Joshua Donovan (
damncompass) wrote in
ways_back_room2014-05-15 08:43 am
Entry tags:
Daily Entertainment: HOLY CRAP IT'S THURSDAY Edition!
Good morning, Milliways! I have returned from the land of overworked and underslept! I have missed you all!
Today, in the sometimes-great land of Connecticut, it is cold and dreary... and I have already dropped six things this morning. So, I bring you, today's Daily Entertainment:
Dexterity!: How coordinated is your character? Are they clumsy? Do they have the reflexes of a cat (or a not-cat, as the case may be)? If you know the D&D stats system, what would your character's dex stat be?
Today, in the sometimes-great land of Connecticut, it is cold and dreary... and I have already dropped six things this morning. So, I bring you, today's Daily Entertainment:
Dexterity!: How coordinated is your character? Are they clumsy? Do they have the reflexes of a cat (or a not-cat, as the case may be)? If you know the D&D stats system, what would your character's dex stat be?

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Bruce Wayne - stellar reflexes; perfect, controlled coordination.
Bruce Banner - bordering on below average. He's perfect as the Hulk, but as himself, a little bit clumsy. Too much time in the lab, not enough in the gym.
Javert - above average. He moves well, he's strong, he can shoot and use his sword. His day to day work has always been physical, so his reflexes and coordination are never not in practice.
Valjean - off the chart. Canonically, he has the strength of four men, but this doesn't make him awkward. He's also 'the best marksman in the world' (paraphrase, obviously), and can climb like a cat, with mad-wicked flexibility. Basically, in another life he'd be a gymnast.
Robin - another A+++. Archery, obviously. And he's a soldier, so he has to be able to move well. He's shown himself to be pretty handy with a stick, and various forms of fighting. Nothing average about his coordination at all.
No idea about D&D, sorry!
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Hank: Very agile, I'd give him an 18. He can be awkward or clumsy but it is more his emotional state than actual clumsiness.
Quin: He's a Jedi, your argument is invalid. OK, compared to other Jedi, I'd say he's a little below average.
Lady Trent/Isabella: Human norm, though the human norm for a Victorian girl/woman. She does get away with scampering about out of doors though, so not as bad as her peers. Since she's presently a kid, I'll say 9.
Anton: I like the idea of him being a little clumsy actually. I'm giving him a 9.
Andrea: Polythrope reflexes and agility. She is the best shot in her canon and beat a beta were-hyena in hand to hand combat with little effort. I'm inclined to go with 20. (I so need to get back to her canon.)
Mulan: Pretty agile as a sword fighter, maybe 15.
Brimstone: He is not clumsy and has good hand-eye coordination, but he hides in his study most often. Thus, he is not very agile. I'll give him a 12, mostly for fine hand-eye work.
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Shephard: Pretty well coordinated. He has somewhat above-average hand-to-hand fighting ability, though nothing spectacular, and a sense of balance as ridiculous as Gordon's, otherwise he wouldn't have made it out of Black Mesa either. His serious physical skills lie in hand-eye coordination- he was hunting with his uncles from the time he was old enough to respect a gun, he passed the scout sniper training with flying colors in the Corps, and he does primitive archery, which translates to an ability to kill something the size and toughness of a polar bear with a couple of stone-tipped wooden arrows fired from a wooden bow. So that's something.
Ellen: A very good shot, thanks to practicing with a BB gun every day of her life from her tenth birthday through age nineteen, and well trained in hand to hand, but not a gymnast or martial artist by any stretch of the imagination (because I am tired of 'tiny Asian person = hand to hand combat monster'). Not as nimble as she could be, though. She spends too much time in power armor to really work on agility, and relies heavily on the stealth field in her Chinese stealth suit to cover for that fact when she's not in power armor.
Medic: Probably about average, maybe a little above it from being a battlefield medic for BLU for many years- he's one of the faster BLU members, but I don't really see him as the greatest shot ever.
Varric: Average to a little above average; it's the crossbow that's outstanding, more than him.
Santo: Is a lifelong professional wrestler of considerable skill and driving and shooting ability.
Stacker Pentecost: Invented the martial art of Jaeger bushido, according to the supplemental material. Maybe he's not Bruce Lee levels of coordinated, but he's at least Imi Lichtenfeld.
And Edward Kenway not only routinely swords and pistols it up, but climbs the rigging of a tossing ship in rough seas, picks people's pockets without being noticed, kills animals by dropping onto them from trees knife-first, and can leap off the topmost point of the tallest cathedral in Havana and land in the restricted confines of a single haywagon without batting an eye. Try not to honk off pirate assassin guy, yo.
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Mia and Lucas, being rpg party members, are both from the school of hard knocks when it comes to learning reflexes. They had to pick up think fast or die. However, both of them have shield spells, and Lucas is the dedicated healer for his party. Both are also post-canon at this point, so I'd say their dex stats would be their respective character maximums. The most coordinated characters in their parties would probably be Alex and Duster.
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He can be clutzy. During the night of the slugs he lost his gun, bumbled his car keys, and dropped a grenade (to be fair, you try hanging onto shit when you've got zombies hitting you with shovels, spitting acid at you and slapping you with tentacles!). He's also accident prone, but he usually bounces back pretty well, so at least he's sturdy?
Hellboy - For all his size and penchant for throwing and breaking shit, Red is actually pretty coordinated with a fine control on his strength. He has to be going around with that big ass stone hand of his which he can use for crushing and breaking stuff, yeah, but he can also open a candy bar and pet kittens.
He's shown balance and proven to be quick on his feet, but mostly he'll bull his way through things rather than worry about finesse. He's also a lousy shot.
