zone.

Ace:

... I'm sorry, but I must pause to report that my cat's new favorite method to catching the fake mousie on the end of her wand toy is to FLOP DOWN ON TOP OF IT. World's worse mouser. Evah. *loves on kitten*

ANYWAY.

Ace: 1983-1985ish - waitress. Reason for leaving: Dumped a milkshake over a patron's head. She deserved it.
1995-current: ... titles are passe. I blow things up for the greater good.

Wedge: If at all possible, I prefer all missions be scheduled for days the Dreadnaughts aren't playing. They are definitely going to win this season.

Urahara: Created the one means for the most evil being in the universe to gain ultimate power. And then neglected to tell anyone about it. For centuries. Because it wasn't important... like selling sweets to gullible humans.

Laranth: If it's a weapon, I can use it. If you want a demonstration, I promise you won't like it.

Romana: Attempted to save an entire universe, one wrongfully-imprisoned slave at a time. It almost worked, too.

Bones McCoy: Once saved an entire ship through medicated alcohol. According to Scotty, it makes a great cocktail.

Glorfindel: Out of my lives, the feat I am most proud of is the day I managed to dye Gil-Galad's horse green.

All of it.

Especially the mane and tail. :D

Scaramouche: I specialize in creative fashion, uber!feminism, micro-computers, and being the gender-swapped reincarnation of a long-dead rocker.

Ooh, that reminds me. It's been a while since I gave Medic an EP. *goes to fix that*

Oooh, I'll throw a Scara at him tonight! *sighs* The other doc called in sick. Is gonna be a looooong day. We're double-booked.

Oh, bleah. Good luck with that.

*hits up the Discovery channel ads before sailing off*

Boom-de-yada, yo. :D

Some of mine would be ... interesting.

I mean, there are the more straightforward ones like Rhodey, who has been a test pilot, combat pilot, flight instructor, and ~~pencil pusher~~ ~~baby sitter~~ liaison to a weapons manufacturing company, all for the USAF. Also on that resume: test pilot school, the Air Force Academy, and a masters degree in aeronautical engineering (if I am remembering all that crap right, which, full disclosure, I am probably not) from MIT. Also pretty normal: Watson, who has either been an army surgeon or has been in private practice since graduating from medical school. Though if he were feeling particularly cheeky, he could add things like 'excellent brawler'? 'Aces with a sword-cane'?

Riley's is pretty ordinary, too (up to a certain point); a bachelors in computer science from George Washington University followed by several years with an experimental computer programming NSA division and some freelance computer security work on the side. And then, uh, treasure hunter and professional millionaire for the last year or two. "Breaking in" skills aren't something that belong on a resume, but he could lay claim to them!

I have no idea how Sam gets the job we see her with in canon. Her resume was probably a half-full crumpled sheet of paper with food stains on it. It likely mentioned her time spent in a juvenile detention center, name-checked her probation officer, and listed the eating contests she's won.

Liz ... could not possibly explain the last 20 years of her life on paper, when the BPRD has to be a secret. There would be all these awkward enormous gaps, punctuated by very short stints as a waitress in New York, a short order cook in Wyoming, a secretary in New Orleans. The only way she used to get those jobs when she was wandering while on breaks from the Bureau was by showing up when someone was totally desperate and didn't care that she had no real work experience and no official record of existence for years at a time. She could put leadership skills (except she wouldn't) and photography (she might), though! She is also relatively computer savvy and knows her way around Photoshop, so she might put that under special skills.

Jessica's resume: totally bare. Maybe with the words I'M A VAMPIRE, BITCHES!!! joyously scrawled on it. She has never had a job, and now, she has decided, she never needs to!

Plourr's would be pretty ridiculous. Royal education from an army of private tutors and no formal education past the age of 12, years as a freelance mechanic and mercenary, years as a New Republic capital ship mechanic, two-ish years as a lieutenant in a fighter pilot squadron, three or four years as the empress of an entire planet. Speaks Huttese fluently and Rodian moderately well (note: those are both smugglers' languages with excellent cursing options). Skilled fighter pilot and thak rider; crack blaster shot with unsurpassed hand-to-hand combat skills. Improving diplomatic skills. Honorary degree from the capital city's major university, in order to stave off the scandal that she stopped going to school at 12.

Maya doesn't exactly need a resume. She was an orphan picked up very, very early as having the capacity to be a sorceress, and she has been in training or has been rising through the ranks ever since. She has 15-20 years of service in the Red Army as a warkaster under her belt, currently standing as a sorceress-major. Skills include leadership, munitions, and kasting spells that will kill a whole lot of bad guys. Served in most of the major battles of the past 10 years. Trained at the Academy.

