Daily Entertainment: Dear Abby...

[themightyspazz]

A couple of hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground, clutching his chest. He's not breathing, his eyes are rolled back into his head, and his buddy's freaking out. He takes out his phone, dials 911.

"Help!" he says. "My friend is dead! What do I do?"

"Calm down," the operator says. "I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."

It gets real quiet on the other end of the line.

Then - BLAM. Gunshot.

The guy gets back on the phone. "Okay, now what?"




HAPPY NEW YEAR, MILLIWAYSERS. Hope you guys didn't doze through it, like I did. :/

Anyway. DE. I'm a sucker for interactive DEs, so I'll let this one jump the line.

From gavin62truck:

Post in with a list of your pups. Tag others with questions for their pups to answer.

Comments

[themightyspazz]

Voodoo (boston_bruiser)
John Marston (bornuntotrouble)
Mako (fantasticfireferret)

[leeshajoy]

Dear Whoever Wants To Answer, I just got called off work for the second day in a row. What should I do with my sudden abundance of free time?

[jjprobert]

Jack West (againsttherules)
Max Epper (max_epper)
Alfred Penyworth (battle_butler)
Erik Selvig (ask_the_right_questions)
Bean (aintwortha)

[herr_bookman]

Dear Bean: I've got some vents to crawl through, but I've gained more than my fair share of holiday pounds. Any tips for slimming down in a hurry?

[saphyria]

Yrael (mogget_cat)
Sunshine (sunbaked_baker)
Zelgadiss (chime_ra_tilt)

[newredshoes]

Dear Yrael: How do you find or make time to practice your piano? I am slacking on my ukulele and could use some tips.

[ladyiapetus]

Rue (onabirdswing)
Jinora (nosuchpromise)
John Munch (blowupthefloats)
Dani Phantom (ami_imperfect)

And what the hell, I'll throw my really inactive pups in here too:

Klara Prast (blumekinde)
Rennes (the_wrenster)
Malu (ghostwitch)

[herr_bookman]

Dear Jinora: Romance novel recommendations?

[camwyn]

Gordon Freeman
Adrian Shephard
Ellen Park
Ray Stantz
BLU Medic
Arcade Gannon
Zira
Hektor of Troy
Mordin Solus
Varric Tethras

I don't feel like typing up the journal name tags. Nyah.

[newredshoes]

Dear Zira: I'm about to start pursuing higher education again, but I'm worried I've forgotten how to be in school. Any advice for making it through the first quarter?

[the_gene_genie]

Gene Hunt
Bruce Banner
Bruce Wayne

[newredshoes]

Dear Dr. Banner: So say someone's dad looks like he might be prepping to depose the king, but you can't be sure. How does one politely breach the topic and have a civil conversation about politics?

[varadia]

X-23
Raven
Wonder Woman
Dean Winchester
Michael the Archangel
Galadan
Sam Tyler
Flemeth

[newredshoes]

Dear Raven: Someone has stolen the sun, and I'd really like it back. As something of an expert in this field, any tips for making it so?

[alsoagreengrass]

Have at!

[gavin62truck]

Tommy Gavin (gavin62truck)
Lt. Kenny Shea (lt_shea62truck)

[newredshoes]

Dear Tommy: Some jackass in my apartment building won't stop playing terrible music that I can feel in my floorboards. How do I make it stop?

[bcgphoenix]

Felix Gaeta (mr_gaeta)
Olivia Dunham (flip_the_lights)
The Trickster (changeinasnap)
Bolin (a_bolin_stone)

[newredshoes]

Dear Bolin: I know you've got a way with the ladies. Any tips for making that first date really special? Asking for a friend.

[bjornwilde]

What the hay...though I am crazy this morning at work.
Ben Grimm
Jessica Drew
Valeria von Doom
Hank McCoy (X-Men: First Class)
Thalia Grace
Palamedes
Andrea Nash

[newredshoes]

Heh. Harry Percy (valiantrebel), at your service.

[leeshajoy]

Alyx Vance (vance_prime)
D0G (g00d_d0ggie)
Twilight Sparkle (no_vampires_plz)
Princess Luna (always_the_moon)
the cat (with_his_tail_high)

And coming soon, Vanellope von Scweetz (unglitched)

[themightyspazz]

D0G - what's your favorite movie?

Vanellope - before Ralph came, how'd you pass the time in Sugar Rush?

Alyx - can I have your autograph?

