Daily Entertainment: The First Rule of Fight Club

[thisisnotajournal]

Aliens have taken over Milliways and forced everyone in it to participate in a series of one-on-one fights with other patrons for their entertainment. The only concessions the new overlords make is that your pup's preferences for their opponents will be taken into consideration. Who's at - or near - the top of your pup's list?

(This can be read in a couple of ways - who would your pup trust to go along with them on a crazy bait-and-switch scheme to overthrow the aliens, who does your pup think would be the easiest/worthiest fight, or who does your pup just want an excuse to go Ronda Rousey on.)

Comments

[inlovewithwords]

Eriond - ...Wouldn't fight. Also, wouldn't stand for this.

Henry - Not applicable, I need to play him again.

Evelyn - Ysalwen. It's the reputation. The ladies would end up trying to save the day.

Lois - Diana, with plotting to overthrow the aliens.

Tavi - Kitai, Araris, Alanna, Gavroche for top four. Obviously plan is to save the day. He and Kitai would start many fires.

Anakin - Brand new, but so far he'd go with Ibani and Quinlan because he (thinks he) knows more or less what they are and how they work. That said, well. Give him a few entrances/episodes and of Bar patrons, Ahsoka will be the top of that list, no questions asked.

...Man, I need a new Milliways icon.

[the_lioness]

That is.... that is a scary lineup, Tavi. *approves*

[inlovewithwords]

Oh, you have just reminded me that X should be on that list as well. He doesn't know her well personally, but he remembers the stories about Pirate's Swoop.

Look, it's a list for 'who to bring to a fight.' If it weren't terrifying, Tavi wouldn't be doing his job right.

I remain grateful he doesn't actively want to go world conquering.

[never_shall_yield]

Gene will fight anyone. He'll fight you, he'll fight your dog, he'll fight himself, he doesn't care.

Javert is canonically above such things as physical combat, but luckily I've taken all that away from him in Milliways. His heart, such as it is, says Valjean, because he is permanently mad at him, and also hopeless. But he also knows Valjean wouldn't fight, so he'd rely on his ability to escape any situation and get them out of it without violence.

Or Bahorel. He'd quite like to smack Bahorel.

Valjean is useless, and would just stand and let himself be hit. Or gently restrain his opponent with his ridiculous super-strength, and then lecture the aliens on the error of their ways. Violence is not the answer, people.

If pushed in some extreme way, he'd beat the aliens. He's proper hard, he could do it.

Courfeyrac would fight Javert. He doesn't like Javert. Or pick Bahorel to overthrow the aliens with, because if anyone can...

Bruce Wayne picks X, obviously, and overthrows the aliens.

Bruce Banner...seriously, who's going to pick him? He'd choose Thor. Good luck, alien overlord-wannabees.

Pearly Soames will pick the nearest person. Even if it's the Hulk. He's doesn't care, he's nuts.

Jim Moriarty probably let the aliens in to start off with. He'd make them fight each other.

Jack Aubrey would find this a very odd affair, but he's always up for a fight! He'd choose the tactically most sensible option - Thor/Hulk/X etc to gang up on aliens with, or someone of relative strength and ability if he was going up against an opponent. I'd love to put him against Gene actually, they'd have a great time and then drink a lot afterwards. Instant bezzie mates.

[never_promised]

Now I'm picturing Valjean having a super serious Talk at the aliens, while like Hotspur or some other small perpetually angry person is sort of tucked under his arm flailing.

.......okay i forgot what account i was logged into, but now Hal is picturing this and it's even funnier

[never_shall_yield]

OH MY GOD. You know Valjean would do that too, and be completely calm about it. *loves him*

Also, lol'ing forever. :D

[athelstanthescribe]

Bonus points if the small perpetually angry person is Stitch.

[merryeccentricities]

I love that Javert and Bahorel both want to break each other's skulls SO MUCH and caaaan't without just the right circumstances because STUPID INTERNAL MORALITY. >:[

[never_shall_yield]

MORALITY IS THE WORST.

But heh, I'm sure we'll find those circumstances. :D

[genarti]

HA, Bruce. Yeah, Thor is totally up for that.

