Steph Mu Ji (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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ways_back_room2012-08-08 06:55 am
muji) wrote in ways_back_room2012-08-08 06:55 am
Entry tags:
Daily Entertainment.
What does your canon get really, really wrong? (Interpret as you will!)
Twilight: Growth & Emotional Maturity across 100-to-400 years
X-Men: Adults Who Fight Like Childrenfrequently over children
Hunger Games: How Not to Torture People & Make Friends
Once Upon a Time: Happy Endingsbut that's the point
Robin Hood (BBC): Historical accuracy of any kind
X-Men: Adults Who Fight Like Children
Hunger Games: How Not to Torture People & Make Friends
Once Upon a Time: Happy Endings
Robin Hood (BBC): Historical accuracy of any kind
X-Men: Adults Who Fight Like Childrenfrequently over children
THIS. YES.
Fallout: Nuclear physics. Even if we allow all the whackadoodle biology and the sheer amount of viable canned food two hundred years after the Bomb on the grounds that It's Like That In The Movies... dude, mushroom clouds result from sufficiently large explosions of any kind. They don't automatically appear as a sign that 'hey, something nuclear happened'. I'm lookin' at you, every car that explodes in the games and every use of mininukes.
Mass Effect: THE ENDING. SWEET BABY ERIS, WHAT.
The Belgariad/The Malloreon: You don't get near-planetcracker explosions when you pour seawater on freshly exposed molten lava. (In his defense, David Eddings admitted after the fact that he got this one wrong, but by then it was too late to change things.)
Dragon Age: So... a medieval society with knights and a class of people called chevaliers in the next country over, and yet aside from a few children's toys and a mention of working in stables, there are no indications of horses anywhere in this world? No hitching posts, no water troughs, no horses in the art? Ferelden has dogs in half their art, so it's not like there's a social rule against the depiction of animals, and we see several merchants with oxcarts... but no horses anywhere, not even a horse head on someone's clothing.
Half-Life: The carrying capacity of your average theoretical physicist. I can handwave nearly anything with regards to weapon usage after reading Badass of the Week long enough, but guns. have. mass.
The King Must Die was actually pretty okay overall. One of the reviewers on Amazon accused Renault of misogyny for the number of female enemies Theseus had and for the way any woman who was both conventionally feminine and fond of sex met a bad end- see: Ariadne, and in the sequel, Phaedra- but I'm not so sure of that myself.
Ghostbusters: Meh, I think we're all right here.
Team Fortress 2: It's a crack shoot-everybody-in-the-face game. Only thing I can think of that it gets really wrong is that Valve makes mistakes estimating who's going to be fondest of which maps.
As for potential canons: I can't really peg anything in Throne of the Crescent Moon that's Really Really Wrong, which pleases me, and as for the other possible canon.... I'm almost dead certain you can't justify an Earthlike planet with humans and three species of sentient great ape around Betelgeuse, okay, Mr. Boulle? Betelgeuse. Come on.
Mass Effect: THE ENDING. SWEET BABY ERIS, WHAT.
The Belgariad/The Malloreon: You don't get near-planetcracker explosions when you pour seawater on freshly exposed molten lava. (In his defense, David Eddings admitted after the fact that he got this one wrong, but by then it was too late to change things.)
Dragon Age: So... a medieval society with knights and a class of people called chevaliers in the next country over, and yet aside from a few children's toys and a mention of working in stables, there are no indications of horses anywhere in this world? No hitching posts, no water troughs, no horses in the art? Ferelden has dogs in half their art, so it's not like there's a social rule against the depiction of animals, and we see several merchants with oxcarts... but no horses anywhere, not even a horse head on someone's clothing.
Half-Life: The carrying capacity of your average theoretical physicist. I can handwave nearly anything with regards to weapon usage after reading Badass of the Week long enough, but guns. have. mass.
The King Must Die was actually pretty okay overall. One of the reviewers on Amazon accused Renault of misogyny for the number of female enemies Theseus had and for the way any woman who was both conventionally feminine and fond of sex met a bad end- see: Ariadne, and in the sequel, Phaedra- but I'm not so sure of that myself.
