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ways_back_room2013-08-03 05:17 am
bornuntotrouble) wrote in ways_back_room2013-08-03 05:17 am
Entry tags:
Weekend Entertainment
This is what I get when I spend all night YouTubing sea shanties.
Your pup is on a classic Age-Of-Sail pirate ship! What role do they fulfill? How well do they adjust? What sort of plunder do they claim? Do they embrace the life, or jump ship at the next port of call?
Your pup is on a classic Age-Of-Sail pirate ship! What role do they fulfill? How well do they adjust? What sort of plunder do they claim? Do they embrace the life, or jump ship at the next port of call?
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Um.
Hokay. Felix... I kind of feel like, if he doesn't get to be captain, they'd make him quartermaster.
Fluttershy would totally be in charge of picking targets. This goes exactly as well as you'd expect. Also: relevant images.
Kain gets to be the Enforcer, the guy who puts down mutinies. This works very well until he becomes part of a mutiny
and saves the world.no subject
Things would get hairy if he encountered one His Majesty's ships of the line - he wouldn't be cool with attacking the good guys. And then he'd be all, 'actually, attacking innocent freight ships isn't my thing either' - so he'd concentrate on the drinking rum, and singing loudly, and getting to port to meet some women.
If he was brought up in that time though, and not just plunked onto a ship randomly - then, there's every chance he would fully embrace the pirate life. He'd be more likely to join the Navy, but if he couldn't for whatever reason, then...yeah.
Bruce Wayne - would look around, roll his eyes, and beat the crap out of any pirate who is stupid enough to think him a shipmate. He'd get off as soon as possible. Quite likely not even wait for the next port, and just build a boat out of old rum casks, and set off on his own.
Bruce Banner - ship's doctor. He'd be the one who used to be a Naval officer, but fell on hard times, and now has no choice but to hang with the pirates. He doesn't like what they do, but he'll fix anyone that's brought to him - and that's what stops the captain getting rid of him. He's useful, and harmless, and it's handy to have a doc around for after the fights.
Javert - is immediately tied up in the hold. And gagged. Because as soon as he realises he's on a pirate ship, he would take steps to try and scupper the ship/get them caught. Actually, he'd likely be killed straight away. So.
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You sure about that?
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Shephard is United States Marine Corps, which makes him more or less the opposite of pirate. However, if he were stuck in that situation, he would be pushing the captain to go for a letter of marque and reprisal so as to get them all off one official navy's shitlist. Privateering he could about handle. If they didn't wind up privateers for a government he could live with, he'd not so much jump ship at the next port as stick around long enough to learn how to handle the thing, arm the next set of prisoners they wound up taking, and stage a takeover before promptly setting course for the nearest American port. Because fuck he doesn't wanna be a pirate, but if it's the Age of Sail then the States could probably use another vessel and its complement of guns.
Ray would start talking to the crew at great length. They would probably declare him insane and put him off at the next available island, if they didn't heave him overboard for putting them in danger of attracting ghosts with his loose talk.
I like to think Varric would discover that he's an even worse example of a dwarf than usual, turning out to have absolutely no issues whatsoever with seasickness. Someone in the crew would probably try to take Bianca from him and promptly lose a finger in the process, but when Varric demonstrated what he could do with an automatic crossbow with a built-in bayonet the captain would inform the crew that no one was to make fun of the short guy not using a gun ever again, and then ask Varric where he could get another weapon like that. I'm pretty sure Varric could handle a piracy career- and that he'd be popular because as a storyteller he'd be keeping morale up and spreading the crew's reputation in port every chance he got.
Mordin is an inhuman freak that Age of Sail pirates would not know what to do with. Especially since his omni-tool is rigged to allow him to use projectile plasma and cryo weaponry. After a few of their compatriots burst into flame they'd assume that they'd pissed off Satan and beg him to stop doing horrible things, and he'd either wipe out the crew or get them to take him to his destination of choice and leave.
Medic would be tremendously annoyed with the situation, but he'd fit in pretty well, I think. They'd make him ship's surgeon and he'd be good at it.
Santo would wind up in the low-budget version of Pirates of the Caribbean and find himself on board a ship manned entirely by heroic pirates who were trying to prove their innocence or something after being framed by an evil and corrupt lord. The movie would end with Santo refusing the captaincy, having wrestled not only the evil and corrupt lord but the shockingly treacherous second mate into submission (after #2 killed the reluctant but spiritually noble captain, you understand) and wishing the former first mate, now the captain, luck against all enemies of good people on the high seas.