...I mean, Thor is totally up for a friendly bout with the Hulk any day of the week, but he's also totally up for teaming up against these aliens who think that a) they have any authority over him at all, let alone to aim him like a weapon as they choose, and b) they can put people who don't want a friendly fight in an arena. (The priority of those two points of indignation probably ought to be reversed, ethically speaking, but... it's not.)

[never_shall_yield]

I can just see these aliens standing up, giving a WE RULE YOU NOW, AND YOU WILL FIGHT speech. And Bruce just raising his eyebrows, because really? And when they tell him to pick someone, he just immediately flicks his gaze over to Thor and shrugs a bit, like they asked for it and seeing Thor grin and knowing he's down. :D

And, dude. Of course it's not.

[genarti]

*CACKLES* That is pretty much exactly how it'd go down, oh man.

*pats Thor and his prickly pride*

[genarti]

...Okay but can you imagine if Enjolras and Javert got put together??

If the other one started it they would both follow up on it with grim satisfaction, BUT NO. Instead they'll just stand there staring icily at each other and daring the other person to morally lower themselves first until they're dragged away from the booing crowd for being a complete and boring disappointment.

[never_shall_yield]

*DYING* That is exactly what would happen. They are ridic. And I bet if the aliens yelled at them to get on with it they'd both just stare at the aliens for a while too, then go back to glaring at each other. :D

[genarti]

And Enjolras could probably arrange a temporary team-up with nearly anyone else, but Javert would take it as a POINT OF PRIDE to not join this rebel in insurrection even against gladiatorial aliens. YOU MAY REBEL AGAINST YOUR BETTERS IF YOU WISH, SCHOOLBOY, BUT I WILL BE STANDING ON MY PRINCIPLES says Javert, flagrantly disobeying said authority but (for the key difference) being cranky at a lawbreaker while he does so.

[never_shall_yield]

People do not understand how important it is to be cranky at a lawbreaker while being properly obedient to authority. It's an oft-overlooked factor. *sage*

[harryhotspur]

Hotspur says HENRY MONMOUTH, PRINCE OF WALES and God bless these aliens, I laud them, I praise them.

Viola, panicking, would possibly choose that Alan guy-- he's a squire, he'll know how to make it look real without actually hurting anybody.

My others would probably just try to find a way to hide and avoid the whole thing.

[never_promised]

NO PROBLEM, says Henry Monmouth, Prince of Wales. Not in italicized allcaps underlined bold, but he can respect Percy's choice of font.

[harryhotspur]

Really we should all be imagining everything Harry does in all-caps, bold, italics, and underlined at all times, but.

[the_lioness]

Alanna: Clearly she would try to turn the tables on the aliens, so she'd want: Brienne, Tavi, Carol Danvers, X.

Thayet: She'd want to save the day with Tavi and 'Alan,' though she couldn't t tell 'Alan' why, of course. Possibly Ysalwen, too!

Grace: Earl and Raph, with Stiles thrown in for distraction's sake.

Lana Kane: Archer, and they'd wing it. She's not above shooting him if needed.

Lizzie: Will, James, and Captain Jack. Getting the band back together, or something. Also Will and James are already dead, so...

Doctor Evil: He'd try to weasel out by pitting the Tracksuits against all of the patrons who have declined to be his minions. There are a lot. They are all insolent.

[brobrobrobrobro]

"Bro! We fight everyone."

"Always win, bro."

"Ha ha, bro."

"Is guns in fight, bro?"

"Sure, bro."

[alexiscartwheel]

Lady Mary politely declines to participate in this event. Call her back when you start Three Day Eventing Club.

Stiles would choose to fight X, were he actually fighting, because he knows she could make it look like a good fight without actually hurting him too much. Grace for ill-advised alien toppling plans. Possibly both of those things happening simultaneously. :D

Carol really needs to meet MCU Thor. Because boy howdy could they put on an impressive show fight slash alien overthrow. But Carol and Alanna's swordfight will also distract the aliens from their true plans :D

[genarti]

omg yessssss. Why have we not had them meet already?? (Because RL busyness, presumably, but STILL.)

[camwyn]

I can't figure out who most of mine would call for. Wee Mad Arthur is cackling too loudly and yelling about how he'll take the lot of yez on for me to hear the rest.