I will maybe add my last two later! For some reason the thought of writing resumes for M*A*S*H characters is blowing my mind a little.

Edited 2010-02-23 16:41 (UTC)

Heh. I don't think any of my characters, including even my relatively normal ones, have ever submitted resumes to anyone. Elle and Six are kind of obvious; Sharon also obviously didn't, and while she might have memories of having jobs when she was young, I can't imagine any were the kind where she'd need a resume - the closest would be her application to the Fleet; Emerson I imagine as working with his mother up until he went to art school, then setting up his own P.I. practice after he dropped out.

Soo... Emerson's about the only one who could really have a resume, and I suppose he'd have his many years of P.I. skills, his few years of art school, the fact that he's a published author! (eventually), and what is a lot of genuine artistic talent. ~~And knitting~~

The others... heh. It hurts my head too much to try.

Atton's would be ... eclectic, especially taking millicanon into account.

Born into the Wulfric Clan on Kazic III, and with education in the basics of shepherding. Later, educated on Coruscant in reading, writing, mathematics, the sciences, geography, history, up to what would be GCSE level in the UK. Trained and served as a fighter pilot in the Mandalorian Wars - is also qualified to pilot transport ships, and to work as a footsoldier on the ground. Received further training from the Sith in combat (with guns, fists, or a sword), stealth, computer hacking, chemistry, engineering and mechanics, medicine and acting. Worked as an assassin hunting Jedi, leader of a small squad. Has since then worked as a mercenary, a thief, a con-man, a smuggler, and so on. Has received training as a Jedi, equivalent to Jedi Sentinel, being balanced in the usage of a lightsaber and a sword. Experience working as a member of the Jedi Council. Has experience working in other worlds: Worked as a blacksmith in Arcadia, and has done outlaw work in Nottingham.

Rae Seddon, age 25

-has nine years experience as Head Baker of Charlie's Coffeehouse in Old Town, New Arcadia. Is well-established as a versatile baker of quality breads and desserts, as well as other vegetarian fare. Many of her own recipes have gained status as the coffeehouse's best sellers, such as Bitter Chocolate Death, Killer Zebras and her Cinnamon Rolls-As-Big-As-Your-Head

-has the ability to transmute things, including worked metal, into other things.

-can assist in psychic globenet ~~internet~~ reconnaissance through cosmail ~~email~~, especially if the cosmail in question was sent by a vampire.

-can allow a vampire to walk unscathed (neither burnt, damaged or revealed) through sunlight if she keeps in physical contact with him or her.

-is able to destroy vampires who are affected by sunlight with her hands.

-is able to be very flexible as to scheduling hours, though would prefer not to have to work night shifts.

If Jasper had to be completely honest on a resume, he'd have to list his military experience as a Major in the Confederate Army from 1861 to 1863.

And seeing as the year is now 2005 for him, the people hiring would probably think he wasn't serious and/or crazy and wouldn't get the job.

Not to mention the whole vampire thing. /sadface!

Zevran's resume for Crow candidacy was being a scrawny, orphaned, 7-year old elf child on the slave market and then surviving years of beatings, physical and psychological torture, and "attempts to weed out those lacking in potential", so not a lot of recommendation there.

His resume as it stands now would simply read, "Antivan Crow, Class First. I like to kill people for fun and profit. Oh, and have sex with them. Before I kill them, naturally; my standards may be low, but I do have them."

That's all that would be necessary, really, especially in Antiva itself. If you're a Crow, that you enjoy your job probably goes without saying, and Zevran certainly enjoys his (and while it doesn't take special talent to be good at killing people, it takes a special mind to like it, especially as much as he does). The title implies a thorough knowledge of social graces, the ability to blend into any social situation, the knowledge of what killing method to use when, being able to appreciate (or discuss as if you appreciated) music and wine, and so on.

One could, however, certainly expect him to fill up the rest of the page with rather lurid and unnecessary descriptions of his success as a master of seduction and his most notable kills to date. You know, to give it some body.

He also might well draw stick figures in the margins, with motion-indicative arrows, to illustrate some of the more complex positions, including the almost-forgotten Antivan Cake-Walk (which costs 5 gold for materials and clean-up fees, or you may provide your own supplies and services, see recommendations for reasonable and discreet providers on the following page).

Edited 2010-02-23 17:43 (UTC)

He would also "honestly forget" to mention that time he fell out of a window, had all of his clothes stolen while he was unconscious, and had to go back to the Guild House naked.