Ellen would not do well in this situation at all, being seasick, the wrong temperament, and a woman. However, if any of the pirates had heard any of the stories of the dread pirate queen Ching Shih and her Red Flag Fleet (I'm assuming that by 'classic Age of Sail ship' you mean one of primarily European pirates or pirates of the Americas, rather than Barbary Coast pirates or Chinese pirates), that would skew things a bit. I'm pretty sure they'd look at her scars, think about the stories about the Red Flag Fleet, and try to persuade the captain that they should entertain the crew by having the Chinese girl (I doubt any pirates of the Americas or Europe could tell Chinese apart from Korean on sight) get into knife fights with their more troublesome prisoners. This would end in a horrible mess and Ellen would leave the ship at the first port of call, assuming they didn't try to get rid of her by tossing her overboard first.
Stacker Pentecost: See the entry on Adrian Shephard, although Stacker's background is Royal Air Force rather than USMC. Stacker is also more terrifying than Shephard in plain hand to hand combat, as he's a dedicated martial artist whereas Shephard generally fights hand to hand only when he doesn't have the opportunity to drop the other guy from a distance for whatever reason. I'm pretty sure that if Stacker took over the ship he would head for an English port not so much to turn the ship in as to appeal to the Crown for his own letters of marque, because I'm pretty sure he'd be willing to go privateer if he couldn't get out of that time frame. This assumes, mind you, that Stacker's long-term medical issues are not an issue in this particular setting....
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... That I haven't really played through. Oh well.
Here, have some horrible sea shanties from the game. They aren't creative or clever or well sung, so, fair warning.
So, Amascut would likely not settle for anything less than captain, but nothing with as much responsibility as Admiral. The road to her captaincy would be a very bloody one, but then she would be the worst captain ever. Only stealing ships to ram into other ships but never bothering with the gold. Maybe only the rum if it were a particularly good/horrible quality. She would probably become a better swimmer than a pirate in the long run.
Fairy Fixit wouldn't be a pirate; she would be a legendary shipwright and witch and probably a prize pirates would fight over. But hell, treating her like a prize would be inadvisable since she could easily rot a ship and its crew. It would be best to leave her be at whatever port she prefers instead of abducting her.
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Hannibal would make himself useful as a doctor, then slowly take over power on the ship while more and more crew members vanish, and finally become the terror of the high seas, fast and deadly, with a small crew of absolutely loyal, like-minded friends (and those he manipulated into becoming an image of such), never to be caught, and famous in all the pirate ports-of-call for the famous feast he throws from the spoils of his exploits. His closest confidant among his crew is a scruffy loner with a big dog who the pirates swear is both raving mad, and has a sort of magic to see things that nobody else can, and who finds the best catches for them.- Somebody with more time than me should write this AU...
Urquhart and Ned Poins would take to piracy like fish to water, plundering merrily and living a happy life of lawlessness.
Margolotta would show the pirates the error of their ways, and drag them willy-nilly into modern times, and back to civilisation.
Sirona actually canonically founded an AU version of the Pirate Party (trufax!! the author swears he couldn't write that book any more, as it is, because reality overtook it), but otherwise is not nautically inclined.
Lorenzo would find it all incredibly romantic at first, but jump ship at the first chance because of the stark reality of it all, wanting to go home to his friends. Unless they were with him, in which case he might find it a great adventure.
Tower will show the pirates where the plunder is best, get drunk with them, and then vanish.
Tamara is from a pirate canon, and eats pirates if she can get any, thank you very much.-
OMG I need a new 'mun and pups' icon, urgently!
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Lois would generally make a pest of herself, possibly eventually take over the pirate ship, and probably turn privateer. She'd leave off eventually, as her love of adventure would war with her appreciation of, you know, civilized life.
If Tavi were on a pirate ship, it would be because he probably hired it to help him sneak around friends and enemies alike to do something he needed doing--like, say, stealing political prisoners out of supposedly inescapable prisons. As such, while he wouldn't be captain, he'd've dictated the itinerary. Also, he is a terrible sailor and after a week or something throwing up would just keep himself out of the way, unless they got into a fight. He'd be off that ship as early as humanly possible, and possibly draft it into occasional service to the Crown. By 'service to the Crown' I don't mean privateer, I mean working for him personally and closely. Yes, this is all canonically what he does with his favorite pirate ship.
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Joshua would be the navigator. Boy loves his compasses, after all. He'd probably be pouring over maps and charts, and making the best routes.
Fantine would hate it, but she would make herself useful fixing the sails and everyone's clothes.