DE: I'm baaack

[bjornwilde]

 First up, a hearty round of applause and internet cookies for Quimby (I think that's right) for doing such a great job with the DEs last week. I know I didn't participate everyday but I sure wanted too. Good show!

Todays topic comes from gavin62truck  and was so good, I'm kicking it to the front of the line.

"Anonymous" advice column! Have your pups tag in with a problem they're having, however serious or mundane (signing with an optional descriptive alias, for example, Angry and Annoyed in NYC). Then tag others with some IC advice!

I would love to turn on anonymous posting for this but alas, I have no clue how to do it and don't think I have the rights anyway.

Comments

[gavin62truck]

Here's my dilemma: I'm still sort of in love with my ex-wife (technically we're separated since she never got the divorce papers together), even though she's having an affair with my brother. But I'm still really attracted to my cousin's widow, with whom I had a thing with not too long ago. And my brother's ex-wife? Holy shit, she's hot. There's also a woman I've been seeing for almost year now, and I really like her, too, but she's not from my world, if you know what I mean.

So, what do you think? How do I make this less complicated without it getting messier than it already is?

Signed,
I Get Around

[timelessinventor]

Complicated's all in your head, darling. There's nothing wrong with having more than one flirtation at once.

It only becomes complicated when people decide that they think exclusivity is important. Nothing wrong with having some fun.

[claudiometer]

And you can't file divorce papers yourself because...?

I think it's safe to say your ex-wife's off the table, especially if she's moved on to your brother. Might as well completely sever the ties, at least as much as you can when she's staying in the family.

[lady_mary]

Rent a villa in Italy. Or France. After a few years on the continent society may be ready to welcome you back, that is, if you can manage to keep your dalliances to a minimum, or at least be discreet about them.

Obviously you can't divorce your wife, but there's no reason she can't live in the country while you live in town, or vice versa.

[whatisastiles]

I have a broody werewolf friend acquaintance frenemy? ally that keeps showing up in the woods, at my school, at parties, in my car, and even in my bedroom, but then he acts like I'm the one being weird and annoying. One time he wanted me to cut off his arm. It was... ugh. *shudder* I've tried standing up to him, but he doesn't seem to find me intimidating. Probably cause I'm me, and he's got this whole leather wearing, artful stubble having, "I'll rip your throat out with my teeth" thing going on.

Anyway, what's his deal? Is this his way of saying we should be friends? Or should I fear for my life (more than I already do)?

xoxoxoxo
Bewildered in Beacon Hills

P.S. How can I tell if I'm attractive to gay guys? Scott was no help, and Danny still won't answer me.

[damncompass]

I'd think that if he hasn't actually come out and hurt you thus far, he doesn't really have ill intentions. It's probably an ass-backwards way of wanting to spend time with you. But then again, this is getting a bit into Edward Cullen territory, and that's creepy.

And... might a suggest a gay bar or other gay hangout? Hell if I know. Haven't had that exact problem before.

[sunbaked_baker]

Dear Bewildered,
You might try thinking of it as a kind of crash-course for werewolf mores. You can't be blamed for thinking his behavior weird and annoying any more than he can be blamed for thinking the same of you. What you both can do is try to approach the... alliance? Friendship? With an open mind.

Even if it's difficult. Well, especially if it's difficult. Because rarely are difficult and awkward alliances endured for less than an important reason.

I don't know how it is in your world, but in mine, if you're kind to a were on the days of a full moon, they'll remember it the other twenty-seven days of the month, too. Stay safe.

[masterofgunfu]

Oh kid, my sympathies. Wolves are the worse when it comes to dominance games.

Hard to say what advice to give without knowing what you want from the relationship. Do you want equal footing? That's going to have to be earned. Dominance? Again, you'll have to play the game and better than him. Being left alone? Well, that's tough as just like dogs, wolves have favorite toys.

[cutting_edgex23]

Pheremones are useful. For determining attraction.

I can tell you.

[death_gone_mad]

A werewolf is no friend frenemy ally. Kill it! It sounds like it wants to die anyway so be nice and kill it quickly.

I can give lessons.

[damncompass]

So I met this girl. Ok, she more tasered me and tied me to a bed, but she was under the influence of something not her fault at the time, but that's beside the point. Anyway, she's perfect. Not perfect in the 'completely without flaws' sense, but she's just literally everything I've ever wanted in someone.

The thing is, I'm freaking myself out about it. She says she loves me, she's being sappy about it (which is, frankly, a bit odd because she's kinda the personification of a strong woman and all that) but she hasn't really had the chance to love anyone in a hell of a long time.

Do I keep going, just taking what I can get, and hope she's not under the influence of something else, or should I just let go, because obviously she's not going want something long-term with me? (did I mention, I'm just a geek? Yeah.) Oh, and more complicated I work with her. I'm kinda her boss. Ish. It's complicated.