Ghostbusters: Meh, I think we're all right here.
Team Fortress 2: It's a crack shoot-everybody-in-the-face game. Only thing I can think of that it gets really wrong is that Valve makes mistakes estimating who's going to be fondest of which maps.
As for potential canons: I can't really peg anything in Throne of the Crescent Moon that's Really Really Wrong, which pleases me, and as for the other possible canon.... I'm almost dead certain you can't justify an Earthlike planet with humans and three species of sentient great ape around Betelgeuse, okay, Mr. Boulle? Betelgeuse. Come on.
Fallout: Nuclear physics. Even if we allow all the whackadoodle biology and the sheer amount of viable canned food two hundred years after the Bomb on the grounds that It's Like That In The Movies... dude, mushroom clouds result from sufficiently large explosions of any kind. They don't automatically appear as a sign that 'hey, something nuclear happened'. I'm lookin' at you, every car that explodes in the games and every use of mininukes.
I found the weirdly undisturbed Chinese cell of invaders, complete with Chinese weaponry and uniforms and their own Seoul City Sue broadcast, two hundred years after the war ended in nuclear fire a little hard to swallow myself. (Near the Arlington Cemetery, if you missed it.)
I found the weirdly undisturbed Chinese cell of invaders, complete with Chinese weaponry and uniforms and their own Seoul City Sue broadcast, two hundred years after the war ended in nuclear fire a little hard to swallow myself. (Near the Arlington Cemetery, if you missed it.)
Re: the carrying capacity of your average theoretical physicist
death_gone_mad
- 2012-08-08 17:20 (UTC) - ExpandRe: the carrying capacity of your average theoretical physicist
aaaaaaaagh_sky
- 2012-08-08 17:32 (UTC) - ExpandRe: the carrying capacity of your average theoretical physicist
death_gone_mad
- 2012-08-08 17:57 (UTC) - ExpandKnox: Acid baths don't make people into homicidal clowns.
Kirk: You cannae change the laws of physics!
Howard Stark: There was no science fair in Flushing Meadows Park in the 40s, and the Unisphere wasn't built until the 60s. (In fact, the real 1939-40 World's Fair was a financial failure, and the park was left as something of a ghost town until after the 1964-65 World's Fair.)
Cyborg: The real Cyborg doesn't eat that much. Or maybe the cartoon got it right and the comics got it wrong?
The Question: Given his lack of training and discipline, he should have been crippled or killed long before his career got interesting.
Gibbs: What DIDN'T the PotC films get wrong? I love the trilogy, but there is no aspect of 18th century history that wasn't trampled, warped, mutated or otherwise ignored. It's only with the last film that I actually felt like someone read a history book in how Spain and England's rivalry and behavior was presented. By which point the series was out of creative steam.
Kirk: You cannae change the laws of physics!
Howard Stark: There was no science fair in Flushing Meadows Park in the 40s, and the Unisphere wasn't built until the 60s. (In fact, the real 1939-40 World's Fair was a financial failure, and the park was left as something of a ghost town until after the 1964-65 World's Fair.)
Cyborg: The real Cyborg doesn't eat that much. Or maybe the cartoon got it right and the comics got it wrong?
The Question: Given his lack of training and discipline, he should have been crippled or killed long before his career got interesting.
Gibbs: What DIDN'T the PotC films get wrong? I love the trilogy, but there is no aspect of 18th century history that wasn't trampled, warped, mutated or otherwise ignored. It's only with the last film that I actually felt like someone read a history book in how Spain and England's rivalry and behavior was presented. By which point the series was out of creative steam.
Thor: Norse mythology. How scientists do science. (Also the laws of physics, but it's a comics movie; they aren't actually trying.)
Gundam Wing: HAHAHAHAHA. Uh. Giant humanoid-ish robots are not the most efficient way to fight a war. Older prototypes are not usually more badass than finished machines created ten years later. Flamethrowers don't work in space. Fifteen-year-old girls, if crowned puppet Queen Of The World, No Seriously The Entire World, cannot make 70-year-old generals listen thoughtfully to their idealism. "I'll make a terrible war, and that will bring about world peace!" doesn't actually work.
