DE: Time after time

[bjornwilde]

A great one from yakalskovich today:
Your character is now a historical part of the Warehouse 13-verse. Which (iconic) possession of theirs will be turned into an Artifact, what will its powers be, what are the drawbacks, and is there any special thing people will have to do to get rid of it?

Comments

[not_my_sandbox]

Oh boy! Artifacts! Lemme show you my canon's version of them!

So there are twelve items called the Elder Artifacts that where left behind by the Elder Gods when they shaped the multiverse because the Elder Gods are lazy slob jerkfaces. Anyway, there's the Stone of Jas, which seems to be power itself and was the first artifact created. Then there's the Elder Kiln of Ful and the lava monsters that it pops out, which are the most advanced tech of all the artifacts and seem to have played a part in RAISING MOUNTAINS. The Staff of Armadyl and the Sword of Skagaroth so far only have been effective at killing or injuring gods and transferring divine power. Wait, no, the sword is also a suped up version of Will Perry's Subtle Knife; it cuts through to alternate dimensions and doesn't afraid of anything. The Elder Horn (no name yet) so far has given Quin the Seasinger enormous power over the creatures of the sea. It may be an amplification device. Finally, there is the Crown Archival, which can locate the other artifacts but in turn alerts the holders of those other artifacts of the crown's location.

My headcanon used to say that Amascut corrupted the Staff of Armadyl to give it its god killing powers when it was used against her but I am sure official canon will contradict me on this in several ways pretty soon. In canon she has recently acquired the Kharid-ib diamond which isn't an Elder Artifact but is very artifact-like. It possesses people and just wants to go back home and get away from Amascut.

But for a personal artifact I nominate the weird spear/sword on a stick that Amascut is portrayed with in statues of her. I suspect it is a Staff of Light. Prior to a combat mechanic update to the game, it was able to create a personal shield-bubble of solid light and was a very good polearm type melee weapon in addition to a very good magic staff. It is still able to randomly reduce the rune cost of spells. I suppose it could, as an artifact, make the wielder a very efficient and very frugal killer of things.

For Fairy Fixit, I nominate a holy wrench that is unnaturally proficient at percussive maintenance, even when it comes to software bugs and ghosts in the machine.

Evil Chicken... hmmm... I am gonna need help here. His nest gets raided occasionally in order to steal the egg he laid (gender confusion everywhere, I know) and I am betting that is traumatic enough to create an artifact. But beyond that *shrug*

[timelessinventor]

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE.

Helena was pleased to see her time machine smacking made it into that thing. (Because it was pretty epic. It's around 1:43 or so.)

[fairy_fixit]

Aren't you glad I linked to the youtube video instead of the TVTropes page that inspired it? Luckily it came to my attention yesterday. :P

I didn't notice the W13 clip in there! I see Helena and Claudia, but who are the other two helping them with the time machine maintenance?

[damncompass]

The guy with the curly hair that you only see his backside of is Artie. he's the paranoid boss of the Agents.

The white-haired lady is Rebecca, a former agent, and one of minkhollow's favourite characters.

[not_my_sandbox]

Oof, I wasn't sure if Artie was that tall.

[damncompass]

Everyone else is kinda short, and the shot's at an odd angle, I think. Claud's pretty short, Helena's not that tall, and Rebecca's pretty short too.

*shrug* Everyone in the Warehouse is pretty short. Except Pete and Myka.

[minkhollow]

Four generations of Warehouse gent beating a machine into submission! Of course it had to be there. :D