Weekend Entertainment

[nocarename]

I've seen this once or twice in other places.

Take a famous quote, give it a few nips and tucks, and put it in the mouth of a different character. Your pup, someone else's, whatever.

Have the best example I could loot this morning:
"Hello. My name is Luke Skywalker. You killed my father. Prepare to die!"

And now I need to go finish waking up.

Comments

[mogget_cat]

"Helloooo, Milliways! Who takes the fireside couch, takes the universe.. But, bad news everyone, 'cause guess who? Ha! Listen, you lot you're all being loud. It's really very distracting. Could you all just stay quiet a minute because I. AM. NAPPING!

Now the question of the hour is, "Who's got the couch?" Answer: I do. Next question: Who's coming to take it from me? Come on! Look at me! Just soft fur, sleepy eyes, no weapons! Oh, and something else I don't have: Anything to lose! So! If you're sitting over there at your uncomfortable little tables with all your silly little drinks and you've got any plans on taking the couch tonight, just remember who's standing in your way! Remember every black day I ever napped on you instead, and then, and then... do the smart thing: Let somebody else try first.



...Because you aren't even that comfortable to nap on, to be honest."

[misslucyjane]

That. Is. Brilliant.

[mogget_cat]

^_^! Thank you!

[nocarename]

I'll be honest. I saw a tiny, possibly animated*, Yrael with a karaoke microphone giving the whole speech.



*A cat with a microphone looks slightly less silly when animated.

[damncompass]

Beam me up, Rheticus!

(Totally coming up with more later, but I had to get the most obvious.)

[tesla_bot]

"How would it benefit NASA? I'm sure Mr. Bolden will ask."

"The only benefit to NASA would be our gratitude."

"That is what you want me to tell him?"

"Yes. And please add that, if he is unable to provide us with a ship, then I am sure there are others in the manned spaceflight community who would be willing to help me. And then... *they* would have our gratitude."

[katyafeline]

This is the people's war! It is our war! We are the fighters! Fight it, then! Fight it with all that is in us, and may Light defend the right.

[melomancer]

Are you talking to me? Are you talking to me? Then who else are you talking to...Are you talking to me? You must be talking to me cause I don't see any other Nightwatch here.

[katyafeline]

Now there needs to be fic where Anton actually tries this line out on somebody. Katya may die laughing. :D

[melomancer]

I'll have to see what I can do. I can easily see the whole team rolling their eyes. I also feel it should involve an American tourist.

[ever_lovin]

"Now gimme back my wallet."
"Which one is it?"
"It's the one what says 'Clobberin' Time' on it."

[thenewblack]

So the glowing briefcase has something from Reed's lab then?

[bjornwilde]

And now my mind is making a Pulp Fiction/Fantastic Four mashup. Reed is Marcellus Wallace, Ben and Johnny are Jules and Vincent, Susan is Uma Thurman's character, naturally. Doom is Bruce Willis and the guys who kidnap him and Marcellus are Celestials or maybe Galactus and his herald...this works too well.

[biggerstingers]

All part of the service.
^_^

[masterofgunfu]

I looked forward to meeting interesting and stimulating monsters from ancient cultures... and killing them.

[biggerstingers]

You may find a number of these useful if you didn't know them already.
The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries*




*As of the Great Retcon of 2011 that is. Mumble, mumble cease and desist orders

[bjornwilde]

These are awesome!

Because I have problems. Severe problems.

[mnt_raph]

Watson: Nice night.

Holmes: Mm-hm. Delivery has thirty seconds.

Watson: Mm-hm. Sherlock, have you ever thought about what Mrs. Hudson said tonight? I mean about what it would be like... You know, not having her?

Holmes: Hmm... Time's up, three quid off!

Delivery Man: [searching for Sherlock's address] OK, 221... 221b? 221b. Terrific. Where the heck is 221b?

Holmes: [through an open window] You're standing below it. Just pass it up here!

