Thursday DE: paging Pandora

[needsmoreresearch]

DON’T OPEN THE BOX, says the label on the box sitting on a table in the middle of the bar.

DON'T OPEN THE BOX

....Does your character open the box? And since I'm sure at least half of them will--what would they find in there that would make them regret their decision?

(I figure you can answer with IC fic or OOC or whatever you're feeling!)

Comments

[never_promised]

Hal opens the box. Inside it is his father's crown. "Aw, fuckdammit," says Hal, only he says it in Elizabethan English.

Then he puts it on anyway just for a test drive I mean it's still pretty awesome to be king even when it sucks, let's go invade France.

[merryeccentricities]

Darn it, Hal.

[merryeccentricities]

Bahorel:
Look obviously if someone says Don't Open The Box you're going to open the box. No Tyranny of Signs!
...Inside is his diploma, apparently awarded posthumously. THE HORROR.

Joly is of course not going to open someone else's box! That would be very rude. Okay, look, if it's just gonna go sitting there he might scan it from the outside, give it an xray or something, but he's not gonna open it. (Which is good, since it would be full of horrible infectious diseases.)

[never_promised]

ahahaaaaaabahorel

(thank you for not releasing a fun variety-pack of infectious disease, Joly)

[genarti]

AHAHAHAHA oh my god, Bahorel. And then the box is on fire, or...?

[tu_vas_triompher]

Feuilly doesn't open the box. Are you kidding? In this place? It's probably full of bees. Robotic bees from another universe that turn you into a cat when they sting you.

Lesgle doesn't mean to open the box, but someone bumps into the table it's on, sending it flying into his arms, where the top just pops open. It is full of bees. Just regular bees, though, nothing as cool as robotic bees from another universe that turn people into cats.

[livinginmyglass]

(i am cracking up)

[camwyn]

Gordon doesn't open the box. He doesn't even touch it. He picks it up with the Gravity Gun and passes it off to D0G to take to the nearest available lab for examination by an appropriately careful scientist other than him, and then feels rather foolish when he finds out it contained a surprise birthday or anniversary present from Alyx.

Shephard doesn't open the box unless it has visible airholes. He does shake it, though. As long as it's not ticking or something.

... actually, most of mine are of the pick it up and shake it school. Except Wee Mad Arthur, who wouldn't open it so much as cut or tear a hole in the side and climb in, and then whatever was in there would get a faceful of heid.

[never_promised]

.....what you're saying is the next person opens the box and gets Wee Mad Arthur as well as whatever was there before, and BOY do they regret it?

[genarti]

Heeeeee, Gordon.

And HEEEEE, Wee Mad Arthur. Yes, this seems like a choice that both what's in the box and whoever next opens the box will regret.

[a1enzo]

Enzo attempts to scan the box. He probably fails, since he can't scan matter and what are the odds around here, so he puts the box behind the bar, puts a note on the table and another on the bulletin board telling whoever left it where their box is, just in case, and consults with the rest of Security before acting further.

This is Milliways, people.

[bjornwilde]

Ahsoka: Would never open it. She is a good jedi and follows instructions well. OK, I have no idea what young Ahsoka would find. Older Ahsoka finds her padawan beads and a certain strong Force presence (*cough* Vader's *cough*) attached to them.

Luidaeg: I don't think she'd open it, tbh. She'd freeze it in a block of ice or bind it in her strongest enchantments, and stash it somewhere. She knows far too well how such things can go down.

I'm not getting any other answers.

[forceimbalance]

Good Jedi follow instructions on a box saying not to open it? But where's the spirit of adventure?

[shes_so_fetch]

May: Doesn't open the box. In Faerie, shit like that is labeled for a reason. It'll probably kill you. By necessity, she probably has to be part of Team "Toby Don't Open The Box."

Carol: Will opening the box potentially save the world? If so, dire consequences be damned, she's opening the box. No regrets.

Stiles: Opens the box.

Mary: Doesn't open the box. It's not her box, and things around here have weird effects.

Tracksuit Draculas: Don't open the box. They shoot it instead.

[1nv1nc1ble]

Tracksuit Draculas: Don't open the box. They shoot it instead.

Waste of a good bottle of vodka, bro.

