DE: Let's Get Dangerous

[bjornwilde]

Canons all have their awesome threats; "You killed my father, prepare to die", "Good, bad, I'm the guy with the gun", "Say 'What' one my time", "Don't mess with the bull, young man. You'll get the horns". Lines that stick on our collective pop cultures to the point the source canon may not even be recognized anymore. 

 

What are some of yours? Or, perhaps even better, what would you add to your canon's roster of badass?

Comments

[masterofgunfu]

Cutting a bunch out but:

“The next time you hear something laugh and howl in the night, hug your family, because you won’t see the sunrise.”

[a1enzo]

This monologue. (Video also includes a typical fan reaction.)

Also:

AndrAIa: Ah, but now you have a secret weapon. Something they aren't expecting. Something that can't be stopped.
Capt. Capacitor: And what would that be?
[dramatic music]
Matrix: Me.

That's for canon in general. Backup Enzo didn't really get a lot of opportunity to be badass; for Young Original Enzo, I think I'd have to go with "Frisket, watch them. But don't eat them. Yet."

As for Millicanon, I honestly can't recall if I've given him any particularly badass lines. But I did have him shake Vlad Masters' hand, thank him for creating Dani, and then use the handshake for extra leverage while punching him straight into the mantelpiece. That's gotta count for something.

[gavin62truck]

Tommy's first words in the series opener as he addresses a bunch of new recruits (I've pretty much memorized it):

"You wanna know how big my balls are? My balls are bigger than two of your heads duct-taped together. I've been in the middle of shit that would make you piss your pants right now. Uptown, downtown, Harlem, Brooklyn. But there ain't no medals on my chest, assholes. I'm no hero. I'm a fireman. We're not in the business of making heroes here. We're in the business of discovering cowards, 'cause that's what you are if you can't take the heat. You're a pussy, and there ain't no room for pussies in the FDNY."

[misslucyjane]

"Son? Don't."

[alchemistseraph]

+1

[lady_bols]

"Fire up the Quattro."

[not_my_sandbox]

LOLOLOLOL

Actually, someone was abusing a private server to make Fairy Fixit say Amascut's lines. I'll have to come back when I think of something better.

From Nomad's Requeim and Stolen Hearts

[myriadbeautiful]

Nomad> I do hope this isn’t all that’s left of you. I was at least hoping for a challenge.
Dark Warrior> I’ll show you a challenge, traitor!

*Fighting*

Nomad> Is it my turn, now?

*You are dead. Not big surprise*

Dark Mage> I didn’t sign up for this!
Nomad> Really? How unfortunate for you!
Dark Mage> Gods save me!
Nomad> Ha! Your prayers won’t protect you from me, boy.

*ded!*

Dark Ranger> Fool! The master will flay the flesh from your bones when he hears of this treachery.
Nomad> Just where do you think you’re going?

*freeze tattler!*

Dark Ranger> What? No! You can’t do this to me!
Nomad> Let’s see how much punishment you can take!

*also is ded*

There are actually more instances of people being badass after someone issues a threat. Except maybe for this instance, after Khnum scoffs at a bunch of previous threats.

Ozan> Right, yeah… like your love of food, Khnum. How much is your imagination going to feed you when all we give you is bread and water?
Khnum> Now, hang on, let’s not do anything rash here. A man cannot live off bread alone… I need meat… and cheese… Ale, fruit, wine… Coffee! Oh gods no, don’t take away my coffee!
Player> If you tell us what we need to know, I’m sure your jail time can be made more… palatable.
Khnum> Okay, I’ll talk! Just don’t deprive a man of food, alright? Besides, the Skulls – we’re only hired help. Our benefactor, Lady Keli – this is her camel show!

[damncompass]

The best, most-used threat in Warehouse canon?

Mrs. Frederick.

'nuff said.

[vojvode]

Vlad has a couple of pop culture one liners:

"I don't drink... Wine."

"Listen to them: the children of the night. What sweet music they make!"

[camwyn]

HL canon is short on properly epic threats, thanks to silent protagonists. The best I can offer from Gordon: "To any of the Combine or their agents who may be listening: all your effort in this world has gone to waste. We survived. I survived. And we are coming for you."

