ways_back_room | Daily Entertainment

Assuming Chuck's worst still-living enemy is Raleigh, and the timeline is recently post-bombing: He convinces Mako he's briefly possessed Raleigh, pets his dog a lot, and avoids his dad.

He might leave him a letter but he can't just like show up briefly and then CRY at the man, that's like. That's the worst option. Obviously. Nobody deserves to have to deal with that. His dad's got, like, way more important things to deal with anyway.

If Clint was switched with Loki, post Avengers, I think he'd just sit in the corner of his cell and be silent. And if anyone came to speak to him he'd respectfully be like "Hi, is there some bullshit going on, because I don't know why I'm here." But without anyone showing up, it'd take him longer than 24 hours rn to take initiative on finding stuff out.

Sebastian's enemy is THE SEA (Luidaeg? Haha). He would just slosh around, puzzled.

Melinda May, where she is in canon, has no current enemies. If in the future: she'd do everything she could to dismantle their operations from the inside. And some tai chi while figuring out how to do this, because it's a good way to adapt to a new body.

Quatre doesn't have enemies! If it was a corporate enemy CEO, he'd call in a sick day, and immediately contact his sisters about locking his current body out of things until moving forward. Thankfully, they're all empaths, so they probably pick up something weird happening already. Then he'd just, um, get a hotel room and catch up on reading some books.

Helen is currently most angry at her own god, which is awkward. If she switched places with him I think she'd first panic and find some bugs to commune with, and then mostly just wander around his world trying to find a way out.

Darcy would collect blackmail material. She doesn't have any current enemies, but you can always use blackmail material.

... uh, I guess John Connor's worst living enemy is SkyNet. He'd self destruct.

Legolas doesn't really have... worst enemies. Like, all orcs are his enemy. All dragons are his enemy. Okay, lets be real, if he switched places with Smaug he'd find the Arkenstone and put it somewhere he could find later because shiiiiiiny. Since that's what it does to everyone.

Edited (spelling!) 2015-09-24 06:40 (UTC)

I GENUINELY CAN'T DECIDE WHO HOTSPUR'S WORST ENEMY IS but then I realized the answer is basically the same for both: if he found himself as either King or Prince Henry, he would attempt to abdicate in favor of Edmund Mortimer. ...He would also steal a horse to bring to Milliways.

~~If he bodyswapped with his dad, he'd have some thinking to do. And then would probably get piss drunk and try to ruin his dad's reputation in revenge.~~

Viola doesn't really have an enemy as such, though Olivia could be seen as her rival, sort of. She'd use the opportunity to tell Orsino face-to-face that no, she (Olivia) is never going to marry him, please just give up.

If Arabella were switched with the Gentleman, assuming she also had his powers, Stephen and Emma free (and herself, if she could find some way to manage it). If Segundus were switched with Mr Norrell, he'd open up his library to the public.

Liz's worst enemy is... idk, capitalism?

re: Viola: Not even Malvolio?

She only ever really meets him that one time! She thinks he's annoying, but she'd be closer to calling Sir Andrew her enemy, since he keeps trying to fight her (though she hasn't met him yet, where she is in canon right now).

Anakin would claim Dooku is, or one could argue Palpatine is; Vader would claim Obi-Wan is, later Palpatine. In general, he'd plan to steal secrets, destroy battle plans, and Vader would set up power to devolve to him. None of this applies in reality, however. Why, you do not ask because you know this story?

Anakin is his own worst enemy.

So, uh...

Develop massive dissociation, go power mad, go on a killing spree, have a decades-long temper tantrum, eventually kill himself saving his son?

Gordon and Shephard both more or less share a worst enemy. If Gordon wound up bodyswapped with the G-man, he'd wig out- very quietly- and then attempt to find out what the hell that thing is and who/what it works with, what it's capable of, etc. Shephard would do much the same thing but would make a point of screwing up its life and then punching himself in the face first. There is a very real possibility that he would set up a fatal or near-fatal accident to happen via dead-man's switch the instant he swapped back out of the body, too.

Ellen does not really have a worst enemy right now that she knows of, since hers are all dead. If we are to count the leadership of the Outcast faction that has entered Philly's borders as her worst enemies, she'd run up a flag of truce as fast as possible and try to arrange twenty-four hours of Nobody Is To Strongarm Anybody Right Now, Do You Hear Me. Also she'd have Dogmeat shadow whoever-it-was in her body and jump on them if they tried anything stupid.

Fawkes doesn't really have a worst enemy ever since what happened to Vault 87.