Logan - He's the best there is at what he does, and that requires a whole helluva lot of coordination and reflexes. He's a down and dirty brawler, but he's also got samurai skills so there's art to his fighting, too. He's a lot faster and more agile than he looks. I don't know DD point stuff, but whatever the max is on manual dexterity, he's got that.
Charlie Kenton - Not quite on par with Logan, but as a former boxer Charlie has excellent hand-eye coordination, balance and reflexes. They're kind of dulled from living like a slob, but they aren't gone. When he wants to be (or takes a second to try) Charlie can be very perceptive, seeing what's coming in a fight before it does. Usually, though, his impatience and/or his foolhardiness gets the better of him and he'll go in half-cocked and swinging, looking for the knockout and instead getting put on his ass.
Puss in Boots - He's an expert swordscat. Agility, grace, balance, timing, and adorable to boot.
The Tick - He can leap across rooftops, chuck dead bodies up onto balconies and bursts through walls when there's a door a few feet away. I'm not sure what you call that other than being The Tick.
Billy the Kid - Fast with his hands, and deadly when there's a pair of guns in them.
Art Mullen - Art isn't all as slow as he makes you think (but it gets pretty sad when he gets into a foot chase with anyone). His more athletic days are behind him, but there's a good chance he could still put you on your ass if you gave him the mind to. Otherwise he's content to Not leave his desk for the most part.
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Which is me saying, yess, this is totally a thing that should happen. *G*
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Tyler Darrow is a bit below average for the folks he hangs with. This does put him slightly above average for a human though. Mostly he goes to get out of the way when a fight breaks out because he doesn't get back up from being shot in the face. So it goes.
Ako is way better than she used to be, and that wasn't bad. She does lean more toward con than dex, but she's a decent pistol shot and most tripping happens for comedic effect - which no one is immune to.
Robo is pretty dang dexterous. It's mostly swallowed up in practical things by the fact that he's a dense metal strongman. The mere fact that he doesn't causally trash everything around him before the fight starts is the illustrative thing here. *waves at Hellboy who has roughly the same situation*
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Fairy Fixit is more crafty. There is a great deal of dexterity involved, but craftiness and dexterity aren't the same thing. She is definitely not clumsy, but I doubt she is that good with weapons. I've headcanoned that when she lets her antennae out she is an agile enough flier to navigate extra-dimensional spaces.
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Charles is I'd say average human in terms of agility, he's in good shape, but his dexterity is mainly mental. He knows how to use his smaller size to his advantage but that's more to keep steady. In canon, he runs after Erik and its clear he's quick but not amazing.
Ivan is a trained soldier who for all his height and bulk is fairly agile, in the last canon book, he wrestles someone in a tunnel and wins.
Moist is incredibly agile, a gifted pickpocket who can steal someone's pencil while they're using it and escape most places.
William's pretty average, he can react quickly since he needs it for his work with the cattle but he doesn't seem anything amazing in the movie.
Jane is average, she's a good dancer and elegant on her feet but nothing striking.
Sameth is a little above average since he was trained to fight and with his forge work needs to be able to move fast. Also he played cricket and rugby, so he knows how to be agile but he's not much more than better than average human.
Demeter is a goddess so off the charts though its not something that she uses much.
Tumnus is I think not much above baseline human, Fauns are quick creatures but not the most agile.
The Pirate King is above average, he's fast on his feet and though he is clumsy, its more when he's trying to do too much at once.
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Cosette is graceful, but nothing more notable, and with minimal training in any kind of athletic endeavor -- natural coordination a little above average, I guess.
Thor is extremely coordinated: high dex, LOTS AND LOTS of training and practice. Not actually superhumanly so, but on the high end of human limits.
River is a gunslinger and a dancer both. She's right up at the top edge of human limits of coordination, in terms of balance and aim and all that. Natural 20, here.
Regan is back in the above average category -- she's got very good natural hand-eye coordination, and pretty good balance from back when she used to ride horseback and do some social dancing, but she's kind of rusty at all that.
Claire is... I dunno, fairly high? She doesn't have any problem bounding across rooftops, anyway. She stands out more for her strength and her superhuman senses than her dexterity per se, but it's nothing to sneeze at.
Trowa is a professional acrobat and highwire artist, who learned all these jobs really, really quickly around age 15. Before that, he was a professional soldier, and his aim is really good. He's another catlike one.
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Lois and Henry are pretty baseline human, though Lois is at least mildly dextrous.
Eriond, doesn't really apply, he can be as dextrous as he wants.
Tavi: more or less reasonable dex until he's fifteen. Starts increasing dex stat after. He gets a bonus when using a sword. In D&D, probably at least an 18 by the end, maybe 19 (dunno about 20), easy +5, maybe more, with a sword (just thinking about when skill ranks give you bonuses) and probably a saving throw which lets him re-roll a natural one. Possibly higher numbers, but I doubt it. Araris, now, Araris has an even more broken dex stat.
But let us not discuss the rest of Tavi's stats. They are horrendously broken. Whoever made his sheet took some major disadvantages and began seeding various stats with WTF, and then used experience to buy their way out of those disadvantages slowly before being able to dump them all. And using a lot of 'Between phases of the campaign, he's training! No, no, see, these are the training rules and this is how I'm abusing them' until Tavi is seriously just broken overpowered. Plus getting Tavi to a place in the world where necessity dictates inheriting fragtons of power.
I actually have some theories about that campaign, but it would take a while and I don't feel like going into it right now.
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Dixie: Is sinuous. She knows how to bump and grind her way across the stage. Average reflexes and quickness.
Juliet: Extremely coordinated, with excellent hand-eye coordination.
Pinkie Pie: Is a gravity-defying goofball. Not QUITE as clumsy as she might be, but goofball she remains.
Eponine: Stealthy