Shephard's is a bit longer. The critical part: "I will come back here, without my friend. I will find you. I will follow you as long as I have to. And when you have well and truly forgotten that you are supposed to be doing right by someone you wronged, I will remind you and everyone else in the world that the Scout Sniper motto is 'one shot, one kill, no exceptions' for a very good reason."

... alternatively, given Shephard's track record with both Lyght and the false Gordon, possibly the best implicit rather than explicit threat from him is the line, "Wake up, friend. I got to talk to you."

Ellen's canon has the opportunity to deliver the line "I'm going to kill you SO MUCH" to Colonel Autumn when he's interrogating you. I didn't use that in her OOM with him, though. In its place I'm going with a line I had her deliver to a group of raiders: "If you listen to Three Dog then you know who I am. And if you know who I am then you know what happened in Grayditch. And what happened to the mutants who got between me and Reilly's Rangers. And the slavers at the Lincoln Memorial. Now ask yourselves this: what do you think is going to happen to you if you give me and my companion here any trouble?"

BLU Medic's canon has plenty of fantastic threats and soundbites. My personal favorite comes from the Soldier: "If God had wanted you to live he would not have created ME!". Of the Medic's threat lines, my favorite is, "I healed the man who's going to kill you."

Mordin's canon... oh gosh. The single best threat in the Mass Effect franchise is delivered by Sovereign in the first game, if you ask me. "YOU EXIST BECAUSE WE ALLOW IT. AND YOU WILL END BECAUSE WE DEMAND IT."

I haven't watched enough of Santo's canon to find any properly epic threats in it yet. My apologies for that. I'm sure there's something. There may even have been one in the movie where he fought Moon Nazis, but since I don't speak Spanish and there were no subtitles I really couldn't say.

Varric: Jackie (Hawke-mun) probably knows some better ones than me. I kind of like this line of Varric's when he's talking about his brother Bartrand, though: "I swear I am going to find that son of a bitch - sorry, Mother - and I will kill him!"

Stacker: "One: don't you ever touch me again. Two: don't you ever touch me again."

[hello_freak]

From the source canon: '...when you have eliminated all which is impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.'

And from the series: 'I'm not a psychopath, I'm a high-functioning sociopath. Do your research.'

[loki_of_sassgaard]

I'm trying to think of a good one for John, and am irritatingly coming up blank. Not really fitting the topic at hand, though, I think my favourite line of his is definitely, "No, I know you're for real. No-one could fake being such an irritating dick all the time."

[loki_of_sassgaard]

Nicholas Angel managed to make "Morning" sound downright dangerous. Also, "You're a doctor. Deal with it." Although, that was after Doctor Hatcher had half his foot blown off by a shotgun.

Then there's the entire opening scene which is nothing but lines that, out of context, are really benign, but which ultimately hint at doom and despair. Travis gets "We're making you sergeant." And then there's "Yes I can; I'm the Chief Inspector."


Gus' canon has a really good one, which is unfortunately delivered to him. "That's the first true thing you've said yet." Again, it's a lot more sinister in context. The fuck-off giant gun aimed at him probably helps.

Also delivered to Gus: "You come to get money from me, and you ain't even packing? Give my regards to the big, bearded guy."

[valiantrebel]

I'm a big fan of "AND IF THE DEVIL COME AND ROAR FOR THEM, I WILL NOT SEND THEM."

Also, "I do not caaaaaaare!" (Warning: link contains dubstep Shakespeare.)

Mostly, however, I'm sad The Hollow Crown didn't give us Joe Armstrong doing this speech:

Let them come:
They come like sacrifices in their trim,
And to the fire-eyed maid of smoky war
All hot and bleeding will we offer them:
The mailed Mars shall on his altar sit
Up to the ears in blood. I am on fire
To hear this rich reprisal is so nigh
And yet not ours.

[hecu_marine]

Shephard approves. Although he's still of the opinion that Mr. John Milton could kick Bill Shakespeare's ass all the way from one end of England to the other and back down again.

... he's kinda fond of Abdiel's lines to the rebel angels as threats, what can I say.

[genarti]

Ahahaha. Fun!

Enjolras: "On your knees. Collect your thoughts. Pray or think. You have one minute."

...Yeah. Uh. Followed by "throw that aside."

