ways_back_room | Indy and Mike's cocktail party (summary)

I have nothing amusing to say about this summary. It speaks for itself. Thanks to Debi (Mel- and Esk-mun) for her amazing voluntary contributions to this behemoth. Nearly everything before Snow and Bigby's entry is Debi's fine work *clings* That's about it really... thanks again to everyone who made the party what it was!

Indy is manning the drinks table. He and Tim talk about women getting ready before the wizard gives him a tarot reading ~~of doom~~. He schmoops briefly with Lorelai before Meg turns up with her own bodyweight in absinthe. They discuss the dreaded potential clean up operation, and for some reason toast the toilets. Claire brings him food, which is probably a good idea, considering. Cole is told by Indy that Moraine could help him with his demon problem, before Indy is confused by Donkey and molested by Fleur. He's nicely sh*tfaced by the time the funked-out Hyde and Shady find him.

Mike is in charge of the food. He shamelessly flirts with Sara, they discuss food, and then there's even more shameless flirting with cameras and evil shoes of death! Then he ~~shamelessly flirts~~ talks food with Baldrick and reveals the sekrit stash of prohibited cocktail weenies in his bedroom, before cordially inviting him to use the toilet in Indy's room if they affect Baldrick's tummy like they usually do. Thanks Karen... you're the sweetest.

Baldrick is clean! He bears chocolate-covered nuts to Indy and is on the prowl for wimmin. Fear! Gil also offers him a promotion.

Sara's classy black brings all the boys to the yard, including the suave Indy, who gets her talking about her sordid Millways adventures and leather jumpsuits (which I guess are leather catsuits for the fitness inclined); Baldrick, who gets absolutely nowhere; Cole, with whom she discusses her recent work and domestic situation, and the Flash, with whom she has an absolutely adorable pre-written dance.

Asar-Suti and Gil arrive together and are very cute. Gil introduces 'Suti to Indy and Mike, and Eska and 'Suti are surprised to have to introduce Gil to purple.

Perhaps luckily, Eska didn't get the 'slinky' memo. She and Mike discuss how cute Gil and Asar-Suti are, their respective virginities, and nudity. She and Indy discuss Mike's social ineptitudes and magic. In the process, Indy-mun discovers just how much of a crack magnet the poor wizard is. She and Tim discuss Bloody Fairies and Tara. Esk goes very red due to the alcohol. Totally the alcohol. In conclusion: alcohol. She and Cole don't discuss anything, because her mun had gone to bed by the time he shows up. Damn timezones. This thread may be picked up later.

Charlie has a guitar, for a change. He dances with thetiniestblondecute, ~~and I am ded of awwww!~~; breaks Lent! and takes a bite out of Mike's sausage.

Tim and Mike have a fantastic conversation that includes homage to 8 Bit D and D and then covers Tim's family troubles before heading back to cute geekery.

Melaka is in slinky! OMGWTF! Mike and Mel flirt outrageously and she attempts, and fails, to get him drunk. Tim and Mel compare scars and talk shoes before being distracted by Aceinnadress! Sara and Mel discuss the evils of heels and successfully skirt around the cop/thief issue. Flash and Mel also discuss the evils of shoes and drunk!Indy.

Virginia wanders in by accident and is warmly welcomed by Ace, Indy (who very nicely pre-emptively canon-punctures himself), and Baldrick.

Ace inna dress! OMGWTF! Mel feels her pain and offers her alcohol; Mike is almost completely random at her, so she offers him a stuffed cat; Tim drools on her; Brian is a student at her; Sara attempts to get her drunk; and Bernard has words about the todash monster-explodey incident.

Claire is tiny, blonde and cute, and has a baby, with whom Mike is unbelievably cute. Ace and Claire talk about boys, and Claire, Charlie, Megan and Seth are The cutest thing in the whole damn world! Sawyer and Claire talk tutus and the fact the ENTIRE DAMN ISLAND is in Milliways, and then they kiss! There follows some amusing follow-up banter that results in the couple waking up together the next morning. W00t!

Eros is still a woman, and fools Mikey.

Sawyer is hiding his tutu. He flirts outrageously with Mike, is sort of gentlemanly with Virginia; and is snarky at Meg.

Brian turns up randomly, and has a long conversation with Mike, covering topics like Mike's reputation, chain mail bikinis, and the benefits of confusing people. Then there's Brian/Brian flirting, which leads to a departure to the lake. Same name confusion!

Meg has brought the evil green aniseed drink. Eros is female at her, Brian talks to her about clothes, ro-bot hors (which I totally read as Robot Wars), and shortness. Then Cole talks to her about absinthe, and Gavroche.