Firefly: Bilingualism and code-switching don't work that way.
Claymore: Actually gets some things pretty right, and clearly doesn't care about even trying with some things like "laws of physics" and "sensible armor" and "reasons monsters might not monologue." I'll come back to this, not because it doesn't get anything wrong but because I thought of one and then my brain blanked on it. *needs more caffeine*
Gundam Wing: HAHAHAHAHA. Uh. Giant humanoid-ish robots are not the most efficient way to fight a war. Older prototypes are not usually more badass than finished machines created ten years later. Flamethrowers don't work in space. Fifteen-year-old girls, if crowned puppet Queen Of The World, No Seriously The Entire World, cannot make 70-year-old generals listen thoughtfully to their idealism. "I'll make a terrible war, and that will bring about world peace!" doesn't actually work.
Firefly: Bilingualism and code-switching don't work that way.
Claymore: Actually gets some things pretty right, and clearly doesn't care about even trying with some things like "laws of physics" and "sensible armor" and "reasons monsters might not monologue." I'll come back to this, not because it doesn't get anything wrong but because I thought of one and then my brain blanked on it. *needs more caffeine*
Ben: Radiation and the human body don't work like that.
Hank: I don't care how smart a person is, they still need time to do the work of school. Graduating Harvard at 15 is a fun idea but not very likely.
Palamedes: Persians were unlikely to have "a deep rich brown" skin tone.
Thalia: Some of the characterizations of the gods bugged me. Demeter being a shrewish mother-in-law among them. And the movie, yeah Hades bursting forth all Christian hell fire from the camp's sacrifice fire? So not appropriate. Plus hades (the place) would be colorless and dull. It is not hell.
Hank: I don't care how smart a person is, they still need time to do the work of school. Graduating Harvard at 15 is a fun idea but not very likely.
Palamedes: Persians were unlikely to have "a deep rich brown" skin tone.
Thalia: Some of the characterizations of the gods bugged me. Demeter being a shrewish mother-in-law among them. And the movie, yeah Hades bursting forth all Christian hell fire from the camp's sacrifice fire? So not appropriate. Plus hades (the place) would be colorless and dull. It is not hell.
Edited 2012-08-08 14:23 (UTC)
The movie was just a hot mess.
BUT PRETTY
Seriously, why is Persephone even THERE. IN JUNE.
BUT PRETTY
Seriously, why is Persephone even THERE. IN JUNE.
Invincible: Kirkland's handwaving for invulnerability and super-speed is a type of atom that can change its mass, density, and inertia. Sub-atomic physics do not work that way.
Avatar: Pacing. WHY OH WHY does it get the pacing wrong? Also, there are those on the internet very VOCAL about how they get mental illness wrong. I'm still undecided on that one.
Turtles: I think it gets women wrong. It certainly gets Orientalism right, which...is not a good thing. And don't even get me started on the continuity.
Middleman: That it was cancelled is an abomination unto the Nuggan. Or rather, maybe the Nuggan was behind it.
Turtles: I think it gets women wrong. It certainly gets Orientalism right, which...is not a good thing. And don't even get me started on the continuity.
Middleman: That it was cancelled is an abomination unto the Nuggan. Or rather, maybe the Nuggan was behind it.
This map (http://fav.me/d3woqn4) summarizes many of the things wrong with Runescape. Amascut herself comes from the continent/subcontinent labeled SAND AND RACISM.
The WTF KING ARTUR is especially poignant since the the game devs swapped out a quest based on Romeo and Juliet for a quest where a dwarf romances a TOTALLY NOT VIKING because acting out a Shakespeare play did not fit canon. But then, the King Arthur stuff is not just one quest, its a quest line, and there are too many King Arthur references on that part of the map to fix.
HERE BE FUCK ALL is actually filled with communist penguins.
The OUT OF PLACE POVERTY isn't so much out of place, except it is the only poverty shown in game except the quarantined part of Ardougne and the human blood farms found in the place labeled TWILIGHT. The only thing out of place is that it doesn't figure much into the story but its there on the map anyway, unlike the supposedly vast slums in Falador (labeled WHITE PEOPLE). The vast slums of Falador aren't visible or visitable because of SCALE THEORY, fandom's excuse for everything.