If you have seen Enjolras and Javert discussing how he's a murderer, this is what they're talking about.

Thor: ...You know, I'm not sure. Thor's definitely badass, but he doesn't really do verbal threats much. Loki gets more. Thor tends more to roar and loom and glare.

River: "My turn."

River doesn't really threaten people either. She either kills them or doesn't. There've been exceptions -- hi, Jubal Early -- but it's not as quotable.

Regan doesn't have enough canonical screen time for any badass threats. Millicanon, I guess "I've reported it for you." *rueful* More ominous than badass, but Regan isn't really terribly badass anyway.

Back to work; I will try to come back to do Trowa and Clare. (And to think of things for them.)

[newredshoes]

"Next?"

[sunbaked_baker]

Yrael gets some good lines with threatening undertones, though my favorite of his is actually said by someone else about him. (Without the canon right in front of me, paraphrasing will have to do.)

"Sentiment, Abhorsen. A memory, now purged... We'll start, I think, with the plucking of an eye."

"Save the theatrics for someone who responds to them."

"And Corporal? Breathe a word of this to anybody, and I'll feed you to that cat-thing there."
"Yum," smiled Mogget.

Sunshine's canon is tragically short on threats, but it has some wonderfully quotable lines.

“I don't put up with being messed around, and I don't suffer fools gladly. The short version of that is that I'm a bitch. Trust me, I can provide character references.”

“Vampires do breathe, by the way, but their chests don't move like humans'. Have you ever lain in the arms of your sweetheart and tried to match your breathing to his, or hers? You do it automatically. Your brain only gets involved if your body is having trouble. Fortunately there was nothing about this situation that was like being in the arms of a sweetheart except that I was leaning against someone's naked chest. I could no more have breathed with him than I could have ignited gasoline and shot exhaust out my butt because I was sitting in the passenger seat of a car.”

“I didn’t want to know that the monster that lived under your bed when you were a kid not only really is there but used to have a few beers with your dad.”

“My kind does not surprise easily," he said, tonelessly. "You surprised me, this morning. I have thus used up my full quota of shock and consternation for some interval."
I stared at him. "You made a *joke*."
"I have heard this kind of thing may happen to vampires who linger in the presence of humans,” he replied, looking and sounding particularly vampirish.

[varadia]

I still love the exchange between Sooraya and X.

Sooraya: Jean Grey told us X-men do not kill.
X-23: And where is she now?

My other favorite canonical quote of hers is while she and Wolverine are in combat together and he takes a hit.

"You heal too slow."

[vance_prime]

"How. Dare. You. Even. Mention. Her."

Not exactly a threat, but...

[bjornwilde]

Ben is often spouting, well they're not threats exactly, more like challenges, but the two best are; "You fight one of us, you fight all of us." and the classic, "It's clobberin' time!"

[ladyiapetus]

Rue's canon has this line from Katniss: "Fire is catching. And if we burn, you burn with us!"

[no_more_hiding]

"DON'T MOCK ME!"

Not a threat exactly but the best he gets...that I can remember anyway.

[the_gene_genie]

'You're surrounded by armed bastards!'

[haole_cop]

OH GOD THERE ARE SO MANY.

"You can get my badge number off your forehead."

"If anything happens to that plane, I'm gonna find you, and I'm gonna kill you."

"A grenade? He has a grenade. Why do you have a grenade? He's got a grenade. You see this? He's not bluffing? He will pull the pin and blow everybody up. Will you trust me, please?"

"If that was my daughter, I'd break every bone in his hand."

...etc.

Danny is kind of an angry person.

[pickledtribute]

*sweetly* May the odds be ever in your favor.

[souffle_girlek]

Doctor's speech at Stonehenge.

"Remember every black day I ever stopped you and then, and then... do the smart thing. Let somebody else try first."


And then from Clara:
"Do you know how you make someone into a Dalek? Subtract love, add anger... doesn't she seem too angry to you?"

[gavin62truck]

The Doctor is endless with the quoteable threats. I especially enjoyed Eleven's "Good men don't need rules. Today is not the day to find out why I have so many."

[the_force_abides]

"I'm no jedi..."

[time_dancer]

Non-canon: "I was raised by Doctor Doom and the Invisible Woman. Think about what that means for a moment."