Ladies and Gentlemen, for your consideration: a bar plot.
Once upon a time, ages back, Arithon s'Ffalenn and Rachel Grey did their best to reach ever onward, upward, and outward in the realm of cooking and make soup and bread. Trust me, for this they were reaching. Neither of them could cook worth a damn.
Really.
The end results of that thread was pizza, a sentient tree that self-identified as Rai, and sentient bread. (Yes, those of you who cook, it is not actually even related to bread. That's what the characters assumed it was, so that's what it assumed it was.)
The last
line in that thread was:
Or so those eye stalks at the window would have them believe as they slip away into the murky depths...yes, let them celebrate...What's the point of all this? Simple. The bread is
coming back to Milliways intent on finding its creators. One of whom is almost never around anymore, and the other of whom is long retired.
And in the two years since the bread was born the various gobbets of it have undergone something of a schism. Which is to say that half of it believes that it should respect The Creators and live good little bready lives, and the other half believes that it should
kill The Creators for throwing it out the window into the Thames.
The bread is going to be taking over the greenhouse for its little war. It won't be
dangerous to anyone (it's cornstarch, eggs, milk, water, butter, and several kinds of magic) although it can be various levels of annoying with great ease.
The players can attempt to communicate with the bread, attempt to destroy it (succeed in destroying individual bits of it- although that could piss off the side that glob was on! You could get drafted into the Bread Holy War with help from the other side and attacks from the one you went after), attempt to ignore it, whatever. The bread cannot talk, so actual communication is a no go, but pantomime and charades work just as well for recruiters! Any bread 'captured' or 'studied' will choose to die in most circumstances, breaking down into it's component parts. Those wanting to discuss 'pet bread' or the like will need to ping/email me at Veldrin Dalharil or steahl(at)yahoo(dot)com
A note to those of you with slightly more than normal pups: The bread eats magic. All kinds of magic, from cantrip level to deity level. Your good factions are going to beg for hand outs...your bad? Are going to hunt down tasty people and glob them! The bread cannot cause lasting harm with it's feeding, so no worries of hospitalization.
Now the fun part; effective weaponry. Bread dough, or those things calling themselves such, are not well known for their weaknesses. Most attacks will simply leave the bread stunned. Blunt weaponry is very good for the stunning effect, as are walls, floors, boots, etc. Knives, swords, daggers? Well...congratulations, you've increased the ranks! Cut dough and you get...more dough. Fire, deep frying, and boiling are more effective methods for killing a portion of bread...but no doubt there are others out there.
When people get bored the Second Coming will occur (that'd be Annie Wells, baker) and the bread will get soundly whopped with spoons until it settles down.
My schedule and ability to type are limited, so it's mainly a free-for-all plot that should start next Tuesday for those interested.