Also, WTF geography? What is with that river running straight through Kandarin (EVERYTHING ELSE)? And Karamja(POISON, RACISM, and THE RAINFOREST)? Yes, those are actual rivers, with actual waterfalls and bridges, not straits. RIVERS DON'T WORK THAT WAY
Despite the TWILIGHT label, the vampires of Morytania don't sparkle in the sunlight. They do have to wear generous sunscreen and dark sunglasses when they are outside of their cloud shrouded territory. It's just that everything vamp related gets slapped with Twilight these days.
[Muji? Can tomorrow's DE be about music? I specifically want to know about what kind of music everyone's pups like, and how the muns figured out those music preferences]
The WTF KING ARTUR is especially poignant since the the game devs swapped out a quest based on Romeo and Juliet for a quest where a dwarf romances a TOTALLY NOT VIKING because acting out a Shakespeare play did not fit canon. But then, the King Arthur stuff is not just one quest, its a quest line, and there are too many King Arthur references on that part of the map to fix.
HERE BE FUCK ALL is actually filled with communist penguins.
The OUT OF PLACE POVERTY isn't so much out of place, except it is the only poverty shown in game except the quarantined part of Ardougne and the human blood farms found in the place labeled TWILIGHT. The only thing out of place is that it doesn't figure much into the story but its there on the map anyway, unlike the supposedly vast slums in Falador (labeled WHITE PEOPLE). The vast slums of Falador aren't visible or visitable because of SCALE THEORY, fandom's excuse for everything.
Also, WTF geography? What is with that river running straight through Kandarin (EVERYTHING ELSE)? And Karamja(POISON, RACISM, and THE RAINFOREST)? Yes, those are actual rivers, with actual waterfalls and bridges, not straits. RIVERS DON'T WORK THAT WAY
Despite the TWILIGHT label, the vampires of Morytania don't sparkle in the sunlight. They do have to wear generous sunscreen and dark sunglasses when they are outside of their cloud shrouded territory. It's just that everything vamp related gets slapped with Twilight these days.
[Muji? Can tomorrow's DE be about music? I specifically want to know about what kind of music everyone's pups like, and how the muns figured out those music preferences]
Edited 2012-08-08 15:29 (UTC)
Robin Hood-Heh, its a legend that's had so many iterations that history is only a vague idea. I'm actually fine with this aspect and embrace it but still its tricky.
X-Men: First Class-Timelines and science but its Marvel, I don't look too closely at the science. Its just how long does everything take that makes me headtilt and go, no, this needs fixing and diversity.
The Abhorsen Chronicles-Pacing, emotional reactions in that pacing, how does Sam's magic work?
Going Postal/Making Money-Moist has an issue with commitment, I don't buy the romance.
Becoming Jane-The history's bent a touch but no big complaints.
3:10 to Yuma-Chronology is off, they didn't need to say a specific date, just say late 1860s or after the Civil War, but no wanted a specific date.
Greek Mythology-*snerks* Its Greek myth, it wrote the book on contradicting itself.
The Chronicles of Narnia-I would love a more specific timeline and sense of how much time passed in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.
The Pirates of Penzance-The Pirate King should end up with Ruth.
X-Men: First Class-Timelines and science but its Marvel, I don't look too closely at the science. Its just how long does everything take that makes me headtilt and go, no, this needs fixing and diversity.
The Abhorsen Chronicles-Pacing, emotional reactions in that pacing, how does Sam's magic work?
Going Postal/Making Money-Moist has an issue with commitment, I don't buy the romance.
Becoming Jane-The history's bent a touch but no big complaints.
3:10 to Yuma-Chronology is off, they didn't need to say a specific date, just say late 1860s or after the Civil War, but no wanted a specific date.
Greek Mythology-*snerks* Its Greek myth, it wrote the book on contradicting itself.
The Chronicles of Narnia-I would love a more specific timeline and sense of how much time passed in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.
The Pirates of Penzance-The Pirate King should end up with Ruth.
It's true. A comprehensive timeline of CoN would be helpful!