That's still honesty, right?

Most of mine would be so confused by the idea of a resume and I think wouldn't be that honest. Its almost break, I just need to make it through this week and pass my programming midterm tomorrow. Though I'm not going to my discussion section since I have no idea what we're doing and I have other work I need to do.

Will would be very proud of being Robin's squire and point out that he's one of the best thieves in Nottingham. Also he knows how to use guns from a couple of modern eras.

Sameth on the other hand wouldn't be sure what to include since he's not sure which things he's meant to be good at. So it would start with his schooling at Somersby then mention his training in Belisaere and also talk about how he can make things.

Jane would spend all of her resume discussing her writing, she can do lots of other things that are considered ladylike and also some housekeeping. She just doesn't care about that stuff.

Demeter would happily tell someone how she helps things grow and ask the interviewer probing questions about their lovelife.

Tumnus on the other hand would spend all his time discussing that fact that he's a royal advisor with a slight mention of his baking skills.

The Pirate King would go on and on about how glorious he is and his ship and exploits at sea.

I FEEL LIKE THE PIRATE KING SHOULD SUBMIT HIS RESUME EVERYWHERE.

Possibly in epic song. Like, podcast style.

(In many ways, "Modern Major General" [or whatevs the official title is] is totally said major-general's resume!)

*snerks* Oh yes, but it would have to be a video not a podcast since he has such amazing dance moves through the rigging.

Hee, I agree on the major general and I'm not sure what its official title is, I always forget them.

TRUTH. He could also get, like, a master's in being AWESOME. And then go around being a Master of Awesome!

...now I want to do that. Or even just get a plain MA so i could tell people I did that. No, TL, resolution! You will not give up your plans to get an MBA for the sake of awesome initials!

*snerks*

Let's see, I'm currently working on getting an MSI with an LIS specialization from SI at UM.

Initials are fun to play around with and I'm getting things done today. I feel useful and soon I will have a break.

MBA = Master's of BadAss, I think, with creative capitalization

Iii don't know about MSI with an LIS specialization. HMM. Master's of Serious Intrigue with a specialization in Look-It's-a-Shark!? From Shady and Inconspicuous at Unseen Mansions.

:P

What about an MLS at the SLIS of IUB?

Master of Lares and Snares at the Sinister Laboratory for Investigative Sciences of Important Undercover Business. :D?

(with help from my roommate who is not Karin)

*APPROVES OF THIS MIGHTILY*

There is no such thing as an official title to a G&S song—see my reply to the parent comment.

G&S songs don't have official titles. They're "titled" in the libretti by their first lines. So, the closest it has to a title is "I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General", though it is sometimes referred to as "The Major-General's Song".

Thanks!

Aah, Steph, what is your email? I seem to have lost it, LJ bounces the livejournal.com one and my brother is suddenly shy about asking since it's a DE idea. XD *pats him*

Uh. Kaworu burned down the entirety of Babylon and its tower? :D

He helped raise only two children in his entire life (which started before the Big Bang, OH EVA the conclusions you give us) but both became great and influential. Both also happen to be messiahs.

He punches Shinji in the face a lot. How does that rank?

Okay, um, if Legolas was ever to work for someone who wasn't his dad? I will give a brief list of things without actually going into resume style because SCARRED I AM SCARRED (i just rewrote mine two weeks ago. eeeeeew.).

Skills
*Hunting
*Tracking
*Boating
*Languages
Westron
As spoken in Bree, Dale, Rohan, and Gondor
Some of the old Rhovanion dialect
Some of the Dunlander dialect
Sindarin
East and West dialects
Silvan
Greenwood dialect only
Quenya [not fluent]
*Archery
*Scouting
*Diplomacy
*Wine-tasting
*Contract negotiation
*Running messages

I...think that's it. For right now.

--

Finn! Finn's resume would say something along the lines of "I have drawn for a really long time. Here are some examples" and then be stapled to a folder of pictures. He would have no concept of sending in a resume for killing people.

--

Iiii have no idea for my other characters. :D?

I could see Cathy putting together a performance portfolio that would be a video of her being awesome with Trowa. Trowa would not want to help but she'd convince him because she's just that good.

Also I could see Mitt grumbling a lot and saying something like more than you do.