[1nv1nc1ble]

Invincible opens the box, but only after taking it where no one can get hurt. It probably explodes, given his luck. His uniform is ruined, again.

[genarti]

Hee hee hee. These things do happen remarkably often.

[genarti]

Enjolras does not open the box. Either it's Milliways weirdness or it's a joke, very possibly perpetrated by one of his friends, which he would probably not appreciate even if he got it.

(Which is good, because it contains shippy fanfic.)

Cosette is tempted. But she doesn't open the box. It seems rude, or possibly a prank.

...Unless it's her father's handwriting. If it's her father's handwriting, she's really really tempted, and if she can do it without anybody noticing she might, at this point in their lives.

But it's not her father's handwriting, so. (And it's either a copy of Les Mis, or just a prank thing that squirts ink and will ruin her dress.)

Kazul... hmm. Well. Kazul would scoff at someone else for opening the box if it went poorly and she felt like being disapproving of their judgment... but if it's her, oh, come on, she's totally opening the box.

It probably contains magically shrunk wizards. And then the barroom is on fire because of Kazul's sneezing fit.

Thor, oh geez. See the issue here is primarily one of diplomacy versus impulse control. On someone else's ground: no, you don't go around opening stuff like that, unless it's a scenario where someone's gonna do it and you're all standing around in a circle figuring out who the lucky guinea pig is. In Asgard: yes, he's almost definitely going to open it, and he'll probably regret it. (It's probably not Loki's doing, because it's too unsubtle a bit of reverse psychology for that, but when they were kids he totally did exactly this. And put it on Thor's bed.) In Milliways, it's a grey area.

But he'd probably open it, because someone is going to sooner or later, so it might as well be someone who's physically tough and on Security and has an unassailable ego too. It's practically a responsibility!! (Yes, he's totally curious.)

It contains some kind of childhood possession of Loki's that he did genuinely want to hide away from everybody, when he was young enough that writing DON'T OPEN THE BOX seemed like the best way of ensuring that. And then Thor has to go have a lot of feelings for a long while.

[never_promised]

....oh god, thor, i'm so sorry

[livinginmyglass]

Obviously Hotspur opens the box. It probably contains a satirical ballad from shortly after his death, framing the whole thing as some ridiculous farce (and emphasizing that lol did you hear that old drunk Falstaff apparently killed him?!)

...none of my others would open the box.

[inlovewithwords]

Eriond: Probably does not open the box. He knows what's inside anyway. He might take it off to open in private, or away from where it might harm others if it's deadly. But generally, meh.

Henry: Hmm. Pre-canon, would not open the box. Once he gets into canon, he... might try to get someone else to open the box for him on grounds of 'it is probably plot important!' and if they won't, open it himself. It probably has some widget the bad guys want.

Evelyn: Would also not open the box pre-her game. Or even in the early stages of her game. Eventually she might get a 'well someone's gotta' attitude about it. Whatever it is, it is an Elven artifact that too early on she might cheerfully give to Solas to study. She will regret this later.

Lois: Inside the box is either something full of Awful Feels (like from her mom, or Jonathan), Good Feels (from Chloe or Clark, mostly), hilarity (a prank of some kind), someone's coffee and/or pastry she is now officially stealing (sorry-not-sorry), or a McGuffin with terrible effects and/or that the villains want. (Of course she opens it, she's Lois. She probably shakes it first.)

Tavi: Eh, depends. If it looks like a boring 'do not open,' someone just wanting their stuff left alone, he probably will. If his furycrafting thinks something is odd about it, he'll poke. If his instincts say something is odd, he'll poke. If it looks visually eye-catching and like it is likely to contain an eldritch tome, he'll poke. Probably do some cursory (no pun intended) scanning with furycrafting before going well let's see. No clue what's in it. If it looks too interesting, he'll take it outside, as he is reasonably certain he can handle most things. Maybe pick up a buddy just in case.

Anakin: Is the lord and ruler of terrible life choices. He might leave it alone if it looks boring. More often than not, he'll open it. Even if it's bad, he can handle it, right? Right? No failure modes whatsoever.

Except that part where chances are fairly high whatever it is sends him into a spiral.

[varadia]

Raven eats the box.

Nynaeve ignores the box.

