DE: I think we've been here before

[bjornwilde]

Your morning's work, answer the following for you pups to the best of your understanding:

You're in a desert, walking along in the sand, when all of a sudden you look down. You see a tortoise, it's crawling towards you. You reach down and you flip the tortoise over on its back. Why?

Comments

[hecu_marine]

What the fuck's the matter with you, askin' a question like that in the first place? You don't fuck with critters that ain't fuckin' with you first. 'Specially not harmless bastards like tortoises.

'Sides, I got too much weird-ass mythic shit in my life to go around flipping fuckin' tortoises over. Man in my position does that, he's gonna find out he's walkin' through Hopi territory and he just started a goddamn drought or a plague or somethin' by pissin' off the fuckin' tortoise spirit.

Don't fuck with goddamn tortoises. It ain't gonna fuckin' end well.

[gavin62truck]

Uh. 'Cause I'm an asshole?

In any case I'd flip it back over after watching it kick its feet in the air for a few moments, just to see if it could flip itself over on its own.

Christ, I ain't that big of an asshole.

[1nv1nc1ble]

"Um, well, probably because I'd be checking the plastron against my guidebook, to determine whether it's male or female. Also, probably trying to tell what species of Desert Tortoise it is. They're endangered, you know." Mark consults his notes, then continues, "Then, I'd have to measure him, or her, and weigh the tortoise, and, um, make note of any injuries or any of the diseases that the Park Rangers told me about. Then, I'd make a note of the grid coordinates where I found it, and put it back down on the ground."

"What? Some of us actually care about wildlife...."

[hello_freak]

Clearly, to study the wear patterns and debris that has collected in the ventral plates.

[slayer_fray]

Because I'm still mad at that rutter.

[runawaybandit]

...

I'm supposed to have SEEN a tortoise in the SAND?

[masterofgunfu]

Best answer!

[chameno_koritsi]

Yeah, right. Like I'd flip a tortoise when I work for the Goddess of the Wild. Idiot. Even if I weren't, there'd be no way unless it was some monster tortoise and I don't think there are any of those.

[justdyedit]

To see if there was a homing beacon or tracker on it obviously. Only reason I can think of why I would be in a desert is because I was hunting HYDRA so yeah. I flip him right back over though.

[masterofgunfu]

Cause I was pissed at the world. I felt guilty right away though so flipped him over and then feed him some cactus.

[melomancer]

Because the desert was really the third level of the Twilight and I was desperate for clues. There were none of course so I turned the tortoise right.

[no_more_hiding]

I don't think I would do that. Everyone knows tortoises and turtles have trouble righting themselves so this would be a very cruel thing to do. I guess if I really had to think of a reason it would be to see if it's true that they do have trouble righting themselves and after a minute, I would turn it back over.

[the_force_abides]

What is a tortoise? Is it some sort of dangerous creature? Regardless, there is no reason for such cruelty as even the most vicious animal is part of the Force.

[time_dancer]

WHAT? I would never....Ok, if I did, I have no idea why and I turn him right back over.

[wish_monger]

It seemed the proper orientation for the animal given it's shape. I realize my error however and turn the animal over. I do not know who created such a beast but its shape is poorly designed.

[death_gone_mad]

*puts her anatomy nerd hat on*

Actually, it is a pretty brilliant design! Tortoise shells are very Gömböc-like!

[wish_monger]

I see. I apologize then. I am unfamiliar with most animals and have never been in a desert.

[woman_of_valor]

Your test is flawed for I would never do such a thing.

[unglitched]

'Cuz then I can jump on it and shoot it at the other Koopas and get a 1-up! Duh.

[1nv1nc1ble]

I believe that THIS is the best answer. Sorry, runawaybandit.

[death_gone_mad]

Because I was hungry and they are easier to deal with that way. But I would push it into the sand a bit so it couldn't flip itself over, of course.

What? Did you think a proper desert tortoise is helpless on its back? A sea turtle maybe but not a desert tortoise. Stop feeling sorry!

MMM... tortoise...

[fairy_fixit]

Because I felt like wasting time and energy playing a trick on something around the same size as myself or bigger when I should be doing something else. Why would I do something that stupid? I am no monster slayer. Tortoises bite and scratch.

[ooc: Whoa, I did not expect her to get confrontational about this.]

[janisthorn]

I do not know. What is a tortoise? Can it be eaten? If so, perhaps its belly is more vulnerable.

[friend_of_lucy]

Because he asked me to get something sticky off the bottom of his shell then I put him the right way up.

[wheatencrown]

Oh, I remember that. Zeus was trying out transformations when we were younger and he ended up smaller than he expected and was whining. I thought he should understand some of the difficulties of the shape.

[chameno_koritsi]

Dad's going to be pissed when he hears me laughing.

[morethanprops]

Why would I be in a desert and why would I stop to bother with a tortoise? Perhaps if my horse kicked it over then I would right it, you never know who a tortoise might be.

[not_his_pa]

Cause it tripped my horse and I was setting it straight while makin' sure my horse was fine.

[makesthings]

Probably because it had some spell attached to it or something worse. We don't have deserts in the Old Kingdom.

[janebecomes]

This is a rather stupid philosophy question and I would not flip an animal upon its back. That would be cruel.

[balancingminds]

It was in distress and I was attempting to help the poor thing. It had communicated that it wished to be turned over since it was caught on a rock.

[will_scarlett]

Nay, I wouldna, stupid question.

[howling_laugh]

Lunch.

[no_vampires_plz]

To check and see whether it has "Please Return to Rainbow Dash c/o Ponyville" written on the underside of its shell.