Stacker would take the opportunity to loudly and vigorously denounce the remaining members of the UN council for their short-sighted idiotic defunding of the Jaeger Program, since his worst enemy in his own dimension would be whoever pushed hardest for the Wall. Alternatively he'd take the opportunity to remember, record, and relay as much as humanly possible from the kaiju masters' dimension, and then head for Milliways for WE DO NOT HAVE TIME, THEY KNOW EVERYTHING recruiting.

Varric.... would go looking for Hawke and some competent mages, because his worst enemy just at the moment might be his brother, and Bartrand passed the madness event horizon a while ago and is busily accelerating. Hawke's gonna need some help dealing with that. If Bartrand's condition and withdrawal from society invalidates his status as enemy then Varric's gonna be in the body of some Dwarven Merchants' Guild hotshot, which means it's time to gather as much blackmail info as possible, and possibly replace a substantial portion of the Guild files with badly written porn before he's done.

Edward Kenway would gather secrets, plans, and money from the stores of the rather weird English nobleman he'd been swapped with, because he still doesn't really grasp the whole Assassin/Templar thing and is entirely out for himself.

I need to watch a few more Santo movies to figure out who his worst enemy is. Right now, judging by his filmography, it's either someone in the Mafia (Santo contra los asesinos de la mafia), a figure called the King of Crime (Santo contra el rey del crimen), Dracula himself (Santo and Dracula's Treasure, Santo y Blue Demon vs Drácula y el Hombre Lobo), or some evil scientist. Either way he'd use it as an opportunity to uncover as many of his enemy's plans as possible so that he could thwart them later.

Wee Mad Arthur would attempt to get drunk. This is something of a default setting regardless of who the enemy actually is.

And given this is Wee Mad Arthur, that enemy when then wake with the kind of hangover which would leave them regreting ever gaining Arthur's notice.

Edited 2015-09-24 16:16 (UTC)

The one problem I think he'd really have is that he'd be SERIOUSLY put out at how expensive it is to get drunk when you're a bigjob, compared to paying for a pint or two and having enough booze to be blitzed for the evening.

I think we need a followup DE about how the people your pup knows would react to this bodyswap. Because Alyx + Gman in Gordon's body = ALL OF THE NOPE.

Luidaeg: Without giving away a major plot point, get elfshot by the most potent mix she can find. It is debatable if she could manage this though.

Ahsoka: Not sure about who her worse enemy would be. Barriss or Asajj immediately come to mind as personal enemies. Or Dooku for the general. Tarkin is another, at least later in the canon. As to what she would do...again, I am not sure. Any suggestions?

Rollo: Going with right now? I'd say Jarl Borg and he would order his men to leave Kattegat or surrender himself to Ragnar. Although, Rollo would be worried that Borg is in his body back with Ragnar.

Selina: She actually doesn't have a specific enemy. The system is her enemy. Screw The Man!

More later maybe.

...Can I just say I have this hilarious mental image of Vader and Ahsoka swapped and I'm just, like, laughing hysterically now?

[insert gif of Ahsoka screaming from Siege of Lothal.]

First would be the disorientation of losing her innate echolocation. Then would be the shock and pain of being in Vader tortured body. Then would be the worry her body was somewhere that Vader would be able get Intel against the rebels. Then she would finally think to look for Empire secrets.

CW era would be first weirded out by the lose of the echolocation, then the height difference. Then...I don't know to be honest.

BTW I'm on my phone and tagging is awkward. I will tag Anakin back later tonight.

Edited 2015-09-24 23:51 (UTC)

See, if this happened, I think Vader would legitimately be so flummoxed for a while at being in a) a functional body again, b) a non-human body with its skills, c) a FEMALE BODY WHAT IS THIS, and c) Ahsoka's body that he might even take a little longer than he really should to get his competence on.

...He's never been very good at coping.

And he might forget to eat. Been a while since he ate anything.

Also, no sweat, take your time!

Yeah. To be honest, I think hunting for Imperial secrets would be her ignoring the whole situation.

Hmm. Who is Gene's worst enemy? I'm not even sure. Whoever it is, he'd publicly embarrass them as much as possible, and spend the next day laughing his arse off about it.

Javert - hi Enjolras! Guess who's collecting details of every name, every underground cell member, every meeting place, every illegal cache of weapons, and...having a moral crisis over what to do with them the next day. What would Valjean do, is the thing? Either way you, sir, are compromised.

Valjean has no worst enemy. Ofc, it could be argued that both his and Javert's worst enemy are themselves, which makes me laugh. I suppose there's Thenardier, as that guy knows who he really is and isn't afraid to use that info. If he swapped with him, he'd spend the day being nice to his kids and giving them money to get away from the real Thenardier the next day. Or send them away to school, where their dad couldn't find them.

Courfeyrac - worst enemy? Courfeyrac? What?