Hahahaha, re: Mitt. He would be like "LAZY BASTARDS." Everyone: you probably shouldn't put that on your resume. Mitt: D:

(In short, being honest and non-Mitt-voiced:
*Bomb-making
*Gun-making
*Fishing
*Carrying secret messages
*Being a revolutionary
*Selling fish
*Staying alive
And eventually!!
*Reading
*Writing
*Schmoozing
*Avoiding attempts to be talked into killing people
*Killing people D:
*Leading battles
*Building roads
*Coming up with awesome ideas
*Implementing awesome ideas
*Installing a saner form of government
*Being king)

I...I doubt Trowa would be actively resistant. But I also bet he wouldn't see the point! But, yes, Cathy would totally be like "see, I'm AWESOME" :D!!! Unfortunately...she has no reason to ever want to switch circuses. But if she did! (And she might make one just for bragging rights)

Bragging rights are fun and oh Mitt, he's just so grumpy.

You are correct in this assessment. *laughing*

Trowa: What's the goal of this?
Cathy: FUN! :D
Trowa: No, but who's the intended audience, and what effect are you intending to convey? What about if people who aren't the intended audience see it? What's the underlying strate--
Cathy: BEING AWESOME, Trowa! :D!!!
Trowa: ~~My sister is so weird~~ *impassive*
Cathy: Shush and help me set up the tightrope, doofus!

*laughing a lot*

GUESS WHAT TROWA. YOU GET TO BE AWESOME TOO.

(Trowa: *does not highly value awesome*)

Jack Green.
Beginning of time - present: Tree god. Makes things grow. Causes rain. Very involved with apples. Responsible for: springtime, birth (flora, fauna and human), growing season. Also draws.

Ianto would mostly go on about the coffee.

You forgot tasering people in the face like a BAMF.

I had that! And then I thought, no, that doesn't belong on a resume, even the most honest one.

Nikola Tesla.

-Invented the 20th century.

Hahaha completely honest. *eyes roster* Magical handwavy truth serum ahoy!

Trowa: "Employment history: 195-present, A. Circus."

"Skills: Mobile suit pilot, approximately ten years combat experience. Gundam pilot. Licensed* to drive car, truck, motorcycle, plane, shuttle. Infiltration. Marksmanship with pistol and rifle. Undercover work. Computer security and reprogramming..." This continues for about half a page, detouring into languages spoken and acrobatic skills.

*These licenses exist now! They did not for most of the years he was blithely operating any heavy machinery whose pedals he was tall enough to reach.

I cannot even imagine River's resume. Regan has a pretty typical one! Well, for a businessperson/politician's wife, so it's fairly low on the technical employment after a certain age.

Piotr's is very, uh, haphazard. If you edit out all the X-Man stuff -- although that'd be a slightly outdated thing to do -- it makes him look like way more of a teacher than he is, with a scattering of very random jobs and no college education except art classes.

Lan's... uh. I will have to come back to this one. He is pretty used to "Lan Mandragoran, Warder" summing up all you would ever need to know. Either that, or just Big Looming Guy With A Sword. But he has a very eclectic skill set!

More later; today at work has been busy enough that writing this took most of the day. But I am amused by the idea of writing Edel's. (Hawkeye: also eclectic! Skills: guns, sniping, paperwork, eyerolling at superior officers.)

Since I came up with this idea while talking about Wellard in chat the other night.... *shifty eyes* (And ARGH, I am doing my best to phrase these- both in how they should be phrased, and how Wellard would phrase them, so.)

Skills of H. M. Wellard~
~Skilled in the arts of sailing (please see attached note for details thereof) due to 3 years+ in the British Navy
~Educated in Mathematics, proficient in calculus, skilled in navigation with either sextant or astrolabe
~Exceedingly skilled in Astronomy
~Proficient in French
~Able to read Latin
~Knowledgeable in the technological sciences, including electricity and engines
~Some experience in black-powder demolitions

~Experienced in the arts of Piracy, including but not limited to
~Bluffing/Negotiation
~Hijacking ships
~Destroying/sinking ships
~Sorting and rough estimation on the value of cargo

~Experience in detecting madness in ~~people~~ humans
~Ability to detect the Dark
~Some skills in card games
~Some ability in solving logic puzzles
~Some experience in keeping to an alias in odd situations (visiting other worlds/times)

ETA: Forgot some!

Edited 2010-02-23 21:27 (UTC)

Oh Wellard, these are wonderful and I love the careful explanation of his piracy.

*ggls, waves hands about* I love how he breaks that down, yes.

And I'm realizing I totally forgot anything to do with fighting- which he learned more so at Milliways here. But still. (Though he did pick up some in the navy, so it could fall under sailing- and certainly could fall under piracy!)

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