Weekend Entertainment

[bornuntotrouble]

This is what I get when I spend all night YouTubing sea shanties.

Your pup is on a classic Age-Of-Sail pirate ship! What role do they fulfill? How well do they adjust? What sort of plunder do they claim? Do they embrace the life, or jump ship at the next port of call?

Comments

[camwyn]

Gordon would refuse to talk the entire time and then be put to work doing basic repair work around the ship. After all, he carries construction tools. He'd probably get made fun of a lot until there was a boarding action by someone even more revolting than the current crew, at which point they'd all give him a wide wide berth because he'd be killing all the boarders with the crowbar and then with their own weapons.

Shephard is United States Marine Corps, which makes him more or less the opposite of pirate. However, if he were stuck in that situation, he would be pushing the captain to go for a letter of marque and reprisal so as to get them all off one official navy's shitlist. Privateering he could about handle. If they didn't wind up privateers for a government he could live with, he'd not so much jump ship at the next port as stick around long enough to learn how to handle the thing, arm the next set of prisoners they wound up taking, and stage a takeover before promptly setting course for the nearest American port. Because fuck he doesn't wanna be a pirate, but if it's the Age of Sail then the States could probably use another vessel and its complement of guns.

Ray would start talking to the crew at great length. They would probably declare him insane and put him off at the next available island, if they didn't heave him overboard for putting them in danger of attracting ghosts with his loose talk.

I like to think Varric would discover that he's an even worse example of a dwarf than usual, turning out to have absolutely no issues whatsoever with seasickness. Someone in the crew would probably try to take Bianca from him and promptly lose a finger in the process, but when Varric demonstrated what he could do with an automatic crossbow with a built-in bayonet the captain would inform the crew that no one was to make fun of the short guy not using a gun ever again, and then ask Varric where he could get another weapon like that. I'm pretty sure Varric could handle a piracy career- and that he'd be popular because as a storyteller he'd be keeping morale up and spreading the crew's reputation in port every chance he got.

Mordin is an inhuman freak that Age of Sail pirates would not know what to do with. Especially since his omni-tool is rigged to allow him to use projectile plasma and cryo weaponry. After a few of their compatriots burst into flame they'd assume that they'd pissed off Satan and beg him to stop doing horrible things, and he'd either wipe out the crew or get them to take him to his destination of choice and leave.

Medic would be tremendously annoyed with the situation, but he'd fit in pretty well, I think. They'd make him ship's surgeon and he'd be good at it.

Santo would wind up in the low-budget version of Pirates of the Caribbean and find himself on board a ship manned entirely by heroic pirates who were trying to prove their innocence or something after being framed by an evil and corrupt lord. The movie would end with Santo refusing the captaincy, having wrestled not only the evil and corrupt lord but the shockingly treacherous second mate into submission (after #2 killed the reluctant but spiritually noble captain, you understand) and wishing the former first mate, now the captain, luck against all enemies of good people on the high seas.

Ellen would not do well in this situation at all, being seasick, the wrong temperament, and a woman. However, if any of the pirates had heard any of the stories of the dread pirate queen Ching Shih and her Red Flag Fleet (I'm assuming that by 'classic Age of Sail ship' you mean one of primarily European pirates or pirates of the Americas, rather than Barbary Coast pirates or Chinese pirates), that would skew things a bit. I'm pretty sure they'd look at her scars, think about the stories about the Red Flag Fleet, and try to persuade the captain that they should entertain the crew by having the Chinese girl (I doubt any pirates of the Americas or Europe could tell Chinese apart from Korean on sight) get into knife fights with their more troublesome prisoners. This would end in a horrible mess and Ellen would leave the ship at the first port of call, assuming they didn't try to get rid of her by tossing her overboard first.

Stacker Pentecost: See the entry on Adrian Shephard, although Stacker's background is Royal Air Force rather than USMC. Stacker is also more terrifying than Shephard in plain hand to hand combat, as he's a dedicated martial artist whereas Shephard generally fights hand to hand only when he doesn't have the opportunity to drop the other guy from a distance for whatever reason. I'm pretty sure that if Stacker took over the ship he would head for an English port not so much to turn the ship in as to appeal to the Crown for his own letters of marque, because I'm pretty sure he'd be willing to go privateer if he couldn't get out of that time frame. This assumes, mind you, that Stacker's long-term medical issues are not an issue in this particular setting....