I mean, there are plenty of people/things he gets mad at, but his worst enemy is OPPRESSION and that would be a weird thing to swap into.

Bruce Wayne would swap with Falcone at this point, and go and hand him into the cops.

Bruce Banner would swap into the Hulk, just for a change, and SMASH.

Pearly would swap into Peter Lake, and be utterly freaked out by being in a body that people didn't recoil from in terror. He'd use it to try and find the magic horse and get rid of it for good, or y'know, just go and get drunk and pull women with the pretty-boy's face.

Jim would change into Sherlock, and think of new and interesting ways to ruin him.

Not if it's in Milliways! :D Assuming it's a body swap without the person's memories being viewable also -- if he can see all Enjolras's memories, then yeah, lots has just been compromised oh man.

In this situation, however, at least some of Javert's ability to make use of this information will also be compromised, because Enjolras would 1) pull all the Amis together right away for a very fast council on what to do, 2) (simultaneously) have a lot of moral wrestling over how much he was willing to do in this inherently-spying situation, and 3) no matter what else he did, go back to Paris to (have a billion Paris feelings and also) do his level best to completely ruin Javert's credibility as an informant and witness.

This is true! I didn't consider the Milliways aspect of it. Though he would not, of course, admit to the swap once he realised what was going on, and would probably use it to try and get info out of the other Amis while he could. And probably laugh at Enjolras' attempts to get the Amis together while looking like him, at least until he'd managed to convince them of the truth.

I am laughing at both of them having some degree of moral difficulty with this, but ultimately (probably) deciding that the greater need outweighs their own misgivings. They are so similar in some ways. *pats them*

But yeah, with the Milliways variable the advantage probably lies with Enjolras, Javert would be (presumably) stuck in the bar.

I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be able to laugh too long, which is in a way a pity because it would make for hilarious farce! But all the Amis have been at Milliways for long enough to get over the initial weirdness hurdle pretty fast (at least to the point of believing it -- it'd still be weird.) And I'm very sure Enjolras has ways of rapidly establishing his identity to his BFFs who are fellow leaders of their secret society that Javert couldn't know, even if it's weird to have to do them face-to-face.

...Mind you, what would also be hilarious would be seeing how the light could sparkle off Javert's hair. *solemn* With the gleaming symbolic glow of republican fervor!! And you'd better believe I would run with that, because I find it way too funny not to.

There would totally be moral difficulty. :D There are definitely some things Enjolras wouldn't do, some things he'd do but would condemn himself for doing, aaaaaand some things he'd be fine with. Ruining Javert's credibility goes in category 3, at this point.

It would be a pity, indeed! :D I am all for farce, and particularly when it involves Enjolras in Javert's body. :D :D :D

...OH MY GOD. I want bodyswap plot immediately, for that reason alone. *dying*

(Needless to say, if Javert could ruin Enjolras's credibility, he'd be fine with it too. Personal difficulties for an enemy do not worry him in the least, only the wider immorality of it.)

Have you seen the Marius-Enjolras bodyswap ficlet that someone (Elenchus, I think) did a while back?

(Right, of course!

Admittedly Enjolras would be nowhere near so willing to act like that against someone who wasn't a spy. Against a forthrightly monarchist government minister or something -- no, he would absolutely draw some moral lines there. But against Javert, well.)

NO. But man, that sounds like something I need in my face at once! Not as much as I need Javert with hair shining with revolutionary light, BUT A CLOSE SECOND.

(Obviously against Javert. This makes sense. Whereas any revolutionary, no matter what their standing in other aspects of life, is immediately a criminal and therefore...well, you don't need me to explain.)

...wtf DW, I posted this about three hours ago, why did you not show up? Rubbish.

In which case, now that I'm home, I am delighted to link you to its glory.

(Right, of course.)

DW! Bah and wtf.

We could always resurrect Anthy's curry somehow.

We could! There's enough new pups that maybe they haven't been warned about it enough.

Somebody finds a box of curry powder in the back of a kitchen cupboard...

hey, if you need someone canonically prone to mistaken identity farce to set this off...

Oh man, I would love to see Enjolras acting like Javert in Paris.

Sadly, I think there would not be much farce to be had over Enjolras in Javert's body in Milliways, since as you say, Enjolras would tell the Amis right away, and it would be PRETTY BELIEVABLE even without the Milli-weirdness factor, because...an Outburst of Soul from Javert's mouth would be kinda decisive. Not much farce--but PLENTY of other humor!

(Also the glow.)

What about Falcone knowing Bruce's secret afterward?

Depends whether he would! If it's a case of Falcone's mind remaining his own, and not garnering Bruce memories/knowledge which (I presumed) stay with him, then he wouldn't know how to find the Batcave. I guess he'd have to make sure Alfred didn't say anything, but no one else knows.

