Friday DE: Fic Friday (Again)

[bjornwilde]

I'm sure it's midnight, Friday morning somewhere...

Christmas Themed Prompts!
Take your pick or use a random number generator.

1. “It’s Christmas!”
2. “What’s Christmas?”
3. “Okay, but you can’t celebrate the holidays without milk and cookies… right?”
4. “WHERE ARE MY CHRISTMAS STOCKINGS”
5. “Babe, why’d you put the box of ornaments so high on the shelf?”
6. “I got us sweaters!”
7. “I made us sweaters!”
8. “Please don’t tell me those are ugly sweaters,”
9. “You’re not gonna be home for Christmas?”
10. “Baby, please, come home,”
11. “I can’t be here on the 25th.”
12. “Is this Christmas-themed lingerie?”
13. “You’re gonna lose your shit when you see my gift,”
14. “You look like if Santa was a drag queen.”
15. “Why would you eat Taco Bell for Christmas?”
16. “This gift killed me. That’s it. That’s it, I’m dead, I’m deceased, this gift hath slain thyself,”
17. “Where is the Christmas tree? Where are the decorations?”
18. “This bitch is NOT celebrating the holidays alone”
19. “I’m definitely spending the holidays alone,”
20. “Your mouth tastes like gingerbread,”
21. “You have chocolate on your lips”
22. “WHY ARE YOU WEARING SANTA UNDERWEAR”
23. “I put extra bourbon into the eggnog so we can get fucked up”
24. “We finished the gingerbread house! Now we just have to leave it in the–oh okay it just decides to break, okay”
25. “You came back!”
26. “Where are you? You’re two hours late!”
27. “So… many… lights…”
28. “Why do we have two big Santa hats and one small Santa hat? Babe?”
29. “Where are our little elves?”
30. “Mommy/Daddy, is Santa real?”
31. “Did she eat my cookies?”
32. “I almost got ran over by a group of angry mothers in a Toys R’ Us and you’re asking me if I’m okay?”
33. *slaps flour onto face*
34. “Please don’t burn the house down making these cookies,”
35. “BABE STOP OUR CHILD FROM DRINKING THE EGGNOG?”
36. “Is there a genre called sexy Christmas music?”
37. “This snowman look’s like it’s been through a lot,” “No wonder it looks like you, baby,”
38. “My sweater is too big for you,”
39. “Are you wearing my Christmas sweater?”
40. “Did you make cookies for breakfast?”
41. “Let’s stay up until 3 AM this Christmas Eve,”
42. “I DON’T KNOW WHERE TO GET THE GIFT YOUR MOM WANTED”
43. “Uh so for the Christmas exchange I just got potatoes and doodled Santa on them so, Merry Christmas”
44. “I may have gone a little bit extra with the food,”
45. “Whoah, we made decent cookies this time,”
46. “How have we been dating for two years and you still haven’t had hot chocolate with cinnamon?”
47. “I never expected for my Christmas to go like this,”
48. “Nothing about this party is going to plan,”
49. “I think that was salt I put in the red velvet cake instead of sugar,”
50. “I’m regifting this because it’s kind of shit,”
51. “Get me burgers and beer and I’ll be okay this Christmas,”
52. “I can’t believe I’m crying on Christmas,”
53. “This was the best Christmas I’ve ever experienced. Ever.”

Comments

[irish_vagabond]

I feel like at least 95% of these prompts can involve Cassidy in some way. Like seriously, I can hear him saying almost every one of these things. How about someone pick one for him?

[iprotectyou]

42. “I DON’T KNOW WHERE TO GET THE GIFT YOUR MOM WANTED”

[irish_vagabond]

It was the night before Christmas Eve, and Cassidy's cell phone rang for the billionth time as he drove his car out of a parking lot.

"What?" he half whined, half snapped as he answered it while checking for traffic and turning onto a busy street. "Listen-- I'm tryin', okay? Look, I just scoured the third Wal-Mart in eight hours, I'm pretty sure-- Yes, I checked Target, like, five of 'em! An' like, the entire mall! I'm tellin' you, it's not-- I know-- I know-- Bollocks! I just ran a red light. Listen, you're just gonna hafta accept that she's not gonna-- Oh, aye, an' whose fault is that, eh? It's certainly not mine, I'm just doin' you a favor--"

A police car siren squawked, its blue and red lights flashing in the rearview mirror.