But I'm not too fussed about it, just 'cause handwaving can come in handy sometimes. :3
But I'm not too fussed about it, just 'cause handwaving can come in handy sometimes. :3
Okay let me see if I can give you a better answer than that:
Kirby's Return to Dream Land: EX mode is just...ehn? The bosses are predictably (and woefully) more difficult, but the levels themselves are just--I don't think you tried at all! All they did was make the enemies larger or smaller, but they're placed in the same locations as they were in main mode. This is quite a disappointment considering the guy who directed this game also directed Kirby Super Star Ultra, which did hard mode brutally right by changing all the enemy AI as well as the bosses. Then again, HAL was kind of in a rush to finish this, since they'd been trying to make a Kirby home console game since Kirby 64. Oh well.
Skyward Sword: ...I can't think of anything "wrong" that won't wind up sounding nitpicky as hell. I guess I can make a complaint similar to the above, in that its Hero Mode isn't that difficult. The double damage/no recovery hearts thing is tedious, but honestly I used a lot of potions during main mode so this...really isn't that much different. It's more tedious than anything.
Kirby's Return to Dream Land: EX mode is just...ehn? The bosses are predictably (and woefully) more difficult, but the levels themselves are just--I don't think you tried at all! All they did was make the enemies larger or smaller, but they're placed in the same locations as they were in main mode. This is quite a disappointment considering the guy who directed this game also directed Kirby Super Star Ultra, which did hard mode brutally right by changing all the enemy AI as well as the bosses. Then again, HAL was kind of in a rush to finish this, since they'd been trying to make a Kirby home console game since Kirby 64. Oh well.
Skyward Sword: ...I can't think of anything "wrong" that won't wind up sounding nitpicky as hell. I guess I can make a complaint similar to the above, in that its Hero Mode isn't that difficult. The double damage/no recovery hearts thing is tedious, but honestly I used a lot of potions during main mode so this...really isn't that much different. It's more tedious than anything.
Downton Abbey: The passage of time. The first series happens over two years and the second over three. By necessity, the show skips over large chunks of time, but apparently the plot isn't allowed to advance and characters aren't allowed to develop during any of the missing time.
Marvel: No Carol Danvers in the MCU (Yet?)
Marvel: No Carol Danvers in the MCU (Yet?)
Neither of my canons get much wrong that I can see - from what I've heard, Danger Close made a special point of getting everything right for MoH 2010.
RDR has the usual issue of how the fuck can a 38-year-old farmer carry all those guns, but it's basically GTA in the Old West, so there you go.
RDR has the usual issue of how the fuck can a 38-year-old farmer carry all those guns, but it's basically GTA in the Old West, so there you go.
Edited 2012-08-08 16:44 (UTC)
HEY GUYS I'M ON THE TUBES IN MY APARTMENT
AND WE HAVE FURNITURE
THAT ISN'T PUT TOGETHER BUT STILL
That said: Warehouse 13 has itself some massive geography-fail problems. If they'd just say what Artifact lets them cross more space in less time, I'd let it go.
AND WE HAVE FURNITURE
THAT ISN'T PUT TOGETHER BUT STILL
That said: Warehouse 13 has itself some massive geography-fail problems. If they'd just say what Artifact lets them cross more space in less time, I'd let it go.
Casualty: The fact that doctors rotate jobs every four months. But since they'd have to have a new cast every time, I can understand that.
Golden Sun has the Cutscene of Utter Crack. Dodonpa, commonly called "the Evil Thief", has captured the foster father of one of the party members and kept him locked in a dungeon to extort money from his wife. The party breaks into said dungeon, finds the foster father, and is surprised by Dodonpa showing up. Dodonpa proceeds to press a control - inside the cell (Poor Planning 101) - to open the back wall and let a gigantic monster out (Logistics: how was this thing fed/cared for? Where did it come from? The majority of monsters in the game have a handwavey explanation, but I don't see that it can fit this one.). The monster is defeated, and somehow its body ends up pinning Dodonpa down, because he was in the process of sneaking up to stab the party in the back (How does that even work?). The party then, for no very obvious reason, drags the monster-corpse off of Dodonpa, and is concerned when he doesn't get right up. The kidnapped foster-father expresses relief when Dodonpa mentions that it's just a sprain, before one of the party members reminds him that he was kidnapped and held against his will. The response? "Oh, right." Skip forward a few lines, and the kidnapped guy and the entire party all agree to forgive Dodonpa if he will change his ways, whereupon they lock him in the same cell and sneak the kidnappee out of the dungeon.