Uncertain in Univille

[claudiometer]

You're on your own, son. She'd probably kill me if I gave her a prophylactic goo bath.

Also you're overthinking it. Just go with it.

[herr_bookman]

Wow, congratulations. She sounds fascinating. What's a taser?

All relationships are transient. Enjoy what you have while you can, but don't use that as an excuse to not improve things. Why would you ever 'let go' of someone who's clearly everything you want at this moment?

Besides, she has put up with your insecurity until now--clearly she's getting something out of deigning to spend time with you. Someone recently lambasted me for presuming that I knew what she wanted. So if you really need the reassurance, you might want to talk to your lady rather than an advice column.

Tch.

[whatisastiles]

Is she a hunter? Where I'm from the one's with the tasers are usually hunters and those people are SCARY.

[masterofgunfu]

So there's this cute guy...okay hot guy. Only problem is he's been around the block so many times there's groves in the pavement. Also, being with him would risk everything I've built for myself, not to mention he's part of everything I've worked to get away from. Thing is, he won't leave me alone and I can't stop thinking about him. Can't shot him either. What's a girl to do?

Lost in Loveland.

[herr_bookman]

Really? This is so simple!

Shoot him. Or find someone else equally attractive to you without the residual mess to occupy your thoughts.

Preferably both.

[lady_mary]

It would be incredibly foolish to throw away everything you've worked for all for a pretty face, especially one that is potentially attached to scandal. There are many other eligible men to choose from.

[gavin62truck]

Have you had a one-night-stand with him yet? Do that and get it out of the way. The resulting awkwardness will take care of everything, and at least you'll have had some great sex out of the deal before you move on to someone better.

[sunbaked_baker]

I don't know if this is the right avenue for getting advice on this problem, but here it goes. I have a boyfriend. Let's call him "M." He's wonderful and supportive, and is a good man. I love him dearly and we've been together for years.

However, there's... also someone else. Let's call him "C." This someone is unlike "M" in every way, and our relationship is just about as far as one can get from being socially acceptable. "C" is dangerous, yes, but not to me, and he's the only one I feel I can truly be honest with and notbe afraid of rejection. But what I feel for him doesn't negate or infringe on what I feel for "M". I don't even feel that part of my life as connected to the side of my life I share with my boyfriend, at all. It doesn't feel like cheating.

I can't leave "C" any more than I can leave "M". I'm just afraid if I tell my boyfriend, or if he finds out, I'll lose him. What should I do?

Signed,
Your Cheating Heart

[lady_mary]

No matter how you justify your infidelities to yourself, you'll eventually feel terrible about it. Guilt could end up tearing both relationships apart.

The only way to be fair to yourself, and to M and C, is for you to decide what you want.

[herr_bookman]

What a mess. Whatever you do, don't let them find out about one another. There will be blood.

That is, if you're worth killing over. Which you're probably not? One of them might not actually like you, so you'd better figure that out first. Either way, it'd be an entirely different kind of mess, but at least things would be out in the open.

[justdyedit]

So my best friend just got a new wardrobe and it has me thinking, should I look into a new costume? I've had the same basic one since I started in the superhero biz and while I get the idea of a strong brand, I wonder if it might not be time for a change.

Capeless in Capetown

[biggerstingers]

Oh sweetheart,

There's having a brand and then there's being Steve.
Which isn't to say that Steve isn't good. He's great, but uh, change is not always his strong suit.

Anyway! Have you thought about something low key to start off with? Different fabrics maybe? What, actually, are the defining points of your costume? Do you have any parts that are limited or required by your powers?

Call me!
JvD

[will_scarlett]

There's a lady that I like but tis been too long since I've been close to one. She's brave an beautiful an I dinna know 'ow to ask for more time with 'er without messin' it up.
Wondering

[herr_bookman]

Send her rocks and glue for her shoes.

[1nv1nc1ble]

If a parent spends the whole of your life being a good parent, and then does something totally, horribly, violent to you, does that make them a bad parent? Do you forgive them, even if they did something horrible? How do you forgive them?

[ever_lovin]

I have some experience wit' this, though I ain't gonna claim I know yer situation. I guess it comes down ta one question, do they honestly regret their actions? If not, don't bother. But if they do, really truly do, then ya need ta ask yerself if ya want them in yer life. If so, then ya have ta let go of the past an' hope fer the future.

Ok, that was more than one question.

Future Jules to the rescue!

[craftylildoodlepumpkin]

Dear Agony Aunt,

I've been dating this guy for two years. We have a wonderful relationship, and we'd just moved in together when I found out he was lying to me about who he was. I have a huge issue with being lied to, so I broke it off with him, but he's been so sweet lately and my resolve is starting to waver. Should I take him back or stay firm?


Sincerely,
Not-So-Angry in Santa Barbra