DE: Just read the label

[bjornwilde]

 If your pup came with a warning label, what would it say? Would your pup agree with you?

Comments

[last_kallig]

Ooooh, tricky one!

Kreyu's label would be two words: Caution, dragon! She'd likely agree with that.

Annabelle Newfield's : Villainy while using this product may result in serious injury or embarrassment. Annabelle would object to the 'product' part, but she'd agree that the rest is right on!

Ibani's: Appearance of product does not reflect internal content. Because, while she may LOOK like a Sith, she's not much like the rest of them on the inside. Ibani would agree, but she'd find a way to hide/obscure the label and bribe the label maker into giving up their source of information.

[death_gone_mad]

Amascut gets: "These statements have not been approved by the FDA or any government entity. Please consult your doctor before participating in strenuous activity."

Amascut gives a raised eyebrow.

[1nv1nc1ble]

Warning: Teenager.


(Because, really, do you need anything else.)

[gavin62truck]

For Tommy: DO NOT GIVE LIQUOR OR DRUGS.

He would agree.

[bjornwilde]

Jess: Warning, hero may need convincing and cajoling to do the right thing from time to time. Moods may vary from morose to flippant. In all cases, treat with quality coffee.

She would likely agree, though grumpily about the first point.

Anton: Prone to over thinking and stalling. Treat with vodka, cognac, or challenging problems to solve.

He'd likely agree and then prove the point by examining why he over thinks things.

OK, this is harder than I would have expected.

[fairy_fixit]

Warning: Technical Jargon

To which Fairy Fixit responds, "Expanding your vocabulary wouldn't be detrimental to your mental health, you know."

[orange_lily]

May contain traces of harsh.

[yakalskovich]

Warnings that always apply for my charries:

• Teja: Beware Gothic world-views and artificial 19th century language!
  
• Hannibal Lecter: CONSTANT EXTREME WARNINGS for gaslighting, psychological manipulation, psychic driving, cannibalism, cannibalism puns, casual murder, and extremely unusual use of a rolodex.
  
• Katrina Crane: Uncertainty principles apply for all interactions.
  
• Lady Margolotta: Will always know better than you, sekritly.
  
• Poins: Warning for blank verse and canon-typical bawdy
  
• Tamara: Will eat sailors
  
• Lorenzo: Attention, ditzy daddy's boy. Gets better eventually.

And the two new ones:

• Madame Thénardier: Read too many cheap pulp novels; world-view warped accordingly
  
• Father Pearse Harman: No quarter given to any vampires anywhere ever under any circumstances

[sunbaked_baker]

Hannibal Lecter: CONSTANT EXTREME WARNINGS for gaslighting, psychological manipulation, psychic driving, cannibalism, cannibalism puns, casual murder, and extremely unusual use of a rolodex.

I think Will sums it up quite thoroughly: "Stay away from Hannibal Lecter."

[yakalskovich]

But if everybody did, he would be no fun!

[sunbaked_baker]

Of course. But the same would be true if anyone read any of the applicable warnings for Hannibal Lecter. Will's just summing it up.

[yakalskovich]

The applicable warnings for Hannibal Lecter stay invisible, within the confines of his reality, until it is too late. Everybody else knows the warnings, of course, which is an important part of the fun of watching Hannibal go about his business.

[sunbaked_baker]

Exactly. That's the arc of the first season of the show: Will learning the read the warning labels that have previously been invisible. And then he turns Cassandra, with no one heeding his warnings until too late.

[yakalskovich]

Because nobody else ever reads the hidden labels on Dr. Lecter. Maybe even because they can't be read unless one braves mortal danger.

[sunbaked_baker]

See also: Bedelia.

*fears for her*

[yakalskovich]

Yes, she definitely is in mortal danger.-

[damncompass]

Joshua: Overgrown twenty-something who is probably smarter than you. React accordingly.
Helena: Debronzed Victorian Author. Broken. Take care.
Fantine: Nineteenth Century Frenchwoman. Actually smarter and more with-it than you might think.
Valentine: Smartass twelve year old. Smarter than you.
Mark: Bohemian Artist. Doesn't like to engage.