[baptizemyself]

I'm game.

[bjornwilde]

Dear Helen: How do I get my daughter more interested in education enrichment outside of school? Specifically, math and French, both of which we have access to computer programs for.

[ceitfianna]

Ooh, I love this one.

Will Scarlett will_scarlett
Charles Xavier balancingminds
Demeter wheatencrown
Sameth makesthings
William Evans not_his_pa
Moist von Lipwig morethanprops
Jane Austen janebecomes
Tumnus friend_of_lucy
The Pirate King agloriousthing

[lady_mary]

Captain Turner says she is the Pirate King. Why do pirates need so many kings?

[minkhollow]

Eh, why not.

Cata (dark_dancer)
Sam (never_misses)
Claudia Donovan (claudiometer)
Apollo (iamso_awesome)
Imp y Celyn (not_elvish)
Regulus Black (no_martyr)
Red Riding Hood (itrunsinthefamily) (Or you can ask Ruby, but it'll probably be a different answer.)

Bonus points:
Rebecca St. Clair (abetter_shot)

[leeshajoy]

Claudia: Would it be better to upgrade the OS on my existing computer or to take out a loan buy a whole new computer? (My current desktop is five years old and at the tail end of what's supported under the latest version of OS X.)

[abitofawildman]

Commander Bumi -abitofawildman
Aang - 12goingon113
Splinter - mnr_splinter
Michaelangelo - mnt_mike
Raphael - mnt_raph
Ida - split_your_lip
The Oompa Loompas - v_knidh8er

[themightyspazz]

Bumi -

why you so crazy, man?

[aberrantangels]

forgoodorforawesome: Strong Bad
hiroaki_protagonist: the Deliverator
ilko_skevuld: The Cheat
maxwell_a_mercer: Max Mercer
md_donighal: Divis Mal
ringo_to_omoshiro: Ryûk
rotwood_reaper: Rukia Kuchiki
slidingjennifer: Jennifer Landers
and, because I really am thinking of throwing hir in here,
futamura_neo: Néo

[leeshajoy]

Dear Strongest of the Bads: How do you deal with a sticky keyboard? (As in a keyboard where the keys get stuck, you sicko.)

[cute_bruiser]

No way I'm typing out all that html on my phone, but here goes!

Sam Linnfer
Molly Hayes
Edna Mode
Minerva McGonagall
Dean Thomas
Raoul of Goldenlake
Martha Jones
Suzie Costello
Agent Phil Coulson
Snow Leopard Woman

[leeshajoy]

Dear Ms. Mode: Socks with sandals. So good or no good?

[ladyoflorien]

Hit me, if you dare.

Leela - eyeeyecaptain

Porthos - srspirate

Grace Augustine - donthidemycigs

Renee Walker - whathastobedone

Ray Carling - flickedmethevs

Lily Bell - maidenofthewest

Zoë Washburne - someonetocarryyou

Regina Mills - happilyneverafter

[lady_mary]

Miss Mills,
How do you convince others that you aren't heartless and cold? Or do you simply disregard what others think of you?

[souffle_girlek]

Yay! And I'm off today, de-decorating the house and trying to instill some sort of order. So I can actually has brains again!

Ace nitro_is_ace
Katya katyafeline
Balthazar 777thdegree
Haymitch pickled_tribute
Glorfindel gondolin_noble
Oswin souffle_girlek
Shaz properpolice
'Bones' McCoy notabricklayer

[awesome_binomial_theorems]

Oswin: How do you make a souffle?

[lunamystic]

Alanna of Trebond
Elizabeth Turner
Doctor Evil
Queen Thayet
Jim Craig
Grace Hanadarko

[souffle_girlek]

Grace: Thoughts on dog ownership and bully breeds.

[awesome_binomial_theorems]

Professor James Moriarty.

[misslucyjane]

Bilbo Baggins
Merlin
Steve Rogers

I'd log in to my mun account, but DW and/or my computer is being silly.

[souffle_girlek]

Captain Rogers (and thank goodness you have a rank because calling you 'Mister Rogers' is all kinds of wrong): Thoughts on still having a star-spangled uniform in the twenty-first century.

[arrin]

AndrAIa (notascreensaver)
Thriteen (numbered_doctor)
Kaidan (notamutant)
Hawke (birdofkirkwall)
Kanaya (bloodyvirgo)

[cameoflage]

Kanaya! What is the most delicious flavour of blood?