DE: Listen kid...

[bjornwilde]

 For whatever reason, your character is now stuck with an apprentice/sidekick/squire/spunky kid for the foreseeable future. What life or career advice does your character offer?

Comments

[hecu_marine]

[bjornwilde]

OK, everyone go home. Camwyn wins the DE today. =D

[hecu_marine]

*bows*

[electro_kinetic]

Oddly I feel like Noriko might hand these out to people wanting to join the X-Men. Possibly along with the funny-but-true maxims from Schlock Merceary. Most of them, anyway.

[hecu_marine]

One of the many reasons why they get along!

[bjornwilde]

Jess: Network, cause you never know when you are going to need help. Eat any chance you get; you never know when food might not be available. Never bad mouth bacon.

Selina: Don't get involved with cops, stay away from the families, don't get into fights. If you do get in a fight, go for the eyes.

Andrea: Always take good care of your tech. Give a smile as often as you can, it can open more doors than you think. Write everything down.

Sam Wilson: Somethings are going to be beyond your control. Accept that and adjust.

Tybalt: Keep an eye on those closest to you and if you take an heir, claim them. Do not allow their former family to influence him or her unduly.

Ethan: When in a fight, shoot first. You always have time for guilt later. Enjoy life. Lord knows there's enough pain to worry too much about judgement.

Quinlan: Know your exits and why you fight.

[silveraspen]

*looks at character list*

*wanders off to collapse in heap of laughter*

[genarti]

Aw, I feel like Jack Sparrow would have excellent life advice!

Er.

Or something.

[camwyn]

Something like this Wondermark strip, perhaps?

[death_gone_mad]

Amascut sez: "Kill W amount of X creature. Aim for the Y with a Z. Run along now; try not to die. Come back for another assignment when you are finished."

Fairy Fixit sez: Don't you dare take an unpaid internship. It cheapens you and it cheapens the profession. Otherwise try to learn by doing and learn by teaching. Studying can only get you so far.

[merryeccentricities]

You tell 'em, Fairy Fixit.

[genarti]

For serious.

[buh_bye]

You can't always save anyone, because if you save a life, you end up upsetting the balance, and others have to die. Oh and don't raise the dead, unless you really need or want to. Remember the balance thing from earlier.

[genarti]

Thor would do pretty well with a sidekick of reasonably Asgardian-level toughness, really! He'd give pretty good advice, on the whole. Lots of be true to yourself, be honorable, be responsible and true to your duty, protect those weaker than you even if he's got a certain toleration for hotheadedness.

With a sidekick of normal-human-level toughness... he would still give good advice, and in fact Thor seems to keep picking up mentees at Milliways, but if they were doing a lot of following him around he'd have some quiet deer-in-the-headlights moments about how EVERYTHING BREAKS THEM.

Enjolras would do well with an older kid/young adult who was up for a lot of philosophical debate, because what he would do a whole lot of is encouraging them to think for themselves. And talking about equality and rights and all, but they'd always be welcome to argue back, about anything. More than welcome!

...That said. I say "them," but I really mean "him," because if Enjolras got a spunky girl following him around as a sidekick he would not know what to do, and the 19th century paternalistic sexism would come out in a big way. Mmph. Sorry, hypothetical girl wonder.

Cosette would offer more in the way of caretaking and affection than life advice, especially for a kid. But she'd offer a lot of that! And would do her best to answer any of their questions.

Clare canonically has this happen! A teenager named Raki starts following her around devotedly after she saves his life by killing the monster that ate his older brother. She kills things for him to eat and has NO IDEA what she's doing with anything feelings-related. Her helpful advice is mostly along the lines of "Don't misunderstand me. I'm not a good altruistic person and I'm not human. *altruistically saves a bunch of people's lives* *is bewildered by Raki's feelings*"

Trowa's life advice involves a lot of tactics (applied to fighting and/or to civilian life, as applicable), along with "be true to yourself and your feelings." And physical self-care advice that comes through a filter of "your body is your primary weapon so take care of it," but is nonetheless pretty solid. Um, he knows himself well enough to outsource any emotional self-care advice.

River... well, it depends. Is the sidekick a born gunslinger, or otherwise someone who has a lot of killing-related skills and/or experience? Because in that case her advice is going to involve a lot of stuff about keeping control, owning every single one of your own choices, striking out in the exact way you judge to be necessary, and being responsible for bystanders, and a lot of it will be couched in terms borrowed from Roland Deschain and his ka-tet. Is the sidekick someone who was experimented on or otherwise treated like a possession or weapon or lab data rather than a person? Because in that case it'll involve a lot of stuff about being your own person down deep no matter what anybody else says or does, about being able to make choices now, about it'll be okay, little brother/sister. Is the sidekick just an ordinary-ish kid? Because in that case she'll be a bratty, teasing, protective big sister sort, while encouraging them to be a bratty little sibling right back.

Regan's life advice would be a lot more practiced than most of these folks', because she's not only a mother of two grown kids but also a public figure who does a lot of What A Great Class/Club/City You Are visits, but it'd be well meant all the same. She'd come down fairly heavily on the side of "figure out what you want, long-term, and then we can figure out what's workable and how to achieve it."

[presspasskey]

This happens in canon! In Bar-Lois' future, but here they are:

Lois Lane's Rules of Reporting
1) Always know your source.
2) Always make a good first impression (and don't screw up with the boss).
3) Do whatever it takes to get the story.
4) If something seems too weird to be true, it usually is.
5) Never take deadlines too seriously.
6) Triple check your facts.
7) Put all the good stuff at the beggining.

Mis-spell intentional, because Lois. And that picture? Lois once wrote them down and handed them to her new sidekick at work. Clark had it framed later, keeps it in his desk.