Ysalwen eyes the box warily, keeps Liranan away from it, asks Bar if it belongs to anyone, and then arranges for it to be locked in a metal container at the bottom of the lake. For safekeeping.

Dean opens the box and sees a lock of his mom's hair. Dammit, world. Mean.

X tries to figure out who left the box in order to return it to them. Then she shoves it in the Lost and Found. It ends up being opened by wolves on the New Jersey Turnpike.

Michael opens the box and sees the face of God.

Wonder Woman makes sure no one else opens the box, either, while waiting for its owner to come pick it back up.

Galadan has no interest in other people's stuff, so would not open the box. If he did, though, there would be three obituaries in it.

[ceitfianna]

Will wouldn't open the box, he'd take outside and possibly shoot an arrow at it. If didn't explode then he would use a pike to carefully lever it open. Inside would be various things referencing friends he hasn't seen in a while. Articles about Doc, Kate Bishop and the 101st from the various worlds, then he would be sad and go have a drink.

Charles wouldn't open the box, he'd wish he had telekinesis but he'd watch the box and see what happens if someone else opens it.

Quentin would be another on Team Toby Don't Open the Box and then Team Try Not to Die. Inside would probably be either some horrible curse or something heartbreaking.

William would consider the box, if it has his father's handwriting on it, he'd open it and find something connected to them like a letter or a write up about Ben Wade and feel sad.

Of course, Moist would open the box, not in the main bar, he'd go outside and open it but carefully. Inside he would find a collection of all the warrants for arrest of his various aliases and a letter from his grandparents that never got to him.

Jane would open the box and find inside it a collection of things inspired by her works ranging from murder mysteries starring her to band-aids to clothing and would be fascinated and a little horrified at some of them.

Sameth would see if he could create a Charter spell to either make the box transparent or show him what's in it. Inside he would find a book from the future or the past of the Old Kingdom about Wallmakers, something fascinating but also sad.

Demeter would take the box to Olympus and ask who's idea was this and then possibly lob the box at Zeus. Inside would be something Hermes thinks is funny and it would make a mess in Zeus' beard.

Ivan wouldn't open the box, he'd take it to ImpSec and make them open it. Inside would be something his father wrote.

Tumnus wouldn't open the box, he'd put it in the lost and found and it would end up dropping onto a street in London and bursting open. Inside is a copy of his book History of Narnia that includes the Pevensies disappearing.

[cassiefuckingcage]

Cassie may or may not open the box. Really depends on what it looks like. If anything about it suggests "sealed evil in a can," she's calling in her team to get rid of it. Good thing, too, because it either contains Shinnok or a sex tape of her parents. Even money which is worse.

Garyn has gotten into more than enough trouble in his lifetime. He's not touching the damn thing. The inside of the box is probably the vector for corprus disease, or a Daedric curse.

Raiden takes the box and moves it to a safer place, where no one may open it. Rules exist for a reason. For him, it could only contain Shinnok, or Onaga, or some other kind of long-dormant evil.

Sheogorath is a Daedra. You can pretty much define "Daedra" as "a spirit whose nature prevents them from not opening a box with 'DON'T OPEN THE BOX' written on it." The more horrible the thing inside, the more he would enjoy it. Unless it were a spell that turned him back into Jyggalag. That wouldn't be any fun at all.

[death_gone_mad]

It's painfully obvious that Amascut would open a portal to the fwuffy kitty dimension.

Fairy Fixit would assume it's someone else's box to open. And it is a box full of ridiculous plot armor, so she's going to regret it whether or not she opens it. Of course, she might never find out what is inside, so as long as no one else opens it, she's fine.

[vive_lavenir]

Combeferre opens the box as if on cue. Unless opening the box causes direct and irreversible physical harm to another human being, he won't regret it.

Jehan Prouvaire opens the box as if on cue. Unless opening the box prevents him or someone else from following their passion, he won't regret it.

Brienne of Tarth frowns, considers things, and opens the box. Unless opening the box prevents her from fulfilling one of her oaths, she won't regret it.

[rudderless]

Clementine: Would. And she would not like what's in there.

Dixie: Wouldn't. She'd get someone else to open it for her.

Juliet: Wouldn't. She lives by the rules.

Pinkie: Would nearly EXPLODE FROM CURIOSITY but wouldn't

Eponine: Would, and be horrified by what she's done