[the Delivery Man passes the paper bag up into the opened window and 10 pound note is passed down.]

Delivery Man: Gimme that!... Hey, this is a 10! The tab's 13!

Holmes: You are two minutes late.

Delivery Man: Oh, come on, I couldn't find the place!

Holmes: I believe it was Cicero who said "Forgiveness is divine, but never pay pull price for late delivery."

Delivery Man: [walks away] I gotta get a new route. And I thought I delivered everywhere...

[biggerstingers]

Mr. Stark, we're Avengers. Weird is part of the job.

[student_of_impossibility]

Varg: "Laral. Only one demon captain has survived a two year stalemate against sixty thousand of our people. He is before you. Extermination surrounds you. If you value your lives, give him what he wants."

Sadly, this is mostly a truncation of a canon speech. Might do others later.

[mighty_avenger]

"I feel the need... the need for SPEED."

No modifications necessary. XD

[lady_mary]

And from the same film, things Lady Mary would not say...

"Matthew, you big stud, take me to bed or lose me forever!"

[alexiscartwheel]

Conclusion? I know too many lines from Top Gun.

[nocarename]

Could be worse.
All of mine were from Star Trek shows.


I kind of wish I could manage to make something work with a Garak line though, but it's just not coming.

[gavin62truck]

"You think Gondor needs a king? Yeah, well, I got news for ya-- Gondor don't need no goddamn king, okay? So you can all kiss my skinny white Númenórean ass."

[a1enzo]

All I can think of right now is:

"Aren't you a little tall for a viral binome?"
"Huh? Oh, the uniform. I'm Enzo Matrix, I'm here to rescue you!"

No, I have no idea who he's talking to, or how in heck that disguise worked.

[aaaaaaaagh_sky]

"Don't play games with me, mister! You just killed someone I was very fond of, and that is not a safe place to stand! I'm the kid from Vault 101, we're within range of the Washington Monument, and you're standing next to a working radio. Turn it on."

[el_enmascarado_de_plata]

"¿Mande, Señor? What does God need with a starship?"


.... look, in his canon, there is a very real possibility this question might come up.

[acts_of_gord]

Gordon's already done this, actually; he took a famous German political quote from the 1980s (delivered by Joschka Fischer, a Green Party member of the Bundestag, to the parliamentary VP) and redirected it at Dr. Breen in the Citadel:

"Mit Verlaub, Herr Doktor Überwacher, Sie sind ein Arschloch."

Fischer's version used 'Herr Prasident', but you get the idea.

[gone_byebye]

"Hi there, sir. We're the Ghostbusters. Why don't you take a seat over there, and you can explain to us why you have all these documents about summoning unspeakable horrors..."

[hecu_marine]

"They are in front of us, behind us, and we are flanked on both sides by an enemy that outnumbers us twenty-nine to fuckin' one. Shit, ain't no way those assfuckers gon' git away from us now!"

Alternatively, I'm pretty sure Shephard would do just fine with Tommy Lee Jones' line from Captain America: The First Avenger.

"Cut off one head, two more shall- ACKGH!"
"Let's go find two more!" (heads off down the hall cackling)

[igetthatalot]

The keywords for this icon are 'say hello', because in game, Varric does in fact at least once announce 'Say hello to my little friend' before opening fire with the automatic, bayonet-bearing crossbow in question. So, yeah.

[aintwortha]

[Anyone else, pretty much]: Was I supposed to understand any of that?

Bean: Oh, no sir, I just wanted you to know how hard it wasn't.

[pattersongs]

If songs count, Mordin canonically did this. I am the very model of a scientist salarian, I've studied species turian, asari and batarian...

[1nv1nc1ble]

"Listen, and understand. Viltrum is out there. They can't be bargained with. They can't be reasoned with. They don't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And they absolutely will not stop, ever, until Earth is theirs."

(or perhaps)

"There! Evil PURE AND SIMPLE by way of the Planet Viltrum! "