And my apped one:
Peter: Doesn't know what's going on. Will snark anyway.

And, to be honest, I think they'd all agree with me.

[ceitfianna]

Will: Will fight if provoked. He'd be good with that.

Charles: Can read your mind, will talk about mutants and try and be helpful. He'd nod and go yes.

Sameth: Knows if you're dead. This would make him uncomfortable but he'd agree that its accurate.

William: I'm not sure, I'd love suggestions.

Moist: Will lie to you, possibly steal from you and be generally unhelpful unless he wants to be or Scoundrel! It would make him facepalm but accurate.

Jane: Will probably use you in her book and will be witty at you. It would make her laugh.

Demeter: More than she seems. Hm, I need a better one for her.

Ivan: Really is paying attention. Need another one for him.

Tumnus: Will serve you tea.

The Pirate King: There will be singing and swords.

Hm, this is trickier than I expected, I'd love any ideas.

[runningred]

William - too nice for words?

[ceitfianna]

He'd disagree with that as he knows his temper and how he can get jealous of things.

[hecu_marine]

The only one coming to mind at the moment is for Stacker:

"Contents under pressure. Do not agitate."

ETA: For what it's worth, Shephard wears a warning label on his uniform at all times- the HECU unit patch. Granted, it's meant to indicate the warning-worthy situations the unit is equipped to deal with, but still. (I photoshopped it from the real-world USMC Chemical Biological Incident Response Force's unit patch; they cover chemical, biological, radiological, nuclear, and high-yield explosive incidents.) This is it:



For reference, the marking in the upper left quadrant is the symbol for chemical weapons. Upper right quadrant is the biohazard symbol. Lower left is the radiation trefoil. This is for response to radiological emergencies such as power plant leaks and the detonation of dirty bombs. Actual nuclear incidents are a separate category and indicated by the atom symbol in the lower right. Unfortunately they used the center to denote 'hey, we're a Marine Corps unit' rather than trying to find space for one of the symbols commonly used to denote explosives.

[kd7sov]

For the record, I recently saw Pacific Rim. Came out of it with two main thoughts: that Hannibal would probably be the easiest for me to get as a headvoice (which is a really weird feeling, considering my usual type), and that I want to see (probably in a sandbox) Stacker's reaction to one of the Giants from Reus showing up in the Milliways lake.

[neverbelievedintheend]

Keywords for this icon are "really now".

(I'm not sure what he'd actually be doing in response, although the fact that even the Ocean Giant- which vaguely resembles a crab and therefore bears the faintest of resemblances to Onibaba- doesn't appear to glow blue anywhere visible probably means that he'd be more wary than reflexively demanding to know whether there are any defenses on the premises at all. Beyond that I couldn't say for sure just yet.)

(1/2)

[boneslumlord]

Hannibal would probably be the easiest for me to get as a headvoice (which is a really weird feeling, considering my usual type)

What can I say? I've just got one'a those personalities. Just ask the kid here.

(2/2)

[aberrantangels]

[Austin opens Hannibal like a door which disappears when it closes behind him. In the absence of the ability to fold your monitor, that's the best description the narration can manage.]

And, having looked up those giants when you (or somebody) bruited that notion about in crackchat, I'd kind of like to see those Giants show up, since we probably won't ever get the 11 Giants of Ur.

[kd7sov]

Fluttershy: Startles easily. Do not offend.

No thoughts on my others.

[jothra]

I think Duo and Coyote both get 'Explosive' warnings.

Donatello gets 'Biological Hazard'

[whatisastiles]

Carol: Costume does not enable user to fly.

Mary: Dry clean only.

Stiles: Warning: choking hazard. (On his underwear. This is why Stiles should not select his own warning label.)

[not_his_pa]

I have an idea for a Stiles' one; Expect sarcasm.

[doctorscaryteeth]

Caution: Contains sharp parts. Flammable. Not safe for children under 3.

[runningred]

Jason - May contain sharp edges. Do not wake suddenly.
Daoud - not sure.

Apped - Inspector Detector - Warning: deep water with dangerous undercurrents.