Death is dressed like Audrey Hepburn! And arrives with her ex-turtle after some pre-party cuteness on the roof. She scolds Meg about the giving-blood-to-Lucifer thing, and tells her that her family look out for her. She's sweet, as always, to Sara, Mikey, Cuthbert and Ace; dances with Deadpool in the most beautiful thread of the party; and then there's wonderful four-way schmoop with Tonks and Bernard. However, when Raph goes to get punch, Eros talks to Death, who is polite and adorable at him/her. Until Indy points them out to Raph, who storms back over and decks Eros. Death flees the party.

Bigby and Snow put Mary Poppins on baby-sitting duty and grace the party, discussing Virginia and enjoying some time together. Dionysus joins them and reveals some insights into the world of alcohol development. Mike swings by to introduce himself to Snow and provide nibbley things. Tim brings drinks and gets sympathy from Snow for his new scar before the conversation moves to Ace and teensuperhero marriage. Tim and Bigby discuss Ace's recent misadventure in space. Bigby then talks to Death about the Ares episode and jokes about deputizing her to the security team for her vigilante justice methods. Raph also checks in with the head of security and bizarrely announces that he's going to build a bike before Dream proceeds to enlighten Bigby on the ways people choose or are claimed by the Endless.

Cuthbert curiously joins proceedings and learns the merits of top hats from Meg, is not recognized by a mushroom-bearing Mike and yelps after a sneaky kiss from Fleur.

Cole shows up looking very spiffy and engages in a delicate conversation with Moiraine and Dream. He explains his current attempts to rid the evil within him, and his idea to grant Meg some avatar magic to help the Power of Three spell. WAH, what is he thinking? Moiraine interrogates him about his past connections to the shadow and finally resolves to help him.

Penny is greeted enthusiastically by Indy and they catch up on each other's love lives before the drunken explorer extends an open invite for her to come and play video games with him and Mike.

A be-tuxinated Andrew is met by Meg's warning about the punch. There's talk of Meg's return to Paris and some cryptic photographs. On their way out Meg is molested by Fleur through her enormous bustle. Poor Meg doesn't feel so good when she gets back home. But it's not the punch! Tim explains his new scar to Andrew, and help with Warren's bachelor party is mooted in return.

After a cute pre-party scene, a little black dress arrives. It's Bernard and Tonks, with the latter scoring high on the slinky scale. Indy rushes over and is saved from tequila-less embarrassment by Bernard's donation. Lorelai joins them with Seth, and further talk of babies and pets has Indy worried until a timely cameo by one of the mini!Indy's puts a stop to that silliness. Tonks soothes Tim's scar and HP war doom is foreshadowed. Cuthbert says hi and Faith explains the cause of her recent dream problems before Bernard sekritly shows her the engagement ring. Sssshh! Later, Mike brings Seth over and has cleavage-inspired banter with Tonks. Speaking of inspiration, who would have thought that a guest appearance by Donkey would inspire lashings of B/T shmoop and then hot smut in Indy's bathroom. Not me... but my inbox said different this morning. Very hot!

Next up are sunburnt Alanna in cocktail dress cuteness with a pirate Jack escort. Drunk!Indy pounces and gets a diamond watch out of the deal, as well as some bondage jokes and an offer of his very own Caribbean cruise. Bernard accepts Alanna's apology for her unexpected leave and informs her of the completed renovations, and more importantly, built-in silencing charms! Sara offers lotion for the sunburn and Fleur sneaks some strokes in.

Donning shoes especially for the occasion, Dream accompanies Moiraine to the soiree. Mike and baby Seth offer tasty treats and marital congratulations while Indy gets a formal download on the Cole conversation. Death notices the shoes and Dream gets a kiss from the roving Veela that inspires nickname questions from his wife.

The slinkyness thermometer explodes as Faith slips in. Indy gets working on a new batch of punch after Lorelai is introduced. Girly-talk ensues. Meanwhile, Meg and Faith definitely don't make eye contact. Bigby gets an update on her dream problem and solution.

Svava and Archie make a late entry and Indy does his hostly duty of freaking people out about Mike, before a semi-serious conversation about magic.

Romana eventually finds her way to the party and talks with wasted!Indy about lots of random things including emus and love. The random is all Indy. Perhaps thankfully he passes out before his reputation gets too tarnished, and the crowd begins to disperse.

The next morning sees a rookie cleaning crew of Oompa Loompas overlooking the unconscious Dr Jones underneath a pile of debris... and hauling him off for immediate incineration in the Loompa world furnaces.

Dun-dun-DUHHHH!