"Shite!"

Cassidy quickly pulled over to the side of the road and rolled the window down.

"Look, I hafta-- I just-- can you-- Jaysus fuckin' Christ, I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO GET THE GIFT YOUR MOM WANTED!"

The police officer stared at him.

Cassidy sheepishly stared back. And hung up the phone.

"Sorry."

The officer leaned down toward him, resting an arm on the roof of the car. "So," he began slowly, casually, "what kind of gift does your friend's mom want, exactly?"

Cassidy gave him a pained look and heaved a sigh. "Oh, trust me, officer...you don't wanna know."

"Uh-huh."

Twenty minutes later, Cassidy drove off with a couple of tickets and a warning against last-minute Christmas shopping.

[iprotectyou]

Hahaha! Awesome. Poor Cassidy.

[andinfluencepeople]

50?

[irish_vagabond]

"Merry Christmas, Tulip," said Cassidy as he handed her the little wrapped box, but before she could respond with delight, he added, "Fair warning, though, I'm regifting this because it's kind of shite."

Her expression flattened a bit, but then she shrugged. "As long as it wasn't from me," she said, unwrapping the gift.

It was a scented candle.

A peanut butter scented candle.

"Oh," she remarked, dry, but polite. "Okay. Awesome."

"Hey, wait a sec," Jesse interjected, taking the candle and sniffing it, "didn't you give this to me for my birthday, Cass?"

"Yep," Cassidy replied, unapologetic, "but that was before you gave it to me last Christmas."

Tulip tilted her head in thought. "Huh. So, by that logic, if Jesse hadn't given it back to you, I would've never got it."

She turned to happily kiss Jesse on the lips.

"Thanks, babe," she chirped at him. And she flashed Cassidy a cheeky grin.

Cassidy just rolled his eyes at them and shook his head. "You're welcome."

[andinfluencepeople]

This is delightful!

#47

[irish_vagabond]

So the tree was on fire in the middle of the street and some presents had exploded and the Santa assassins were splayed out bleeding and groaning in pain and one of them was choking on tinsel and another had been stabbed with candy canes.

In the distance, sirens.

"I never expected for my Christmas to go like this,” said Cassidy.

Tulip stuck her gun back into her pants. Jesse wiped the blood off his knuckles. And Cassidy snatched a hat off one of the prostrate Santas, before they all piled into the car and made a break for it.

Re: #47

[sardonicynic]

Oh, this made me grin so hard it hurts. Merry mayhem! PERFECTION. <333

[touched_by_fire]

#14

[childofrebellion]

If you're still doing them, 27.

RNG #49: “I think that was salt I put in the red velvet cake instead of sugar"

[iprotectyou]

Baze has never been the best at Baking, which absolutely deserves its capital letter. He only had a hot plate in his apartment to cook with for the past two decades, lacking the vast, hot ovens of the temple. But Baking is something he's always wanted to learn, and he has the opportunity and the time here at Milliways to learn. All he needs is effort--and the right recipe.

One morning, Baze wakes up at 4:57am with another nightmare, and decides that Baking will be the perfect distraction. Bleary-eyed, he eases out of bed so as not to wake Chirrut. Baze washes his face and heads downstairs. Bar gives him a recipe card for red velvet cake printed in Aurebesh--or so it appears--and a second one for cream cheese frosting.

Red velvet cake? He's never heard of that. Is it actually red? The recipe for the cake takes buttermilk--not blue, which he finds odd--flour, sugar, cocoa powder, vinegar, and prepared coffee, as well as food coloring and some other ingredients.

Okay. He can do this. He slaves in the kitchen, until Chirrut finds him later that morning.

"Chirrut! You have to try my cake!" Baze says eagerly, cutting a slice of the red, cream-cheese-frosted brick.

Chirrut, who prefers unsweetened things, tries the cake valiantly. Baze nearly bites his nails, waiting for his reaction.

"There's something wrong with it," Chirrut says, pulling a face, and Baze's heart sinks.