[bjornwilde]

I'm going to go ahead and assume this is possible with my more potent pups.

The Luidaeg: She would immediately chose to fight Quentin so that she could put him to sleep and out of the whole affair right away. I haven't played her enough to decide who'd be next.

Ahsoka: Right now would chose Asajj and they would both be plotting how to make the alien's day horrible. Once Ahsoka finds out Anakin is in bar, he would be on the team in a heart beat.

Asajj: Pretty much the same answer, though Quinlan would be on the team as well.

Quinlan: Ibani, Asajj, and Ahsoka. (Assuming older Quin for this, so no Anakin as of yet).

Selina: Jay, William, Dick and Fry. Fry so they can watch out for him, Dick and William for much the same reason (though she is sure they would be good in a fight), and Jay because he would know how to get them out of the situation.

Briareus: Jay, so they can stall while Jay's drones gather intel.

Hank: Erik. Mostly so they can stall the aliens, but also so he'd have the excuse to hit Erik. ; p

Rollo: Anyone. He might chose his brother both for the excuse to slug him and that he knows his brother can take it.

Sam: Steve and, of course, they'd be plotting how to turn the tables. Jay would be a close second.

Izana: I'm not getting a choice from them.

[merryeccentricities]

ahahah oh geez

Joly Does Not Want This. He's 5'2" of total lack of fury. He'd ask for a friend who'll let him take a dive, or be capable of knocking him out mercifully, if the aliens insist on a real to-the-injury thing. Bahorel or Enjolras or Courfeyrac or Combeferre, probably (look, he KNOWS Combeferre knows how to medically knock someone out).

(Comedy option says Autor. The aliens can watch them apologetically flail at each other for a while, and maybe that'll be funny enough to count?!?)


Bahorel- if fighters only get one fight, then Enjolras, or Thor, if he's there, and they can take the chance to try and go Gladiator Revolt on the aliens.

If fighters get MORE than one fight: Javert. Come on, Javert. He hates Gene Hunt too, but it's a cheerful hate and at least Hunt's enough of a person to go ahead and fight him. Javert offends him existentially and Javert won't fight. COME ON, ALIENS. LET THIS HAPPEN.

[never_shall_yield]

Gene will happily fight Bahorel, at any time. :D

Javert less so, but if the aliens force them...

[clayforthedevil]

Well I mean if there's all-powerful aliens then whatever can they do? Woe is them, etc etc, needs must, *mortal kombat theme starts up*

[maid_of_tarth]

Combeferre: Enjolras or Bahorel. Of COURSE Combeferre is trying to stop the aliens. He has scientific knowledge and planning ability, so someone who could add excellent fighting skills and/or tactics to that would be great.

Jehan Prouvaire: Bahorel or Enjolras, because they're good fighters and valuable for any alien-stoppage, and because they're both DRAMATIC in their own ways. Prouvaire would want not only to stop the aliens but to have it be a poetic, inspirational show.

Brienne: Alanna if we're in Milliways. They're not only friends, but Alanna is an almost-knight, meaning she's a fighter with a code of honor Brienne intuitively understands. If we're in Brienne's world, Jaime for preference but Pod would be a reluctant second choice (reluctant since he's a kid). Not Hyle, who Brienne would suspect of making a deal with the aliens.

[mnt_mike]

Bumi - Would probably choose anyone from home that was within arms reach, barring them, the people he knows best: Santo and

Mike, Splinter, and Raph all choose each other, because no one knows their tricks like they do.

The Loompas take Bucky Barnes, because he owes them one.

[onceaviking]

This has happened in canon, sans aliens.
Eric had to fight Pam.

[genarti]

Enjolras says OH HELL NO with every fiber of outrage in him, which is a lot. (If they were just situationally compelling him and some other fighters or something, he'd be annoyed and would try to refuse, but he'd be more willing to (grumpily) spar. But if it's everyone at Milliways, please welcome your new gladiatorial overlords? Oh hell no.) So: Bahorel, probably, for the overthrow option.

He would not select Javert for a round first, but if Bahorel wanted to Enjolras is willing to be persuaded to wait that long.