But really, this could be asked of any worst enemy Bruce swapped places with. He'd just have to deal with it.

I am going to imagine him hanging out with X when bodyswap occurs. Just for shits and giggles. Like, when Falcone is all of a sudden in Bruce Wayne's body.

<__<

AHAHAHA. Oh man. Awkward. Particulary as a) I doubt X would be fooled for more than a second or two, and b) Bruce would be really pissed off about suddenly finding himself in some dive somewhere when he was hanging out with X. Yuk.

I'm just cackling at the idea of Javert-in-Enjolras's-body being called upon to deliver a speech on the virtues of liberty, equality, and fraternity.

Aang: THE SOCIAL CHANGES THAT AANG WOULD MAKE IN THE FIRE NATION PRETENDING TO BE OZAI WOULD BE STAGGERING.

Bumi: I'd like to think Bumi would do something similar if he woke up in Amon's shoes. Only, he'd be far more slick about it, because he's a grown man and not an idealistic 11 year old boy. I think Bumi would push for the same goals as Amon says he's for, but he'd actually be a non-bender fighting for them.

First and foremost though....he'd stand in front of a mirror, take off and take off Amon's mask to see who he really is. Only to say: I have no idea who this is, a la Lex Luthor in Justice League.

Ysalwen at the moment would swap with the Architect, and learn so much from Utha that . . . .what is going to happen without that will happen anyway. So. Yes.

X would swap with . . . . oh god. Um. Soon it will be Arcade, but right now probably Daken. She'd call her own cell phone and be all 'Daken. We have a problem. Meet me in Madripoor.' And then they would figure it out.

Nynaeve would swap with one of the Forsaken, probably Semirhage. She would be so bad at pretending to be Semirhage. Oh my god. I can't even. She would not have time to learn anything before getting found out, setting things on fire, and fleeing.

Michael would . . . be God, I guess? And probably get in touch with Lucifer to be all 'okay, time do get the rewriting started'. *hands*

Dean would . . . . be Lilith or Lucifer, and would take this time to screw with their operation SO BAD. SO SO SO BAD. SMOKING CRATER BAD. NO MINIONS LEFT SORRY. Or Ruby, I guess, which has a high chance of being SO SO SO AWKWARD EW.

Wonder Woman would oh god I don't even know. Swap with Ares? Swap with . . . . Zeus? *hands* She'd try to get new people in positions of power in Olympus, at least. Athena was pretty great as a leader that one time. Maybe her!

Galadan . . . . . I don't think he has any living nemeses left. I guess he and Paul could swap? And . . . . then he could ask Jaelle to send him wherever he left his body so he could fetch Paul? Uh.

Raven would be himself, but madder than usual, burning worlds down behind him as he went. So how about we don't.

If Diana swapped with Doctor Psycho, things could get squicky pretty fast.

That is one reason I didn't choose Doctor Psycho.

I'm trying to decide who Tess' greatest enemy is. Everything with her is just so complicated.

Whoo boy.

Bahorel has such an enemies list, but really, there's only one person he was willing to die trying to get rid of. Hello, King Louis-Phillipe! Enjoy your newly destroyed reputation and sundered political alliances when you get back!

Joly has the opposite problem. There's people he doesn't much like, and of course he's against any monarch, but...enemies? If whatever agency is arranging this is going by who he's spent the most time personally annoyed by and cursing, Joly's probably going to wake up in the body of a fairly inoffensive but academically frustrating medical professor. Which will be amazing! He can pass on so many things he's learned from Milliways, and he *knows* the right way to write these things, and how to set up experiments to prove them. And he can write them all as someone who's got social clout! Yes! Victory!
(and also that will distract him from completely freaking out about how this happened and how he's going to get home!)

Edited 2015-09-24 21:31 (UTC)

oh my god joly bless you

Ibani might not have a body to go back to, if she swapped with anyone. Khem Val is always nearby, and the only thing keeping him from killing and eating her is their bond. If the bond is transferred along with her mind, well, whoever is in that body isn't his master and he's free to kill them. If it breaks, he can kill and eat anyone he pleases.

Oh, ouch.

Yup! Which is why Ibani's advice to any Force sensitives visiting her time will include 'If I die, RUN, get back to Milliways'.

Clem: Racks up the moral charges, then arrests them.

Juliet: would probably take Yang straight to the police station. She's miss justice down to a tee.

Eponine: Would shove her father into the priesthood because she's terrible.

Dixie: Doesn't have many mortal enemies. She'd have a hell of a good time with him tho.

Pinkie: STUFF THEM FULL OF CANDY AND MAKE THEM DANCE

Daily Entertainment

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject