DE: Opps

[bjornwilde]

boston_bruiser  declares:

Fourth wall breakdown!

[Also, if you have any ideas for DEs, feel free to leave them here.]

Comments

[bjornwilde]

I need more coffee for this...

Also, Turtle muns, check out this nice redesign of the turtles.

[bjornwilde]

"Okay, now I'm ready for this," says the forty something guy in the black and grey bowling shirt.

[bbq_platypus]

A young man in his mid-20s with slightly curly hair and sideburns walks through the door. He is dressed in a plaid short-sleeved shirt. And he is singing.

"-so they bring their scales and check the deal
'cause they're scared that I might ch-"

"Oh, hey, this place."

He walks over to the bar and slaps a five dollar bill on the counter. "This should be enough for a pint of Surly, wouldn't you say?"

A tall mug appears on the counter. He smiles, takes a long sip, and sits down.

[bjornwilde]

"What's 'Surly'?" asks a tall, forty-ish guy with slight wavy but mostly straight auburnish hair.

[minkhollow]

"What, can these things not happen when I'm in Connecticut or something?"
There's a twentysomething girl in the doorway (brown hair, in a fresh braid today; white scoop-neck shirt; gray cargo pants; flip-flops), but she's not there for long before heading for a table.
"Not that I'm turning down a breather before the services, but still."

(For those who hadn't heard: My grandfather's memorial services - not sure I can call it a funeral - are in about an hour. I'm doing okay and mainly glad he's not suffering anymore, but I don't know how much I'll be able to tag into this. HOWEVER, didn't want to miss it!)

[saphyria]

(I'm sorry for your loss, but I'm glad your grandfather's not hurting any more. <33)

"It's probably written down somewhere that this place has to be unexpected and somewhat inconvenient, but not necessarily unpleasant in its arrival," says another twenty-something woman wearing business casual. Her brown hair is curly and still slightly damp, and her glasses are purple.

[saphyria]

There's a twenty-something woman with curly brown hair and wearing business casual, sitting at the bar with a computer, answering emails. So what if she's muttering to herself?

"No, we can't do your research for you, but we can show you how to use an online database.... Here's a link to the photographs we have of that historic hotel... No, we can't tell you the history of that particular neighborhood off the top of our heads... Yes, we'd love to have a copy of your great-great grandmother's Civil War journal... Yes, thank you, we've added you to our mailing list... Here's the contact info for the local group of researchers-for-hire... Yes, we're open every Monday through Saturday from... Sorry, those records are currently only available on microfilm..."

It's pretty much endless.

Thankfully, there is a napkin from the bar.

"Yes, thank you, I'd love a drink." Tiiiiime to take a break.

[bjornwilde]

"I'm going to go out on a limb here," says a forty something guy in a black-and-grey bowling shirt and black slacks, "and guess that you work in a library of some sort?"

[ceitfianna]

A thirty something woman with brown hair and a tired look gets some tea and then sits down while bouncing slightly and coughing,

"I just found out that I got offered the school librarian job in Michigan1"

[misslucyjane]

The fortysomething blond squeaks and hugs her. "Congratulations!"

[camwyn]

"I'm awake, I'm at work, and if the fourth wall is down I want a goddamn lightsaber."

Because lightsaber. Come on.

"So! Who wants to deal with the scientist chimp first when she comes along?"

[agoodmusekickin]

"Not it!," says the brunette in glasses as she touches her nose.

[bcgphoenix]

A woman with glasses and a brown, curly ponytail marches in. She's holding a pair of wrist guards at arm's length, nose wrinkled.

(Her t-shirt today is bright yellow and pictures a cartoon artichoke saying, "Okey dokey!")

"You've got an industrial-strength deodorizer around here somewhere that won't dissolve leather, right?" she asks, a bit plaintive.

[silveraspen]

"Given your work, if you don't know where something like that is, I don't hold out much hope."

The voice comes from behind a tall stack of project files and books.

[leeshajoy]

A thirty-year-old bespectacled redhead, still in her zebra-print pajamas, sags into a nearby chair.

"How long," she says to no one in particular, "can you go on blaming the heat for your lack of roleplaying energy before you admit you're just in a rut?"

[pfsb_cam]

"I don't suppose I could help?" says the chimp in the lab coat and neatly pressed trousers. "Repetition and inability to come up with anything particularly new is... well, it's something we have experience with, for whatever that's worth."

[misslucyjane]

A fortysomething blond, still in her PJs, enters with a netbook under her arm.

"...oh, my. It's been a while."

First, coffee, and then she curls up (carefully) in one of the comfy chairs by the fire and opens the netbook.

[silveraspen]

There's the sound of a muffled curse, then of paper being shuffled through.

"That's it. I need more tea for this."

[agoodmusekickin]

Bing is seated at her workstation. To her left is what appears to be the beginning of a knitting project. To her right a Kindle Fire currently playing an mp4 of the two hour Avatar: The Last Airbender series finale.

When she finally does look up from her monitor, she just sort of gawks. There used to be a wall there. A fourth wall. She's sure of it.

"....oh crap."

[saphyria]

The curiosity of a fellow knitter is almost palpable.

"Whaaaatcha maaakin'?" asks an archivist, peering inquisitively.

[crazyfurries]

Fuzzy is just coming in with a plate of a late breakfast (parmesan peppercorn bread makes a fabulous savory french toast) and singing for the first time in what feels like months.

"A stitch-stitch-stitch went the witch-witch-witch, for to pay pimp Vader to scratch and itch-itch-itch~ A Corrrrrset and haaaaandcuffs for the bondage party at 9 pm, a corrrrrset and haaaandcuffs for the bondage party at 9pm!"

[bjornwilde]

"You know, if the fourth wall is broken, I wonder if this will work?" ponders the aforementioned tall, forty something guy while walking over to a wall (not the fourth) and begins climbing it like Spider-man. "Awesome!"

[crazyfurries]

"Heeeee."

The beanied hoodie young woman is grinning and eyeing both the wall and the forty-something.

"Oh! Watch your mailbox. Mwahahahha."

[chanter1944]

"Shard it," says the twenty-something girl in the doorway - denim skirt, lavender top, waist-length dark hair - as she realizes what's replaced her hallway. "... Eh, this beats the meeting I was going to. Sorry, Elizabeth."

[bjornwilde]

"'Shard it'? A fellow fan of Pern?" Asks a tall forty something guy with a glass of water.

[silveraspen]

"... I'm pretty sure the analysis program isn't supposed to do that."

The dark-haired, brown-eyed woman in the navy dress suit eyes the computer suspiciously, then gives the rest of the room the same searching glance before breaking into a delighted grin.

"Then again, I'll probably get more done here than I would there today."

[agoodmusekickin]

"I want you to know," says the brunette in glasses. "That I've been over there pondering which of my boys to send in your direction for shameless flirting."

Bing jerks a thumb to a far corner of the room where Mike, Splinter, Aang, Bumi, and Raph are all seated around a table playing Uno.

[agonistes]

There is a sign on the table:

Sorry, I'd be here, but I'm off in Wyoming finding beer and poking rocks.

Enjoy some Dr. Stringz in my absence.

[skidmo]

The bar's count of women with laptops just went up one. This one thirty with red hair and glasses, wearing a bleach-stained Flogging Molly t-shirt and plaid shorts.

"Oh, hey. This is new. Maybe I can put of driving to Montana now. That's how this place works, right?"

[saphyria]

The the brunette in glasses and business casual looks over from her computer and glass of muscadine juice.

"That is totally how it works."

[themightyspazz]

In a corner booth, there's a reasonably athletic 19-year old kid in a UC DAVIS AGGIES hoodie, laptop propped up on his lap and feet propped up on the table.

He's flanked on his left by a familiar-looking SEAL and on his right by a familiar-looking cowboy.

[agoodmusekickin]

"So I hear we have you to thank for, well this," says the brunette lady in glasses wearing the Ninja Turtle t-shirt. Her gesture vaguely indicates the room at large.

[varadia]

A woman with brown hair, glasses, and a lab coat makes her way into the bar, pausing to take off some beautifully dirty purple nitrile gloves before snagging a coffee from the bar and sitting down.

"If I never have to do data workup again . . . "

Signs point to the follow-up being 'it will still be too soon'.

[agoodmusekickin]

"LADYFACE!" calls Bing from the table where Splinter, Raph, Mike, Aang, and Bumi play Uno.

"Look! I've got a full house!"

The four men at the table all groan.

"If I gnaw off my own legs, do you think I can get outta this?" asks Raph.
"Shia Lebeouf!" says Mike.

[the_man]

"I want everyone to know that the official S.H.I.E.L.D. statement is that this never happened.

"Put that fourth wall back up right now and we won't have to deal with any demerits going on your file."

[leeshajoy]

"Uh, I didn't work for you last time I checked," says the thirty-year-old bespectacled redhead fiddling around on a last-generation iPad. "And even if I did, it's my day off, so yeah, go fuck yourself."

[mmswanky]

There's a dorky, dark-haired, very petite female form sitting with her face planted on the table.

"Oh god, why," she can be heard whining softly and perhaps a little miserably, "why are you in my head. WHYYYYYY.."


At the same table sits a lanky blond firefighter, the name Gavin stitched on his blue work shirt, smoking and playing solitaire and not really giving a shit. "Don't blame me, honey, I ain't the one who marathoned seven goddamn seasons of that goddamn TV show. Seriously, when you watch that shit? The way you start cryin' one second and start laughing the next second and start callin' me an asshole after that? Christ, it's like you're voluntarily PMS'ing at 40-minute intervals, over and over and over again."

Another firefighter joins him. This one is portly and mustached, with the name 'Lt. Shea' stitched over his shirt pocket. He folds his hands demurely. "Notice how she's not complaining about having me in her head."

"Shaddap."

[saphyria]

"It only gets worse with time, I'm afraid," Saph says sympathetically, sneaking the girl a cinnamon roll she'd snuck from Sunshine earlier. It's... very obviously a Sunshine cinnamon roll.

[ladyiapetus]

Another booth is occupied by a brown-haired, glasses-wearing young woman. She also has a laptop but it's closed in favor of her Nook which is currently devoted to Angry Birds.

[gypsyjr]

Over near the fireplace, there's a youngish woman curled up on the sofa, listening to MP3s and drawing in a sketchbook.

[sdelmonte]

After a long day, the above pictured man galumphs in and plops down at a table, and orders an iced tea.

[withherhands]

A short, plump woman with short brown hair and glasses walks in, carrying a messenger bag and a tote bag.

She stands there, looking around for a moment, noting the late hour.

"Oh mother--!"

(Conveniently the universal translator fails to translate the last half of that word.)