Cosette: What. No. Why do they want Cosette to fight?? Valjean has already scaled a wall with her in a daring escape or something at this point.

But setting that aside: she would try to pick someone who would join her in standing in the middle of the arena upbraiding aliens until they got carted off as Boring Now.

Thor: X-23, Diana, Bruce Banner, Ysalwen, Ellen Park, wow this is a hilarious proportion of characters played by Lynne. Anyway! He would be in annoyed rebellion because a) they do not have any authority over him, how dare they pretend they do, and b) all the peaceable people being compelled to fight need someone to stand up for them. (Those principles should maybe be switched in priority, but they wouldn't be. No random would-be conqueror gets to command Odin's son.) So: overthrow, but he's totally willing to have a friendly bout or two for the fun of it first.

Kazul: Hmmm. Hasn't been around long enough to really have a good handle on the capabilities and allegiances of many people here. Probably Twilight Sparkle and/or Ysalwen: they seem sensible, and they can work magic.

Trowa: Another Gundam pilot, or X. He's in it to overthrow too, but he's willing to play a longer game than most of mine. (To judge by canon, he's probably managed to infiltrate the aliens' guards, somehow. Duo is probably going to end up getting punched to maintain cover. (VAGUELY) SORRY DUO.)

River: Of the people currently coming to Milliways: Galadan. No contest. She'd be willing if need really be to have a demo fight or two first with somebody she couldn't possibly accidentally kill.

[ceitfianna]

Will would pick Atton or Doc in Bar and Little John at home and there would be fighting and overthrowing.

Charles would choose Erik and it would end badly for the aliens, in terms of Bar, he would go with X.

Quentin would go with Alan for fighting while plotting and the Luidaeg for taking them out. If at home, Raj and know that Toby is up to something.

Sameth would pick Nick or Kait, because the two of them know him better than anyone and they would be able to get a plan together.

William would really like to punch Ben Wade and knows if they had to fight, they would also find a way to get out of it as Wade's good at that.

Jane is unsure about the fighting but she would pick Tom since he likes fighting and would know how to make it look real and she'd outwit the aliens.

Ivan would go with Miles and pity the poor aliens when they're working together. In terms of who he knows in Bar, that's a little trickier but I could see him going with Ibani.

Demeter would say no and turn the aliens into trees.

Tumnus would get Lucy and be scared about all of it and I don't know who he would choose in Bar. He wouldn't want to put anyone into that position.

[chanter1944]

Sariel is breaking out the thoroughly unimpressed/furious reaction here. A hostile takeover, captivity, and forced combat on top of it? Oh no you don't. She'd pick Will Scarlett, Yrael, Leela Sevateem, BJ Blazkowicz (she's seen all four of them in combat of one type or other) or possibly River Tam to overthrow the aliens with. Possibly Scurlock too, now I think about it. Also possibly Kirk, who just occurred to me. There would be much toppling of alien occupation forces, yes.

[have_no_mercy]

Tess is more the infiltrate and influence from within type. Either that or she'll just call in Clark and have a drink while he takes care of things.

[last_kallig]

Quinlan Voss and Garyn are the people she trusts the most. She'd be aiming to overthrow the aliens or at least make them VERY sorry they ever found Milliways.

It's AMAZING how much chaos two fighting force sensitives can create if they've a mind to. Chaos in which no one might notice Garyn sneaking around to accomplish the REAL objectives.

[cassiefuckingcage]

Cassie: A series of one-on-one fights, huh? Wouldn't know anything about that. Anyway, prepare to get bodied, Voodoo.

(She might also team up with her mother to try and overthrow the aliens, but the opportunity would just be too tempting to pass up).

Garyn: Ibani would know the way out of it. He'd go along with whatever her plan was. Failing that, he could take Javert.

Raiden: Would point out that to put a mortal against a god would be less than sporting, and request to be paired with a similar entity, like Djehuty or Thor. He would then try to find a way to wriggle out and stop the aliens. (If he could do so at all, though, he would opt not to participate and provide aid for someone else's crazy coup plan).

Sheogorath: He would loudly challenge Malacath. He would promptly fight the nearest person to him on the grounds that they are clearly Malacath in disguise.