Il Buono, il Brutto, il Pazzo (The Good, the Bad, and the Mental)

[joewithnoname.livejournal.com]

I wasn't getting of the work I should have been doing done anyway so I decided to work on the summary of the Emergency Potato thread.



The following contains 100% artificial Continuity, introduced during the summary production proccess.

It begins. Joe discovers a potato in a glass case marked "IN CASE OF EMERGENCY." This does not fail to attract attention, first from Charlie,, who asks the question on everyone's mind. Joe is the first but not the last to float the Irish theory. The topic changes to the bar and Joe is grumpy about being Bound. The topic changes to Johnny Cash and, more broadly, rock stars. Charlie is philosophical about losing his fame. He sings Man in Black (and Joe is cynical) and You are my Sunshine. (and Joe is paranoid.) Joe doesn't trust the bar. Charlie does trust the bar. Theyfail to agree on this. Charlie leaves but he'll be back later in the thread.

Snow is friendly, but soon gets sucked into the potato question. Joe and Snow discuss Bruce and Snow is wary of Lecter. Joe is familiar with people like Lecter (or so he thinks!). He memorizes Lecter's face, for future plottage. He also expresses manly affection of a somewhat chilly nature and they reflect on Bruce's relative safety in the Bar. The topic changes to Snow's life and politics come up. Joe is cynical, Snow is frustrated, Joe is cynical, Snow is responsible and Joe is STILL cynical. Joe approves of a jail.

Then, in another thread, Joe and Bruce have a conversation about magic and school and being a detective. Raph comes up. Bruce is unhappy. Joe is noncomittal and advocates repressing emotions. Harmful gender roles are promulgated. Also, Lecter is dissed and Joe learns a new word. It's funny because I consciously decided the other day not to use OK in Joe's speech because it only originated around his time.

Back at the potato, the Roughnecks arrive. They talk about women and fighting women. Whiskey is consumed. Joe consider violating causality. Shipwreck talks about many of these songs being old folk songs with no known author and Joe starts lying but sadly missteps and is busted. Clint Eastwood and John Wayne are somehow mentioned without canon-puncturing, as is The Ponderosa. Joe may have already committed causality violation. Shipwreck is blase about being deleted from history.

In another timeline, Shipwreck and Spike talk about girls and getting one's balls shot off.

Now, the moment you've all been waiting for. Anthy. Anthy is not phased by Emergency Potatos. Joe has a question. Anthy is massively unhelpful in a variety of ways. Oh so very unhelpful.

THEN. It comes up that Joe does not believe in vampire roses. The rose on Anthy's wrist objects. Then there is a classic Western moment truly worthy of Joe's theme music.

Doodle doodle oooo: The rose rears up! Close up of the petals.

Doom doom dooom: Joe is horrified. Close up of the eyes darting to the potato.

Doodle doodle oo: Anthy is oblivious. Close up of the vacant eyes.

Whaa whaa whaa: The vines begin to creep towards Joe.

Doodle doodle oo: Close up of his eyes, tense. Close up of the rose, mean.

Whaa whaa WHAAAAA: Joe's hand begins to creep towards the potato.

Crazy drums crescendo!!! They draw!!! There is a siren when Joe smashes the glass. Paul the evil rose belly-dances. Joe stands his ground. Bigby gets involved. Joe gets his gun out. Anthy is looking down the barrel The potato is totally ineffective. Things are tense. Bigby intervenes and Joe is temporarily broken.. Bigby comes and asks if Joe is.... "OK?" Joe is a little random. Charlie goes to get Moiraine who is helpful. A lot of questions are asked, nothing particularly important is said, people are just generally filled in on the plot. Charlie is very kind. Moiraine doesn't like Anthy. Bigby pumps Moiraine for information about Anthy. Joe misplaces the gun and his mun GOES TO BED and DIES. Bigby and Moiraine have a long conversation about Anthy while I do this. It's linked above under "pumps Moiraine."

Things that happened in other threads: Moiraine gives the gun to the bar and Anthy is interrogated. Also, Chuchu fetches Meg somewhere or another. These threads are all interesting but don't involve me and this is VERY VERY LONG.

--John

Comments

[anthy-rosebride.livejournal.com]

Doodle doodle oooo. Oh my god. *weeps with laughter*

[joewithnoname.livejournal.com]

Have you seen The Good, the Bad and the Ugly? Or, for that matter, any parodic use of the classic "close-up of the eyes" TGTB&TU style showdown? That was the best approximation of the music I could work out.