I just. What.
As for My Little Pony... what is narrative or technological continuity?
I just. What.
As for My Little Pony... what is narrative or technological continuity?
Can't explain most of that away, but was the control to release the kraken monster clearly shown? If not, you could rationalize it as a remote control.
Alera: Timeline is sketchy. Also, I don't think technological progression works that way.
Smallville: ... I hardly know where to begin, or end, so I'll limit it to: METROPOLIS. IN. KANSAS.
Smallville: ... I hardly know where to begin, or end, so I'll limit it to: METROPOLIS. IN. KANSAS.
The college application process
Appropriate teaching methods
... Everything
Appropriate teaching methods
... Everything
Heroes: Evolution. Oh, and everything else.
Parks and Rec: Being from Indiana, I can say this show does more than ... plenty of California-based television programming to make fun references to actual things in Indiana. But it also means I notice whenever they do things that don't work so much. Such as that, even in hillier southern Indiana, there are no "foothills" where Donna could have a cabin. Also there was the episode where the city government was apparently going to totally trample the First Amendment and I found that distracting. (On the other hand, Perd Hapley is kind of the perfect exaggerated Indiana local newscaster.)
Grim Fandango: Aside from that you sort of have to accept magical realism because there's a lot of inconsistency in this world (where do they get food products? Or any product? Are there farms in the Land of the Dead? That seems somehow contradictory. Plus they don't need to eat and they have them anyway. And what happens when you die within death? Hmmm!), I feel like anything else would take someone more qualified than I am to speak on Aztec cosmology and Dia de los Muertos customs.
A:TLA/LoK I remember when the whole "mwahahaha I used platinum!" thing happened a bunch of people complained about it, but when I look into it I just inevitably end up dancing back to "well magic show of magic."
Parks and Rec: Being from Indiana, I can say this show does more than ... plenty of California-based television programming to make fun references to actual things in Indiana. But it also means I notice whenever they do things that don't work so much. Such as that, even in hillier southern Indiana, there are no "foothills" where Donna could have a cabin. Also there was the episode where the city government was apparently going to totally trample the First Amendment and I found that distracting. (On the other hand, Perd Hapley is kind of the perfect exaggerated Indiana local newscaster.)
Grim Fandango: Aside from that you sort of have to accept magical realism because there's a lot of inconsistency in this world (where do they get food products? Or any product? Are there farms in the Land of the Dead? That seems somehow contradictory. Plus they don't need to eat and they have them anyway. And what happens when you die within death? Hmmm!), I feel like anything else would take someone more qualified than I am to speak on Aztec cosmology and Dia de los Muertos customs.
A:TLA/LoK I remember when the whole "mwahahaha I used platinum!" thing happened a bunch of people complained about it, but when I look into it I just inevitably end up dancing back to "well magic show of magic."
Apparently platinum is the least reactive metal, so that might be it. But I'm not sure how that equals "pure".
24:...
Do you want those alphabetically or chronologically?
Do you want those alphabetically or chronologically?
Also, thanks to that title, I've had
So tell me what is wrong, what is really really wrong
I'll tell you what is wrong, what is really really wrong
I'll tell ya, tell ya, tell ya
I really really hate what my canon gets wrong
in my head all day.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
So tell me what is wrong, what is really really wrong
I'll tell you what is wrong, what is really really wrong
I'll tell ya, tell ya, tell ya
I really really hate what my canon gets wrong
in my head all day.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
Characters' ages and the passage of time. I seriously wonder how the writers did the math on this one. It is not possible for a man and a woman in their 40s (and roughly five years apart?) to be high school sweethearts who got married after he knocked her up at 17, because their eldest daughter is only ~15-years-old at the start of canon in the year 2004. WHAT IS THE MATH HERE. PLEASE EXPLAIN.
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