He tries a slice, and coughs.

"I think that was salt I put in the red velvet cake instead of sugar," Baze says, glancing at the offending block.

He'll have to eat the whole thing anyway. You don't waste food. Baze sighs. Maybe he should just give up on the whole Baking thing.

No, he decides. One failure isn't enough to throw in the towel.

Still. He's not looking forward to choking down the mistake.

Re: RNG #49: “I think that was salt I put in the red velvet cake instead of sugar"

[sunbaked_baker]

Ohh nooooooooo! Sunshine offers all the hugs, and agrees that baking is a good answer to nightmares.

Re: RNG #49: “I think that was salt I put in the red velvet cake instead of sugar"

[iprotectyou]

Baze will take all the hugs! Baking is something he'd like to improve at, but will probably never master. Thanks for reading!

#17

[mogget_cat]

"Where is the Christmas tree? Where are the decorations?"

Yrael quietly sunk down a bit lower on the couch as he heard the words of consternation from somewhere behind him. He was comfortable, rubbing the snoozing Ferdinand's beribboned ears and idly picking bits of tinsel out of Count's fur as the group of worn-out forge cats dozed on him.

He wasn't about to tell.

Re: #17

[iprotectyou]

Ahahaha. What a cat!

#45

[bjornwilde]

The problem with being warriors, is that not only did neither of them understand cooking, they were too stubborn to seek help. They'd looked at recipes of course, they weren't fools, but technique is so hard to carry over in the written word.

The first Christmas, they'd been sick for a few hours after the first batch.

The second the cookies had been so hard they'd proved handy weapons when the gang had attacked with no warning.

The third year, Claire took matters into her own hands and had Luke kidnap Danny for some baking time.

Finally, the fourth year, Danny held the plate out to Colleen with a nervous smile. She picked up a cookie, having to grab another because the first had been very moist and she'd grabbed it too hard. Biting into it, she moaned at little in that way that made Danny think of fun things that didn't involve baking. Then her eyes shoot open in shook.

“Whoah, we made decent cookies this time!”

#18 (Totally cheating but she's on my mind today)

[drowned_in_moonlight]

Luke was off with R2 on some mission and Han was off negotiating with some smugglers to pin down some hyperspace lanes, if not more pilots for the Republic, which left her alone for Life Day. Well, she did have 3PO, but he wasn't the best of company.

She gave him a chance. She'd tried her best, but there is only so long you can listen to the different cultural protocols surrounding Life Day before you want to take a spanner to the speaker.

"That's it, we're going to the hanger," she announced, interrupting 3PO during what was to him a climatic recounting of a war of ettiquette between two families that had lasted generations.

"But your Highness, it just wouldn't be proper!"

“This bitch is NOT celebrating the holidays alone. Come on!"

[ceitfianna]

I really want to write things but I'm kind of tired and can't decide.

Could I get suggestions for Cassian, Charles, Quentin or Demeter? Thank you.

[iprotectyou]

21. “You have chocolate on your lips” for Cassian!

Leverage AU setting

[childofrebellion]

There were some days that Jyn hated her school, her dissertation would honor her mother and Saw's work. She just had to deal with know-it-alls and stupid politics. Her feet hurt as she slipped off her shoes and smelled complex flavors from the kitchen, "Cassian?"

She'd thought that he was flying a job with Bodhi, but these were his flavors.

"Jyn, you can taste. I'm trying a new recipe," His voice carried through her small apartment and Jyn felt warmer, safe, maybe someday she would stop being surprised that he was hers and they were still a them.

In the kitchen, chocolate and spices filled saucepans and bowls, Cassian had flour in his beard as he offered her a spoon of something dark. She closed her eyes as she tasted heat, sweet and then opened her eyes before kissing him. Against his smiling mouth, she said, "Delicious and you have chocolate on your lips."

"Then you'll have to help me clean up," He kissed her and she felt that extra slip from the chocolate between them. He was hers.

Re: Leverage AU setting

[iprotectyou]

Aww, I love this! Domestic Cassian is the best Cassian.

Re: Leverage AU setting

[childofrebellion]

He is, I enjoy writing him.