--John

[anthy-rosebride.livejournal.com]

I have vague, osmotic memories.

The Good, the Bad, and the Batshit Insane. Oh lord.

[joewithnoname.livejournal.com]

New Joe icon!

*wishes for a gif creator*

--John

[anthy-rosebride.livejournal.com]

If I still had Photoshop, I would make one. And Emergency Potato icons. And evil vampire rose icons. *pines for Photoshop*

[joewithnoname.livejournal.com]

Can I steal an Anthy icon for the animated gif (which obviously I will share once Charlie makes it)?

--John

[anthy-rosebride.livejournal.com]

Sure! Let me know if you want more selection; I make Utena icons for fun, so I have shitloads.

[joewithnoname.livejournal.com]

I think classic purple long-necked Anthy is the most recognizable.

--John

[bloodyrockgod]

If you'll send me the pics you want I can make you one. minorblue(at)gmail(dot)com.

Charlie has many hidden talents ;).

[joewithnoname.livejournal.com]

Yay! I will gather them together. Do you mind putting text on the images, too? If I do it will look like crap, as you can see.

--John

[bloodyrockgod]

No problem at all. In the Italian, I assume?

[joewithnoname.livejournal.com]

Yes. I am torn as to whether there should be a final panel with a translation or not.

[bloodyrockgod]

Could also do translations on the same panel in small text. I can make a couple versions.

[joewithnoname.livejournal.com]

Hmm. On the same panel does sound good. I'm totally indecisive.

Email sent, btw. Thanks so much.

Use your discretion on fonts... there's no particularly Western-y fonts, I don't think.

--John

[bloodyrockgod]

I am entirely too excited about the prospect of finding Western-style fonts. Hee.

[anthy-rosebride.livejournal.com]

Maybe the ones used in typical "WANTED" posters?

[bloodyrockgod]

Yeah, something like that--I also looked for posters for 'The Good the Bad and the Ugly' but the font's not anything special, as far as I can tell. I have one in mind . . . I may experiment.

<--font freak ;)

[joewithnoname.livejournal.com]

I have that one! The one difficulty is it is really really narrow so the font size has to be pretty big to be legible... makes it good for posters, not as good for icons.

Someday I will find a reason for Joe to post a WANTED poster in Milliways.

[anthy-rosebride.livejournal.com]

He'd have one already if Anthy had escaped. *woe*

[joewithnoname.livejournal.com]

Yes! Anthy should get arrested again, escape, and hide in the woods. Then Meg and Joe can track her.

Oh wait, I want to graduate which means actually writing my thesis. Goddamnit.

--John

[blue_ajah]

Yeah, there is that sort of thing to interfere with RP fun, now isn't there?

*sighs heavily, goes back to exam, which is almost done yay!*

[anthy-rosebride.livejournal.com]

Woe! It would make such an awesome Western. *mourns*

[joewithnoname.livejournal.com]

Aha! I found it in midi format on the web.

http://www.coolmidi.250x.com/midi/movie_themes/the_good_the_bad_and_the_ugly.mid

It's like that, only less electronic. I left out the long mournful horn note you get at the end where only one man/flower is left standing.

Hmm... need to change the title of this summary, I think.
--John

[anthy-rosebride.livejournal.com]

It will not let me downloadinate. Sorrow!

But I know I've heard the music before. And your text version is very evocative. :D

[stbethadettes]

*agrees!*

I could hear the music.

[locks_it_up]

My God, you rock.

[joewithnoname.livejournal.com]

Aw, shucks. *embarassed.*

[hooper-x.livejournal.com]

"Shipwreck is blase about being deleted from history."

That may be my favorite anything ever now.

And the use of pseudo-music in the summary is the tits, sir. My congrats.

-HX

[joewithnoname.livejournal.com]

I was really amazed at how much like a Western it played it out. Eyes darting around, hands (vines) slowly creeping, then the sudden quick draw. All the basic tropes.

Except, you know, with a potato.

--John

[granny-esme.livejournal.com]

I love you.

<3

Juliet/Incase/Ness, OT3! Yay! And Elrond Anagram!!

[theravenboy]

*stares*

[minkhollow]

I was highly amused by this whole thing, as you may have guessed.
And I still say the emergency's when you're out of vodka.

[fairest1.livejournal.com]

A bit late, but I'm cheering you on for teh crack regardless.